Sparklegone

[Sparklegone]

I can completely relate to what you are saying SS x
The positive is that you have made your decision now. I believe it’s important to plan your exit so it’s as safe as possible for you. I would really encourage you to speak to resources for help with this if you are struggling darlin. It’s hard.
These types of relationships are completely exhausting in every way. I remember thinking if I don’t die of stress I could end up doing something to myself to stop it all.
You may not recognise yourself at the moment but once you leave you will be able start finding yourself again, healing and recovering from this awful situation. It’s really hard and it’s not going to get better overnight but trust me you will be happy at the end of it. There’s a better life out there for you.
Stay strong and I hope you find the strength already within you to reach out for help. You can do this.
Thanks for sharing with us all
SG xx

[Sparklegone]

Hi Landy
Stay strong.
I know you feel like you can barely function right now but you need to focus on you and your wellbeing. It’s so important. You are important.
Try and think of things that have helped you relax before in meantime but if you are too stressed to remember have a look online as there are some great resources. Could you discuss how you are feeling with your GP?
I don’t know exactly what your circumstances are but there are always all of us on here listening if you even need to talk.
Sending hugs
SG x

[Sparklegone]

Hello Darlin
The best advice as per the others that I can give you is do not contact your ex because it will never end well and will actually hinder your healing.
I am a month post break up. First two weeks I went no contact but it felt unbearable. I don’t have a great support network because I isolated myself whilst I was going through hell in my relationship so I believed he would care about my mental and physical wellbeing but he didn’t in the slightest. I was crying, suicidal, everything you can imagine and he didn’t care at all. He said he only answered out of pity and that I only had myself to blame for being in my current state. Not only did he kick me harder than ever he also spoke about how well he was doing for himself in the midst of it all.
Not to talk about myself but I am giving an example and context to my point that no good can come of it because they don’t see reality. They don’t believe they have done anything wrong. They feed and thrive on you feeling terrible.
I have also come to realise you can’t get the truth from individuals who aren’t honest with themselves.
There’s no excuse for abuse so it doesn’t matter what they have to say. The best thing you can do is go no contact and focus on you. I have done this for two weeks now and whilst I don’t feel amazing I am able to get out of bed now and do small things. Trying to speak to him was the worst thing I ever did because hearing the lack of concern or care for me knocked me even lower than I was.
Do you boo and focus on YOU now. Be kind to yourself and keep being strong!
SG xx

[Sparklegone]

Hello
How would he know the doctor is trying to call you? It sounds like he is trying to cause you distress.
My GP always calls off a withheld number. I think it’s to prevent you from being able to call back as and when you feel like it which I would have wanted to do sometimes given the way my ex used to disturb my peace of mind day in day out.
I would call the surgery and ask if the doctor has been trying to reach you? I always do that and gives me peace of mind. There’s nothing worse than wondering who is calling you.
You aren’t losing it. Don’t let threats make you feel this way.
I don’t know all the details but hopefully this is a little bit helpful.
SG x

[Sparklegone]

Hi
I just wanted you to know that I understand what you are going through and how frustrating it can be that those around you dont understand the depth of it.
I’m in the very early stages of leaving but I have found that using a journal with useful information you have collated yourself to reach to in moments of darkness could really help. If I am in crisis in my head now I look at what I have noted to do in moments of stress that I enjoy doing which are picked from suggestions online. It’s like have an emergency plan. Certain foods can also help eliminate stress.
You are still healing but always remember that no matter how bad you feel you are always in a better position that you were.
Keep posting and using the forum for support. We care. Well done for coming this far. You are an inspiration to the rest of us.
SG x

[Sparklegone]

Hi FL
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. It’s really kind of you. I actually had the courage to leave before and within months I fell back into it because the pain I was going through was too much for me that it actually felt easier to be trapped in the hell he offered me as a life. I think the first time round I was in denial and didn’t have the right support. I didn’t deal with it I just masked it with things that weren’t actually going to make a difference to my happiness in the longevity of it.
Thank you for your suggestion of learning to relax from your own experience. I am not good at relaxing because I have been on edge for so long. Always something to do for him. I couldn’t be who I was because I would be criticised. On top of that I didn’t trust him because of his past and something he confided in that he had done. It was on my mind every single day of our relationship. My gut saying I could not trust him, fear and worry and wondering if something if he was also deceiving me. There were too many question marks about too many things.
I intend to join a gym tomorrow so I will look for those particular classes which I have went to before but couldn’t keep up with because of my home life. I had no motivation to do new things or the things I loved.
I don’t know what sleep is anymore but I’d love to be able to.
Is there anything else that has worked well for you?
Thank you for your kind, caring and supportive words. It means so much to me at this difficult time.
I also wanted to say well done for moving forward. You are brave, strong and keep sharing with us.
SG x

[Sparklegone]

Hi Lisa,
Thank you for your reply, support and also for your suggestions as to other sources that may be useful for me. I will follow up on these in the coming days. It’s really comforting to be heard and also to be understood.
SG x

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