lostandbroken

[lostandbroken]

Aww thank you ladies, xxx

[lostandbroken]

Aww thanks for your lovely words it really means a lot.

Just feeling a lot of the baby blues at the moment, his world wins friendship is greatly missed but It was all an act, I guess ‘love bombing’. Sucked me right in, but I’m not feeling the romance of it, he was just really kind and supportive never left my side.

We had a meeting at my home, his third patty and my third party here too to come up with some plans for the children. He literally never stopped his abuse in front of them. Told me he thinks I was u see the illusion that I wanted him back, I think more like he was waiting for me to cave and tell him I love him. No chance would I ever give him that satisfaction.
Then had the nerve to ask can we do a deal on child support 😂

He’s showing me his true colours time and time again, and it’s now time to believe it for myself and now the pressure of birth is out the way I can now fully recover and move forward.

Xx

[lostandbroken]

Thank you both for your support, I really do appreciate it.

I’m going to give it one go, I’m not having him at the house I’m meeting him in a public place. I have no fear that he would refuse to return my daughter, he wouldn’t be able to live his single life otherwise.

No I don’t have an order in place I’ve been trying to avoid anymore difficulties to my daughter. If today is a flop and I find myself head mushy again I will revaluate the situation and use family for third contact.

I’m hoping I can handle the situation with courage and confidence, if this proves difficult I will stop the contact again.

And hazy days no I haven’t had the baby yet, but not long to go xx

[lostandbroken]

My third party explained the situation and informed him I have unblocked him for child only contact. He did message to ask for a couple of specifics for our child’s day with him, and said her hopes me and baby are ok. I have researched the grey rock method, which I responded with using that. And that’s how I plan to continue.

It would make sense for me to use another third party, but I’m putting my child’s interest at best, it’s already weird for her I don’t want to make it anymore weird by passing her from pillow to post.

He’s been cooperative through third party And has been warned that if he starts any games or be insensitive he will he blocked again.
I also plan to have family around me when he drops her off. I hope this will work out this way round xx

[lostandbroken]

Not a couple of days, a couple of weeks x

[lostandbroken]

Sorry shapes and sizes x

[lostandbroken]

He is a fantastic father I have to admit, and i get that, he may have a soul and be going through his crap too, I don’t know. My third party has given him a kick up the back side and told him the troubles I am having with his child so he’s stepped up, a bit.
I’m still zero contact and will remain that way until I am strong enough.

The way I am forcing myself to see it now is families And homes come in all different shoes and sizes. My family is a mixture of friends and other family members. She is becoming a lot more settled and we spend a lot of time with these people. My home is not broken anymore because I am becoming stronger by the day. And I am forcing myself to look ahead on a brighter note, hoping to book a holiday with the family after lock down and definitely one for next year. Move home etc. It’s baby steps for now but having a little something to look forward to is helping. Xx

[lostandbroken]

Balloons I’m just mentally and physically exhausted with it all. I’ve been getting out everyday to keep myself busy I think I’m over doing it now.

Hazy I’m so sorry you went through that, how devastating for you and your children 💔

I look at her and just cry, mornings she looks for him in the lounge (because he stopped coming to bed he slept on the couch)‘where are you daddy’ That breaks me! He’s giving her (detail removed by moderator) hours a week, that also upsets me. When he split with his other daughters mum there was a huge deal about the child, always has been. Don’t understand why it’s not happening with our (detail removed by moderator) year old!! She deserves nothing but the best, she’s just so cute and she’s missing out on her daddy! X

 

 

[lostandbroken]

I don’t know he’s being amicable through them, playing the ball in my court. X

[lostandbroken]

I am on zero contact, I have him blocked on everything. I haven’t seen or spoke to him since he left. We have been communicating through my third party for contact with his daughter. X

[lostandbroken]

I arrived home from work and everything he wanted to take has gone. Everything was tided Fixed and cleaned perfectly, I immediately fell apart as I saw this as a mark of respect for me and his child / unborn child. He must have spent all day doing it as the jobs were huge. He did have to enter the property which was previously agreed, so I know he’s seen that I’ve removed all of our photos from the aroun the home.

I feel so sad this morning, didn’t sleep at all last night. I miss him so much 💔

[lostandbroken]

I too am in your position, he wasn’t always abusive I fact quite the opposite he was amazing. But he had a nasty side and it came out in front my children, name calling and culver swearing. It didn’t take much to make him explode either. He has been violent in the passed, but that stopped after a police charge, then came the verbal and emotional abuse. He was an alcohol and drug abuser, it was when he was drinking he became nasty and violent, or until he had his first smoke in the morning.

Away from that, he was Lovely to me and the kids.

Until one day after an argument he left and totally discarded me. This part is soul destroying for me, as I kind of resent him for his quick discard because I’d forgiven and settled for so much throughout the relationship. I am heavily pregnant also. Take each day as it comes, we will recover x

[lostandbroken]

Woke up with the same rubbishy sick anxious feeling, whilst processing everything that’s happening. He’s coming to collect the rest of his stuff this week, and to repair some damages he’s done to the house during some of his rages.

I think once his stuff has gone, then he has no reason to be lingering around. My neighbour will have the key and watch what he’s doing and I will be out of the way whilst it’s happening.

Once this is finally done he has no reason to come back. I’ve cleansed the house of him, nothing of his face anywhere now and replaced with photos of me and my daughters and family.

I feel physically sick and shaking, I hope this passes soon.

I have chosen to return to work at the office, it will be made safe for me and my little one will be with family so she is perfectly safe too, I need this for my sanity. X

[lostandbroken]

I am certainly craving the fantasy of the family life he promised to give me right at the beginning when we found out we were having our first child together. Little did I know I wasn’t the only girl in his life at the time. He’s put me through so much!! Physical, emotional, verbal and financially abusive. Not only that, came the betrayal! He’s such a catch isn’t he!! He’s now playing the calm cool collection guy to my 3rd party, saying it’s for the best (which it is)! But why does he get to do what he’s done and be the one to say that? No heart whatsoever! X

[lostandbroken]

Every morning I wake up with the anxious realisation of what’s going on and sets me off all day. I have my tablet around 5 as it’s still settling in and making me yucky, so I’m nice and relaxed by bed time. But god I miss him so much! X

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