Bubz

[Bubz]

Omg you have taken he words out of my mouth. I feel the same way. He is a great father to our son but a shocking husband and the way he talks to me infront of my son is not acceptable. He is also now trying to turn my son against me and separate us by acting like I’m the bad guy. He has no boundaries with our son and I do so naturally, my son always go to his dad because he let’s him get away with anything, let’s him go to sleep whenever he wants and he constantly undermines me. I would love nothing more than an amicable divorce but he has made it clear that he will not ever leave his son and if anyone goes, it will be me.
He is also now making out that my son is scared of me and that I have mental health issues. A weeks back, he was horrible to me all over (detail removed by moderator) and his mouth got nasty and he actually scared my son and I had to walk out twice that night to de escalate the situation. He turned around and said it was me who scared our son and I needed removing..his lies and manipulation are dangerous and I cannot/ will not let him alienate me from my son who is nearly (detail removed by moderator) years old. Me and my son have a whale of a time until he’s in the picture and then i am constantly stepping on egg shells.
I feel trapped and stuck although family and friends are constantly telling me to take this further but like you said, I don’t want to take my son away from his father, I just don’t want him to live in this toxic situation….

[Bubz]

This is a good question. I want to ‘log’ some stuff with the police but not have them take it any further unless I say so.

[Bubz]

Everything you have said is exactly how I’m feeling and the situation I am in so you are not alone. I have a toddler so feel like I am stuck even more because I cant just have a clean break, he will always be in my life.
I hope one day soon, we find courage to do the right thing for ourselves x

[Bubz]

I have been keeping a journal for over a year because I believe my hubby is cheating too. You can log every detail in there and use it as proof when needed. I hope you can get out of this like I am trying to. Goodluck

[Bubz]

Thank you Auriel. Hopefully I’ll find the strength to leave one day. And I’ll try to ring the helpline tomorrow. Does something just click in your head to leave one day?

[Bubz]

Thank you for all your encouraging words. I appreciate it. I have already taken the step and spoke to a domestic abuse helpline who have given me the local number to contact. Do you know if these places are open on a Sunday when I’m alone?
He has (removed by moderator) starting an argument with me asking me why I’m soo angry and that we need to atleast be civil. I told him I’ve had enough and he just brushes my feelings aside and talks over me.
Found more (removed by moderator) this morning but denial denial denial

[Bubz]

Also he makes me feel guilty about not having sex with him and forfilling his needs so no chance of passing anything to me. I forgot to mention, in the past when he cheated, he already got somebody pregnant and when I found out, forced her to get an abortion. I should never have took him back. Wouldn’t be surprised if he has more babies out there. I know what people think…I’m stupid for ever taking him back but it’s hard when you think your in love

[Bubz]

Hi, you are very brave.
I’m in an abusive relationship at the moment. It’s more mental and emotional than anything else although he has grabbed me by the throat before and pulled my hair recently. We do share a young child who he has no boundaries with at All and he always plays the good cop as I’m the only one with boundaries. I have felt like he is trying to turn my son against me too over the past few months and it hurts really bad. Me and my son have the best time when it’s just us too but the minute he’s in the picture, my son doesn’t listen to me, he can be disrespectful at times meanwhile, the husband just sits there gloating and laughing.
I cannot find the courage to leave because I’m scared of the affect it will all have on my son. He adores both mummy and daddy but we just don’t work together. He has also recently started saying I have mental health issues and that my son is scared of me to try and deflect all of his abuse onto me. It makes me soo upset and angry because I am the softest and kindest mother going.
I just cannot find a way out. I cant take that plunge, I also feel guilty about leaving him because I know how much he adores our son but he also says he wil never leave him and if anyone needs to go, its me and I think that’s why he’s making up these things about me. I hope professionals will be able to see through his BS

[Bubz]

Atleast you have tried. I think I’m most scared to leave because of my son and I don’t want to take him away from his comfort zone (his home) we have lived in since he was born.
I’m sat here holding my son to sleep feeling like q failure..my heart breaks and don’t want to put him through any drama if I can help it.
I Don’t think he will ever change and I need to know my worth.

[Author]

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