Rararara

[Rararara]

It’s a control tatic, he knows you’re worried about the children being alone with him, I assume the supervisor wouldn’t be your self either.
So if he refuses to be supervised and tells you then he won’t see them, then you feel bad on the kids for not being able To see him.. so then you will supervise it and be around him still.. then he can start the cycle again.

[Rararara]

Massive red flags 😔

It made me feel panic inside when you were describing how you was feeling about not knowing what you had done and having to try figure it out

This behaviour is over something so minimal and that you had no idea would cause them reactions. Imagine the behaviour and reaction of something bigger. Also I feel as he is saying you should wait for him permission to post on IG and ask if you can go to the toilet if it doesn’t go with his plans

[Rararara]

Thank you for the reply
And I’m sorry it happened to you too. The only reason he is taking part in this course is because social services require it as (detail removed by moderator). Because of domestic abuse and drug misuse.
I’m guessing the first session was about setting healthy boundaries and how he would like to be treated and he’s automatically got from that, that me expressing my hurt from his actions on social media and me expressing I don’t like him doing what he does on there is me controlling and abusing him.

It wasn’t so long ago I discovered another lie so tried to end it and didn’t talk to him, he promised then there was no one else and swore to my face he hasn’t spoke to anyone and then that turned out to be a lie to and when I confronted him his excuse was, you didn’t need to know. We wasn’t together. You wansnt talking to me, (detail removed by moderator) and if you don’t talk to me or block me I’ll do it more.

I asked him how I was abusive and he basically said (detail removed by moderator)

Am I really that worthless that I should just be happy he’s with me and wants to do things with me. And just ignore everything else ?

[Rararara]

Thank you for your reply. I just feel so angry at my self, I spent nearly (detail removed by moderator) of the same abuse betrayal lies and hurt. But then it twisted on to me. So why do I still think it would of been any different.
I’m hurt that someone that claims to love and want me, can hurt me that much.
Why did I ever think I’d ever be good enough.

He once said to me ‘ you deserve how I treat you because you keep letting me do it ‘

I don’t understand, the way he treats me is like he hates me and wants to hurt me as much as he can. So why every time I tried walking away he would convince ? And now he literally just told me he didn’t wanna be with me last night when i found out he had been going behind my back yet again/ he denied it of course even though there in black and white. And then said he don’t wanna listen to my shit. Ain’t arguing and we are done

[Rararara]

I can’t help you stay gone , but what I can tell you is I wish I had. I let him have contact with his son and somehow I ended up back. Things were great for a couple of months. Then back to the abuse and lies and when call him out it’s my fault and I get punished more. Currently been discarded. So just remember it might be different for a little while but unfortunately it’s all act 😔 I hope you heal xx

[Rararara]

Hi thanks for you reply. I managed to get out. But he still trying to control and draining me even miles away.

[Rararara]

I literally feel like my head is going to explode and so drained and tired

I’ve had no luck getting out yet

[Rararara]

Thank you for the reply’s

I made contact this morning with women’s aid. I guess I’m scared of not knowing what to do, what will happen to my children’s belongings, uprooting my children and being so far away from what little friends and family I do have left. Basically having nothing.and im hurting knowing I gave him my all and realising he don’t love me. Im just his possession

Doesn’t help with a teething baby and no sleep 😂

[Rararara]

I know all the material stuff doesn’t matter, we’ll not to me anyway. It’s just stupid stuff like the kids (detail removed by moderator) and babies Walker and taking them away from everything. It’s also the baby not seeing his dad. It’s the guilt, but I also know I have nothing to feel guilty for.
Also the confusion of how can someone say they love me and threaten me about me leaving and never being able to move on. But Treat me like they can’t stand me and hit me. (detail removed by moderator) it’s scarred.

He latest threat is acid. And I know I can’t take that as a empty threat because he was ‘ angry ‘ when he said it.

I know the right thing to do and what I’ve got to do.
I’m currently waiting for a refuge. I’ve got to see it as it’s a start of a better life for my children and that it will make sure in a years time they will still have a mum.

[Author]

Posts