Selflove3

[Selflove3]

Thank you, I do have friends I could stay with if necessary. I just don’t want too much confusion for the kids. I know it’s never going to be a perfect situation and I’ll do whatever it takes. I just wish I had more answers I suppose.

[Selflove3]

Thank you so much for all your kind words. It’s relieving to hear. I hate this so much , and I still feel like I’m breaking apart my family. My heart hurts when I think about the days my kids won’t be with me. I just can’t continue like this.

[Selflove3]

I’m sorry you’re feeling the same. It’s such a difficult space but it feels like manipulation to keep us. It’s not even real is it.

[Selflove3]

My red line was a few weeks ago. I’ve not been out dancing since before my kids were born. So many years. And I got invited out with friends. I was so excited and I knew it would be a difficult day with my husband. The week leading up was stressful enough. Asking why I was (removed by moderator). Why I was (removed by moderator). Spent (removed by moderator) hours that day being berated. Asking why I need to be (removed by moderator). Why I would complete disregard what my husband thinks bc hes “(removed by moderator)”. Threatening to leave the house and not be back in time for me to go out. Telling me if I was gonna be out to just not come back at all and go sleep with someone else for all he cares. I was constantly trying to move away from him bc our kids were present for this whole fight. We got kinda stuck in the doorway and h shouted in my face and raised his fists in anger. He didn’t hit me but he was angry and trying to throw his weight around. I still insisted that I deserved to go out with my friends. I deserved to feel human for a few hours. He continued to escalate and told the kids (removed by moderator). Crying and whatnot. Even as I was getting ready he was sat trying to apologise to me. Continuing the conversation. Wouldn’t even leave me alone when I was on the toilet. It was absurd.

And I’ve been sat thinking so much about it. How extreme his response was. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t wanting anything unreasonably. I rarely go out. And he lost his mind. The second he felt his control over me slipping he had a fit. Bc normally I have stayed home. I’ve given into him and cancelled plans or gone places he considered acceptable with people he approved of. And that was the red line. I don’t think he will ever hit me. And honestly I wish he would bc it would make it easier. But the pain of what I’m currently experiencing is worse than a punch would be. So I’ve not left yet. But I’ve made the decision. And that feels like a great first step. I will not be emotionally abused anymore.

[Selflove3]

I could’ve written this post. I’ve decided to leave but I’m trying to sort through the emotions. He’s on his best behaviour given a recent blow up where I spent (removed by moderator) hours crying while he told me what a bad mom and wife I was for wanting to go out dancing with my friends for a few hours. I did end up going but he kept escalating trying to keep me home. Threatened to leave. Told the kids he was packing his bags. Etc. now we are in the calm phase but he’s still harassing me about where I’ve been. Why I want to spend more time with my friends than him. Why dont I love him. Can’t I see how horrible I’m being and how much I’m hurting him. Meanwhile he can make plans left and right and it’s no issue. It’s awful. Don’t wait for the big push. You already know in your heart what the right answer is. You deserve unconditional love. You deserve happiness. You deserve room to breathe.

[Selflove3]

Thank you, this is really kind.

I know I’ll get through it. The financials I think are some of the scariest bits. Idk where I’ll get that money from but I suppose it works out somehow. Like you said, it’s just hard to see right now.

[Selflove3]

Thank you. It is tough to hear but it’s necessary to take the next steps. It’s so hard bc I was in an abusive relationship before this one. Idk how I didn’t see it. You’re right there’s such a wide spectrum
Of behaviours. Def need to focus on myself.

[Selflove3]

Are you still in the relationship ? I’m at a total loss. I want better for myself or my kids but right now my husband is insisting he will make changes. We’ve been here before tho. Change will last for a couple weeks maybe even a couple months and it will go back. He insists it’s different this time bc I said I was leaving. Idk what to do. My situation is also quite complicated. I can’t give too much info cuz I know it will be redacted anyway. But it’s def not as simple as us separating.

I’m sorry you’re going through the same.

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