JoyForever

[JoyForever]

Hi Fluffyclouds,

I stayed in a refuge as a single woman. I left because of the abuse of my mother. I remember when I arrived it was very overwhelming but all I can say is take your time to process it all. The refuge is there for you to recover and gather your thoughts. I stayed there for about (detail removed by moderator) months and yes it was stressful at times when it comes to the council and rehousing but you’ll get there.

Have you done a homeless application? That one is different than the housing application. I was able to bid on the housing register after I’ve done that. Now, I know it sounds stressful but I had to get a lawyer at the end, which was free. Through that, I finally had my permanent home via the council. It is a process but it is worth fighting for. There is no way that I’d exchange my peaceful life with going to the abuse. Abuse is abuse- no one, absolutely no one has a right to abuse you and make you feel guilty about it. I think what you need is someone to speak to- the refuge staff are there to support you and never think you have overstayed your welcome. You can do it!

[JoyForever]

So sorry to hear that Stella. Mine was also emotional and psychological but thank God the council still believed and referred me. You can always call the Domestic Abuse Helpline which is open 24/7. I didn’t need to provide evidence; my word was enough.

[JoyForever]

Hi Stella,

I have lived in a refuge before. All I can say is that they do provide you a very safe space and will give you room to breathe. There is support and advice in place, which will give you time to think on what to do next. There is no pressure and the decision will be up to you.

I am a single woman with no kids, so I can’t give you specific advice on some matters. However, I have seen many women with children come to the refuge and there are rules in place to enable a peaceful environment.

Please feel free to ask any questions. Going to a refuge can be daunting but for me it was the best decision. I have been given a place on my own and have started full-time work. I am now free from all the abuse that I suffered – it feels so good to go and leave home in peace!

[JoyForever]

Thanks! I’m okay here in the forum. This is my first place on my own. It’s a housing association so a social landlord. Bills will be up to me.

I feel pressured and rushed to leave refuge. There are empty flats here yet I’m told I take up space.

I just need a little more time to get my move sorted.

[JoyForever]

Hi IWMB,

Thank you for response. I told the refuge that I won’t move until I have furniture on. First time doing bills, don’t know what’s involved.

The new place is a bedsit thus doing flooring now would be the best. Will have to sign on Monday as I won’t get another offer.

I will contact our MP. I really need help.

[JoyForever]

Thanks for your response. They call themselves WA but they are not associated with the official WA. I have done a lot of things by myself and many days there would be no staff all leaving us to fend for ourselves.

All I hear is that I am taking up space and need to move while they are empty flats in here. I can’t afford a double rent so will have to move out. If there is at least a bed and a fridge, that’d be sufficient to start with. It’s saddening that we are put in this situation.

[JoyForever]

Hi,

I’ve stayed in a refuge for months but I know some have stayed 2 years. It depends on the refuge and your council. Where I live, there is a high demand of housing. It was hard for me as a single woman not being seen as a priority need. But now, with Covid- 19, I have unexpectedly been offered a property.

Refuge is alright- the main point is that you are safe and you have time to clear your moind. The support in my refuge has not been great but I know many are great. Just take your own initiative if needed and reach out to all the help that is out there.

[JoyForever]

Hi,

I was just offered a property by a housing association, so I know that we are considered as a urgent need to be moved. How is it going?

[JoyForever]

Thanks Fizzylem. I know it’s really bad. I am homeless and it’s too expensive to stay in a refuge. I currently get support from WA ‘No woman turned away’ project; they are trying to contact the manager from yesterday but she hsn’t got back to them. They were even lied to by my local WA saying my refuge workers are on holiday which is untrue! It is WA speaking to WA; why the secrecy?

I am not on the waiting list as I have not lived long enough. I will be in February though; they might still say I can’t because I live in a different borough but it is still a refuge!

There are no helpful organisations in where I live, which is a shame

[JoyForever]

I agree with Landy. I’m a childless woman living in a WA refuge. Speak to the helpline and emphasize the support you need. Unfortuneately, I live in a refuge where there is not much support- so please emphasize your support needs.

Refuge is good, it’ll give you the surety of safety and space to breathe and recover. When away from your partner, you should be able to claim benefits as an individual.

I have to make you aware that it can be harder for childless women to be rehoused. Make sure your staff is aware of the vulnerability test that single women are likely to be subject to when making a homeless application. Then you’ll be able to provide evidence and the support letter from the refuge is in your favour.

It is harder for us single women but support is there. Keep reaching out until you get a respone of support. Don’t give up

[JoyForever]

Council says I am not priority need, in other words, I am not vulnerable enough. I am a DV survivor and to be told this is absolutely disgusting. In Wales, you are getting rehoused without question but here…

[JoyForever]

I did today and will do with the manager. No, I don’t. How can I access one?

[JoyForever]

Yes, I have. My solicitor will be in touch with with the GP. Shelter has been very helpful. The only ones who are guiding me. Still, havinv no support from my refuge is getting to me. All I receive is silence.

[JoyForever]

Hi KIP,

That’s what I thought but it turns out that having fled DV does not make single women like me automatically priority need (unless you have children). I have to prove my vulnerability as they compare us to “the ordinary person if made homeless”.

I have no support in my refuge- no one is advocating for me, including manager. I’m doing it all by myself- now getting legal advice. It’s affecting me so badly. I thought I’d get all the support I need but never knew I’d struggle this much.

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