ineedtosurvivethis

[ineedtosurvivethis]

He’s been reported. I’ve removed myself from.the situation and now he’s leaving messages via people that he needs me to help him.
Delusional. I’m in the dark at a friends. I dont want to talk to them I feel like I’m being judged to even talk about him because I know they are all thinking I told you so.
Thanks guys. I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life. The anger, the words and the actions is so much for Christmas. I’m exhausted by it all. I havent slept properly in months. My whole body is battered.i sound like such a whinging Minnie and after all this he is acting normal. I’m just so done with it all. Guys I’m so sorry for being such a nause. I’m utterly lost.

[ineedtosurvivethis]

I’m going through the same although he turns nasty when you give him what he wants. He sees this as a game dont give him the pleasure of going back or giving in. Start no contact with me, we can do it together and support. He knows you deserve better, you are strong dont give in.xxxx love to you x

[ineedtosurvivethis]

You are such a strong woman. See how far you have become. Its all a facade with him today. I know its hard but you have us all for support. Feel bad for the others with him behind closed doors. The mask will eventually slip. He isn’t that much good of an actor. Think of everything he did wrong. He is the problem.
You have us here. He has himself for a lifetime. How awful!! Merry Christmas sweets x

[ineedtosurvivethis]

I feel so alone. I dont know what else the police can do. He even rang up places today where he knew I would be. When I got there I got welcomed by them saying he had rung them up asking if I was there. Lucky for client confidentiality. I’m keeping below the radar. He is acting like this kind caring man to all and is a monster when its me. I havent encouraged any contact. I got a message last night from him saying he knew what time I had got back at mine and it was right on point the tine I had. I’ve recorded everything. Police aren’t concerned. In their view something has to happen first to me now for them to act. I seriously am at my wits end.

[ineedtosurvivethis]

Hey Maddog and others,
I am bearing up alright. I was at the brute brunt of his behaviour again, he is getting paranoid because I haven’t been intouch. Ive kept a diary, kept out of his way but he always seems to get a frightening message through to me. I am immune to all of this at the moment. He cannot say or do anything that will instil the fear into me again.
He is acting all nonchalant with everyone, still the loving man of the village where butter wouldn’t melt. But I know this façade will soon fade, he cannot endure more than two hours of good behaviour.
I’m still intouch with MARAC and the WA of where I live and they have noted everything down I have told them as I just need that back up. I have kept out of all the flying monkeys smears and just tried to get on with everything. Yes, its been tremendously hard and Ive cried so much but it had to only go this way because I was starting to lose myself and was most likely going to end up being buried somewhere because his meticulous planning and telling me was so insightful that he was thinking it. I know what he is capable of.
Sorry I haven’t been able to update, I have just been keeping a low profile, I can’t really do much at the moment with getting any attention, I just feel a little trapped but I guess its better than how trapped I was feeling before. There is no going back.
Even people at the gym are keeping an eye on me because they can see how fearful I am.
No contact has been the best way forward. I just want him to leave me alone now, I wish nothing for him but to get someone else and be happy because he was toxic when we were together.
I cannot thank you all enough for the love and support you have given to me. I would be lost without it all and probably back in the prison which he calls home.
I will update more if I can, I’m trying to keep a low down on any activity at the moment as I don’t know what he is capable of since he cannot get to me physically.
Love you all guys xx

[ineedtosurvivethis]

Thank you KIP I have to unleash on him in court now. He takes it too far I have to make sure its all final through the authorities and just make sure he’s kept at bay through restraining orders. I cant have anymore threats I can’t live my life in fear. Thank you for your strong words. You are right. I have to fight this through the courts and record everything.
Love to you x

[ineedtosurvivethis]

He said he will know if I go to the police and will kill me if anything like that is reported it will come straight at me. He’s very sly in that way. He’s been reported for weapons before and I got the blame. I’m stuck in that respect. X

[ineedtosurvivethis]

Thank you that’s so kind to read. I’m frightened too. He just rings and rings my house phone and this other phone I’ve been given just to ring for evidence. I’m apparently a prostitute because I went out with friends. So anything I do is wrong. I dont care anymore. I’ve stayed away. He is on the point of doing something I can feel it. I have made sure I’m away and that’s.going to happen until I move. He keeps posting Christmas cards through my door from other people but its his writing telling me I’m being watched. He will get himself into trouble before coming anywhere near me. Thanks guys. I would be a mess if I didnt have your support xxx

[ineedtosurvivethis]

Aww (detail removed by moderator)
He is a monster belittling my dad who had cance. (detail removed by moderator) Everyone protected me last night. He knows he is losing. The best Christmas present is that I can ignore him today and onwards. No one says they are more important than my ‘dead dad’ so he words it. So my dad comes first dead or alive. That man will never be happy. Thank you. Love to you too xxx

[ineedtosurvivethis]

I’m covertly moving in (month removed by moderator). Best thing ever to happen to me. I take everything he says seriously but at the moment I’ve done the best I can. The police are aware they will only do something if anything significant happens. They see me purely as an irritant. He’s a vile human being. I know that if we were together and on Xmas I would be more miserable than I am already. So its a good sign already of moving on. Merry Christmas guys and thanks for the support x x

[ineedtosurvivethis]

My ex loves my fear. I have spoken to the police they say they cant do an harassment order now until after Xmas and for that something has to remarkably happen. They have the messages they just don’t want to do anything. Yes, its that bad. As for self defence I know quite a bit. I have been out all morning too scared to go back.
Thank you for being so kind to me.
I dont know what to expect these next few days.

[ineedtosurvivethis]

He has guns and knives and other weapons. He is bigger than me, I’ve tried to get away from him before only to be pinned against something by my neck. I have recorded and screenshotted every message I have had.
Police dont care. They only care when the shit hits the fan and then the apologies start. They look atme with such distain that I don’t even feel like going to them. I’m just labelled as the lady hwo has an issue with her ex. Not really the best thing when its him who has the issue with me. They laughed off the burial in the wood comment and said he is a bully and really wouldn’t do that. I wonder If they would think like that if it was someone they loved who was scared and trying to get away from someone who is intentionally trying to harm them.
End of the day I’ve done my best.if anything else was to happen then I’ve tried.

I don’t think anyone can gauge the fear i have of this monster.
Thank you for being so lovely and supportive x

[ineedtosurvivethis]

Hiya,
I have tried this with all around here, but after his huge smear campaign people will just think I am crazy like he has made me out to be. If I go around saying that stuff it will merely just clarify everything that he has said to make me look absolutely mental.
He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but he is very sly and cunning when it comes to things like this. I mean does he just wake up in the morning and think ‘ yes I am going to make her life hell today’. To meticulously think all this stuff up is just craziness in itself.

I know something bad is going to happen, I can feel how bloody tense things are at the moment.
Police don’t give a shit, they are only bothered about whether anything is happening physically, even the MARAC meeting said that the police haven’t done enough, they do have blood on their hands already and told me to just draw a line under it all with my ex and walk away (which I have done).
Thing is there are so many things here for it to be coercive control with the police, but they really just don’t care. To them, its only a statistic and they are only sorry when something does happen, its a sad sorry state of affairs when we look at these people to protect us and in reality they really don’t care.

I’m lost if truth be told.
x

[ineedtosurvivethis]

Hello Lisa,
Thank you for the kind response. I tried to contact the Paladin but they say because of the increase of demand to them they are no longer taking in any other concerns until the new year. I felt extremely deflated by this but carried on. I have spoke to my local refuge and womens aid they are all supportive, they know I have to keep at minimum contact with him because he will just explode if I do anything else but ignore him. He went ballistic if I didn’t even send him an ‘I’m fine’ text throughout the day the other day.
I know the lengths he will go to if it goes to no contact indefinitely. I now have one phone dedicated to just his messages and calls so that they are logged and have another phone for family and friends. I have had to act like stealth with this, I need to be up and above my game before he strikes again.
I am extremely fearful about this whole burial thing, I think he knows its my biggest phobia. He says he has cleared out a part of his garden and pointed to under a random slab of a paving stone in the middle of his garden to show that is also a burial ground also for me, but this was a while ago. I think he wanted to see the fear in my face, he gets a kick out of it.

I will try my best to maintain my safety throughout the next couple of days. I worry constantly if anything has been tampered with my car, I must look crazy to all when I walk around checking it daily. But I don’t care.

I must say a huge thank you though for being so lovely. You don’t know how much you have helped me. It means a lot.
Hugs x

[ineedtosurvivethis]

Thank you all. I don’t think you know how much this all means. I cried at reading the lovely responses. I honestly have no clue what to do, I have done the best I can with support services and MARAC are involved, apparently I scored the highest score with it possible. He won’t leave me be whatever I do. The fact he rings places I am going to and I get told when I arrive is really humiliating and embarrassing. I seriously think he is doing this so I don’t go anywhere.
Even when I leave mine ( I know he has people watching me) he will try and call me just as I have left my street I am living on, people may think I am being paranoid but I don’t put anything past him.
When I last saw him he punched my leg, laughed and as I tried to get up he pushed me down and snarled (detail removed by moderator) and then that’s when the whole situation blew up.
I am on guard and have 999 on speed dial but it doesn’t make any difference to them, I seem more of a hindrance than anything else which makes me more despondent than anything else. I think because he hasn’t physically hurt me, a crime really hasn’t taken place.

He mocks my dead parents, he says I’m mentally ill. Even though it maybe a lonely Christmas this year (I feel crap for saying that being tearful)
I would rather go through that, than be with him verbally abusing me infront of the kids and family all Christmas.
Thanks guys, you have been so lovely to me. I just feel extremely nervous each day.
I also have tried to log things with womens aid on the helpline and on here in case anything was to happen. May sound over dramatic to some but to me, its some kind of solace and really does help me just to make sure some things are documented.
Even though its going to be a sombre Christmas, I just want to wish you guys a Merry Christmas and a heartfelt huge thank you.

xxxxx

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