xpeacex

[xpeacex]

Hi Flowerbubble, I don’t think your alone in feeling like you do. Your stronger than you think because you made it out. Recovering is difficult, one day good then another day not so good and at times might be like mostly bad days but look to the positives of your life and remember this is going to take time. Time to process, time to heal and time to let go.
You can do this. Be kind easy on yourself, its ok to cry. Cry as much you need to, this will help you.
What we think can really affect our moods as you no doubt know, maybe focus on your thoughts and try to think positive. Easier said than done but something that helped me was saying in my mind ‘ positive thought..positive emotion’. Just saying that literally over and over again really makes a difference I believe. We need to really observe what it is we are thinking when feeling negative and work on it. Thoughts are very powerful indeed. We think then we feel, better to observe the negative thoughts when they appear rather than attach to them. This is something I am working on but sometimes its easy to forget about being mindful. Its like minute by minute or heck second by second being aware of what your thinking makes big difference mind wise.

Hope your ok.

[xpeacex]

Oh wait meant say not got support from womens aid oops

[xpeacex]

Thank you both. Got support from womens aid, how would they help with this though?

I agree HopeLifeJoy ex is making me look bad one. (detail removed by moderator)
So the most recent ex extra nasty and so now this is the freaking outcome.

Not right at all and playing on my mind.

[xpeacex]

Just wanted to let you know your not alone. Sending you hugs. Maybe you could try to think of the positives in your life, you have overcome so much so please try not to be hard on yourself. Its ok to have the guard way up, its natural after whats happened. As more time goes by your guard will lower and you will have less doubts about letting others in.
Hope your okay.

[xpeacex]

Hi, I had a screen which helped me because seeing him would have affected me. I thought I be very nervous but I felt calm and confident.
Piece of advice, if your ex’s lawyer asks anything about the past which is not the time of what your ex done for being arrested then catch them out. Tell the lawyer he should not be going on about the past or things unrelated. Thats actually a big thing, so if they go on about anything but then speak up and tell them. I believe my ex’s lawyer had plenty more questions until i caught him out as he kept going on about the past rather than sticking to the (detail removed by moderator) His lawyer went quiet for a minute or two hah looking through his notes thinking what do when I caught him out.

In court to me its like a game kinda if that possibly makes sense to any of you here.

Anyway the screen for me helped so much.
Take care 🙂

[xpeacex]

I agree with the others, do not give up. I went court 3 times cos kept getting adjourned,I was told by a few professionals that I was showing determinating for justice. Earlier days for you but just keep showing your own determination. You deserve justice.

[xpeacex]

Hi, your going through alot. Hope your ok. Check out the foods spirulina and maca. These are packed with allsorts, maca helps for weight gain amongst other things. Totally natural and spirulina is used in cases of malnutrition. Can buy both in powder form to have in a smoothie etc for breakfast, also in pill but powder is best.
Both are good for building energy level up and balancing womens hormones.
Take care.

[xpeacex]

Glad your doing so well, well done 🙂

[xpeacex]

You are doing the best for your children by the way, to be honest if you chose to take ex back then you would not be doing whats best for them. Dont want sound harsh but its the truth. You and the children are your own little family, be proud.

[xpeacex]

Oh Yellowflower sorry your feeling like this. Please try to think of your children, they deserve a calm abuse free childhood. You have come so far, I think its natural to feel like you do, only human and you are compassionate. Your ex does not love you like you love him, you just need to give yourself time to move on and heal. Your children will be grateful you are doing this when they are older, please try your best to not contact the ex. Think of the times he was abusive and infront of the children, would you really want to go back and live like that?

[xpeacex]

Your doing the right thing. Children witnessing any abuse has impact on them, my ex has not seen his child for months. I was told by professionals that if me and ex got back together them social services would take the child. Do not feel any guilt, you have done nothing wrong.
What you are doing right now is showing you are protecting your children, you and your children just need time to recover. Its understandable how you feeling but think of your children’s wellbeing, daddy abusing mummy aint healthy for them to be around.
Challenging being a single mum but also great, been to criminal court and ex was convicted and now family court deal with however I would not get back with ex. It will be easier in time to let him go and you shall not regret. Just focus on you and children.

[xpeacex]

This is super useful info. Thank you for posting. I shall mention this to court.

[xpeacex]

Meant say biological not biology. Oops

[xpeacex]

Make the statement and stand up for yourself. You will feel better if you did. Does he deserve to get away with how he treated you? Only you can decide but he and his family will be very happy you have not taken it further. Not enough women go through the criminal system when it comes to abusers sadly.

[xpeacex]

Beautiful words, much needed as having tough time. Thank you for sharing.

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