ijustwantedhappiness

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Thank you for your replies. It doesn’t help he’s not far away and even though no threat now I feel guilt I can afford this and he has nothing despite it all being his own doing. On good terms with his family ish and worry about rocking the boat with them too! Oh wow always tormenting myself!! Xx

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Thank you for your reply. He’s dependant on alcohol that’s why rehab was such a hard thing to find out at I begged him to go during our marriage but didn’t. All I wonder now is what if. But in a rose tinted way like how he’ll be back to how he was before drink took over and how I’ve now made a mistake!? I feel so confused x

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Gettingtired I know exactly how you feel. I felt the sad desperate feeling for years and during that time I now realise I was becoming detached from him I hated him even when he was being nice I switched from hating him to feeling sorry for him. Like you I wanted to float away and would imagine throwing myself downstairs for a hospital stay for a break and a cry for help. In the end I would wonder what I was waiting for was I waiting for him to cheat or worse behaviour. Then our the blue after an awful night (which is had plenty of times before shouting and bawling and stab threats) I confessed to a friend the police became involved and I’ve barely spoken to him in months. I never thought I’d leave as I felt sorry for him being alcoholic but even though it’s been soooo hard it’s easier than living that life. Lots of love to you xxx

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Thank you, Kip xx

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Thank you for your replies. I’ve read that but still can’t accept alcohol didn’t cause the abuse. I’m ridiculous x

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Thank you for your reply. Yes I’ve read nearly all the books on the book list and currently doing the freedom programme but even now have a hard time accepting alcohol didn’t cause the abuse. I wish things could have been different and I’m always so desperate to talk to him even though I don’t give in I imagine our conversation. X x

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Hello,
I felt exactly like you did never believed I would leave and didn’t think it was abuse until a solicitor pointed it out to me. I took the step of valuing my house which led to worse abuse. Something will happen and you will think I can’t do this anymore and out the blue you’ll find the strength to leave. Even now I find it hard to accept he was abusive and feel sad for him despite police involvement. Sending lots of love xxx

[ijustwantedhappiness]

My husband frank from (detail removed by moderator) everyday. He’d have afternoon nap then continue til drinks ran out hence (detail removed by moderator) bedtime. Drinking (detail removed by moderator) at lunch then weaker beers at night. Abuse varied from verbal to physical occasionally. I left (detail removed by moderator) ago after (detail removed by moderator). It was such a draining and anxious way to live, like a time bomb. But yet I still worry about him!!??

[ijustwantedhappiness]

Your life sounds exactly the same as mine. I would have to wake up early to beg him not to go to the shop when he got up and be on egg shells all day whilst he drank secret drinks hidden all around the house. We didn’t have any children as he had fertility issues brought on by drink. My life was a nightmare but yet I still worry over his well being even though he was (detail removed by moderator) which he breaches a lot. X

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