Flyflyaway

[Flyflyaway]

Conceive# typo sorry

[Flyflyaway]

Hi, I resignate with you massively and understand your pain. My daughters dad’s parents have alienated my daughter against me and its so painful. Shes My only child also. I to failed to leave at an acceptable time for ignorant people who have nothing been abused, but it’s alot deeper then that. As soon as I fell pregnant with my daughter her grandma hated me, as in years after I learnt she was trying to convince but I did first, (detail removed by Moderator).

[Flyflyaway]

Hi, minimeerkat, I feel your pain I’m in what seems to be a similar situation. I’m now agoraphobic and suffer with severe C-PTSD and will not go on any social media. Not only did my ex abuse me repeatedly but my own family turned their backs at me out of ignorance. Then My daughters grandparents have alienated her agaist me too, during at my weakest time of having a miscarriage with a baby i did not want to conceive. Stay strong ladies, Rome wasn’t built in a day but youve got this! P.s I also didn’t get any support from repeated attempts from relevant agencies.

[Flyflyaway]

Then (detail removed by moderator) later i couldnt sleep properly because all of this and said to him i am concerned about our relationship. And wanted to be able to communicate normal but he closed his eyes pretending he couldnt hear me and then i tryed once more with him then laughing in my face, he said he didnt care about us, that all he wants to do is travel, doesnt want children and marriage, then starts calling my daughter (detail removed by moderator). At this point i asked him to go, saying the only reason he was here is because we are ment to be in a relationship, and that clearly wasnt happening. he then told me No i should leave my own home. I told him i will call the police if he didnt leave and he said (detail removed by moderator) and started laughing, saying they would not take any action. Soi phoned them and he could here everything i was saying and still stayed in bed. When i got off the phone and had my phone ready on 999, i told him they are on there way. He started grabbing essentials and told me (detail removed by moderator) still laughing. He left. The police came as soon as he left, telling me to get the locks change and that i had a lucky escape. Saying to arrange a time with him to collect his things for the police to be there. By the time i went to bed it was 3am. He kept trying to call me and text me at (detail removed by moderator) standing outside my house asking to collect his thing’s. I was half asleep when i naturally opened the door to him, he got his things and left. (detail removed by moderator) he went to the (detail removed by moderator) next to my house and decided to come and see me, stupid me i let him explain his self and hetold me he was sorry that he wants to nake thingswork and that the reason he callex my daughter (detail removed by moderator) is because hes worried that she has a social and anxiety problem. That shes amazing at (detail removed by moderator) but cant do things on her own accord. Explaining that her dad does nothing for her her aprt from pay me maintenance, watches me struggle whilst hes living the high life. Sort story he grabbed his things and cameback promising this wont happen again. My (detail removed by moderator) was on his death bed (detail removed by moderator), so we went to the hospital and all the time we were there he was being overly flirtatious with (detail removed by moderator) in front of me. Because i have anxiety i didnt want to say anything and the timing wasnt right. I was in a dreadful state seeing my (detail removed by moderator) die so young asking me for help in some of his last breaths. I am currently at home with apparently a (detail removed by moderator) infection being told to isolate because of the virus. My partner has continually complained wanting to go the (detail removed by moderator), to buy a (detail removed by moderator), to buy (detail removed by moderator), still going out with friends, wont go food shopping unless i go. Last night a porn picture popped up on his (detail removed by moderator) tablet whilst i was playing (detail removed by moderator), so i checked his history and it turns out hes been looking at pornographic pictures which made me feel sick. He said he was bored and that he hadnt been getting sex of me so what was the big deal. The big deal is he’s got some (detail removed by moderator), thats why i wont have sex, ive got the infection and it kills you when youve lost so much confidence becuase of this drama hamster wheel thats drained me of all life. I feel even more isolated and stuck because of the virus. Ifeel like i died the day i met him

[Flyflyaway]

(detail removed by moderator) when i got home i had a little bit of confidence to speak with him about his gaming addiction, asking if we could do other things with our time. And he then went on a rampage saying my cooking was shit, that i didnt know how to cook, that i only use already made foods that you just chuck in the oven (which is not true) i asked when i last done thay and he couldnt give me a answer, then i said its not like hes ever cooked me any of his national dishes, the only dishes he knows are the ones i taught him because his mum used to do everything for him.(detail removed by moderator) i cryed and told him im not his enemy and then he apoligised. Is any of this stuff normal because im getting closer to the date of leaving him but i keep secound guessing myself thinking maybe he’s like this because of me.

[Flyflyaway]

In other post ive said im getting stronger but everyday is a war with him and my anxiety so i never know

[Flyflyaway]

A (removed by moderator) he had a erection in bed and was instantly acting like my best friend

[Flyflyaway]

The sad thing also is about my first comment was, when he saw i was angry and distressed about the way i look, he said you can finally see it now

[Flyflyaway]

The computer thing has been since november constantly

[Flyflyaway]

The bit about my dad was a low blow, he always says mean and demeaning things about my love ones because he knows it hurts me and he knows i cant stand up to him.

[Flyflyaway]

Wow you actually inspire me, i can hear real strength in the way you speak. My partner used to be like that, he wouldnt just delete male friends out of my life but even female ones. Now hes no longer jealous because i dont look like the same confident beautiful girl i once was, to put in nicely i look nearly homeless most of the time because he intentionally makes all my time about him. He wont give me privacy whist washing, taking a poo, have to eat what he wants, spend the little money i have whilst he saves his, tells me when to go to bed, threatens me he will leave me if i dont get pregnant, smoke or if my anxiety disorder plays up. I am on his rota, only i can stop this before the damage is to late. I miss being me to hun. Your future self will gain mental strength now that youve seen him for what he is and your child deserves the best in life and only will get that by you his mum being happy and being treated normally by others. We only get one life so why should we allow this unworthy misery and pain by aperson who treats us less then dog shit. Keep staying strong, my new mantra is: This is not my Destiny

[Flyflyaway]

I wrote the last comment before i seen your reply, i will reply to your latest now hun xx

[Flyflyaway]

I used to be positive outgoing and bubbly but he killed that out of me as he has a negative remark about everything especially about me. If i had a drink and got a bit loud and confident hey would go mental and say thinhs like i dont recognise you when your drunk, thats not the type of person i want to be with. Witch is funny considering everyone in my life never once made a complaint if anything they loved how much fun and confident i was to be around. Ive not been aload clubbing since then which was a few years ago. The sad thing is i lost my sparkle and his negativity has rubbed of on me please dont let this happen to you. The double standard’s, the threatening to leave, and the not being able to admit being emotionally abusive with nearcissit traits is the same in my partners case. After dealing with his abusive outbursts and demeaning comments, ive gave up defending myself because i become after time frightened and drained of fighting back. I used to want to stay in this relationship, get strong and then make a decision, but now ive realized ive got to leave the abuser in order to get strong and then the fog will clear shortly after. Sorry for writing so much on your wall, its just i felt like i could massively relate to your post

[Flyflyaway]

Omg! Goingthrough it, your situation sounds so similar to mine especially at the early stages anyway.. My partner is from a poor country, where men are seen as far more superior then women and that women have to do everything for them. They twist the truth so much ive noticed and its always in the most negative, demeaning ways. When you cry they get angry, my parner also watches murder shows everynight and when i ask him why, he said he can learn things! That wouldnt seem weird if he wanted a career in the law, which he doesnt. I am with you at being angry, then you blame yourself, then you feel strong then weak again. Your mind goes over and over everything again and again trying to make sence of it but thats what the abuser wants, they love that we lose our souls trying to find the answer to this mess because that means we are still giving them our energy at the same time, even if its not directed at them, the confusion state is where they want us to be, they never loved us, they use us for anything they can,make us lose everything, then once theyve acheived this, they leave and start the cycle all over again with the new supply. We need to get out of this bubble that theyve created for us, its not real love. You have the upperhand that he has his own place even if it doesnt feel like it. It will come in handy when you get the strengh to get rid of him.

[Flyflyaway]

I told my dad the other day the ins and outs and he confirmed its abuse with out me questioning it to him, which helped me mentally clarify it.

Hes also being very supportive but doesnt understand why i havent just left, why would i put up with my partners ill treatment towards me. Anxiety and fear of him is the answer.

I am also seeing (detail removed by moderator) tomorrow for further help and support hopefully

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