Bonnie

[Bonnie]

I am in the same situation as you.
I am constantly shouted at, called the vilest names daily, calls me a c**t, that I’m self centred , all I’m good at is doing the cooking told I deserve to be called what he calls me ,told I am lazy, a nag, self centred, when he reduces me to tears told I am faking it and it’s crocodile tears and that he has seen it all before. Tells me he feels unloved by me as I don’t let him in but how he expects me to let him in when he treats me like this is beyond me! He makes things up that I am supposed to have said even though I know I haven’t said or done them he makes me doubt myself. He plays the victim that he is going to kill himself, that he is depressed and I’m no help at all, he tells me he hates me one minute then he loves me the next , he threatens to hit me and comes at me, he is a bully. I constantly try to make him happy for a quiet life but whatever I do he finds something else to have a go about.

When I go to bed he sometimes makes noise so I can’t sleep to try and start an argument, or he will come up at (detail removed by Moderator) in the morning expecting sex and I don’t want that with him because of how he makes me feel and treats me. I’m just constantly on edge and exhausted by it all,some days he comes down and just sits in back room and barely speaks . I desperately want to leave but don’t know how easy it will be as we own our house but he will never leave or agree to sell. I left a few years ago but went back after a few days, I even contacted a solicitor but stupidly when he said it would change I believed him.
I just want a quiet life where I can relax and be me for me and my (detail removed by Moderator) cats where I don’t have to live this life with someone who doesn’t care about me

[Bonnie]

I totally get where you are coming from, I get this every weekend without fail! He starts off nice, has a drink then just turns, I get called every name and swear word under the sun, he puts headphones on to listen to music then proceeds to sing at top of his voice , keeps me awake with the noise, blames me for everything, he hates his life, doesn’t want to go on etc, he’s scary as he’s a big bloke. He’s nice as pie during the week but I am so sick of weekends, every weekend I think that’s it I’m going to a solicitor and never seem to have the guts to. I desperately want to split up with him.

[Bonnie]

Thank you. I have applied for separate bank account so that I can put funds from our joint bank account. We have a joint mortgage so I don’t know if I could leave and rent privately? I am just so scared to make the next move as I don’t know what he will do, I guess I don’t have much confidence at the moment, I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me, i dont want this life with him. I feel really alone. I will find out who my local
DA suppourt charity is, would they help me as it’s emotional abuse I’m geting?

[Bonnie]

I feel exactly in the same situation. My husband is extremley abusive to me, nice during the week as in his words he has to be as he has to go to work, whatever that means!but come Saturday evening it starts, i’m called every name under the sun, everything is my fault, he threatens to top himself, says the most hurtful things and seems to get pleasure when he makes me cry,we have tears then next day or so where he says it will change, he’s a failure, i’m better off without him, he promises it will get better, it never does. Tells me everything is my fault, says he has depression but refuses to get help. I told him i want to seperate and him to move out but he never does anything about it. I feel trapped in this unhappy, unloving marriage and can see no way of resolving it, i dont want to be with him and just want out of the situation, i’m (detail removed by Moderator) years old and dont want the rest of my life to be this

[Bonnie]

I feel exactly in the same situation. My husband is extremley horrible to me, nice during the week as in his words he has to be as he has to go to work, whatever that means!but come Saturday evening it starts, i’m called every name under the sun, everything is my fault, he threatens to top himself, says the most hurtful things and seems to get pleasure when he makes me cry,we have tears then next day or so where he says it will change, he’s a failure, i’m better off without him, he promises it will get better, it never does. Tells me everything is my fault, says he has depression but refuses to get help. I told him i want to seperate and him to move out but he never does anything about it. I feel trapped in this unhappy, unloving marriage and can see no way of resolving it, i dont want to be with him and just want out of the situation

[Bonnie]

Hi
I really feel for you both, i have the same thing going on.
I’ve been told for the past (detail removed by moderator) that i am difficult to be around that i am the cause of his problems etc, it just comes out of no where. We’ve been on a day off together and everything has been ok then out of no where he just starts that i’m constantly nagging him which i’m not, that i should have a drink and enjoy nyself. I feel so wortless when he starts and just want to pack a bag and go anywhere but dont know whats stopping me

[Bonnie]

I’m new on here and just feel at the end of my tether and so alone and dont know how
things ended up like this. My husband is verbally and emotionally abusive, i’m constantly called names, told by him eveything is my fault, the problems he has are my fault, i dont suppourt him, that the marriage usnt working etc. I’ve asked him to go, he never does and i’m just stuck in a awful situation. I dont want to be with him but cant carry on like this, we have a mirtgage on the house and i would rather he leaves, i’m constantly on egg shells with him and just cant see a way out

[Bonnie]

Thank you for your replies and advice.
Beach hut i think i will have no option but as to sell the house, how did it go for you when you told him you were selling? I cant imagine that he will take this well and i can imagine he will be difficult about it as he is with most things. I hadn’t thought of keeping a journal, i will start doing this.
I have told my brother a little of what goes on, he is suppourtive and listens when i need a chat, i dont have a lot of close friends but i know things have got to stop and i’ve given him enough chances and things dontchange for long, he is very manlipulative but i know i dont deserve this life, i just want to be me and be happy

[Bonnie]

Hi
I’m new to the site and feeling really down.
My husband is a gambler and whilst he hasn’t hurt me physically, the emotional abuse feels awful. He is all nice thru the week but come the weekend he starts, i’m called every name under the sun,told i’m not a good oerson to be around, that it’s my fault he gambles, that i’ve not suppourted him etc etc.
He even brings my parents up who have both passed away to try and get a reaction out of me. We have a mortgage on our house and i would love him to move out, i have no fight left in me anymore and deep down dont want to be with him but just cant seem to get the guts to finally put and end to it.

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