lostgal

[lostgal]

I’m so sorry that yous have to go through this too its not a nice feeling at all! KIP I was concerned that I have got PTSD and have been putting off talking about it as I feel like the list of things wrong with me is getting bigger! but today I was brave I’ve made an appointment to speak to my doctor about these issues and see if she thinks its PTSD and if it is if she can help!
Colouringinfairy and Fudgecake I’m sorry to hear that you’s experience this too because I know how scary the dreams can be or the fear of him turning up. My therapist has referred me to a domestic abuse thing but unfortunately that means I am no longer under her care so technically I don’t have a therapist anymore. Unfortunately when I’m in that moment and I fear someone looks like him and the memories come back its a downward spiral and I honestly don’t know what will help if anything.
You’s are very right they have no business being in our heads anymore we are free so he needs to leave every part of me! I just hope it doesn’t take that long to get there as it’s a struggle to cope right now 🙁

Thanks for your responses you are all amazing ladies and I can’t thank you enough. I hope we can all be happy and free one day we deserve that at least! Hope you’s are doing okay as well!
lots of love
lostgal xox

[lostgal]

Hi Put the kettle on
KIP is right these people should trust you if they’re you true friends and you’ll learn who is and isn’t throughout this horrible process unfortunately! You know these rumours aren’t true and the lies that have been spread and as my mam always used to say if you know the truth and family that loves you that’s all that matters!! Don’t feel alone because of these horrible rumours we are all here for you and the people in your life who love you will be too!
Don’t let them drag you down, keep talking and keep activate
lots of love
lostgal xox

[lostgal]

Hi colouringinfairy
This is amazing news I’m thrilled for you fingers crossed this is a turning point! You deserve your freedom and he deserves his took away!
Such a strong beautiful women
lots of love
lostgal xox

[lostgal]

Hi you wonderful women
I’m lost for words really but I really want to thank yous for the amazing support from you all. I always feel very low but its been a dark and bleak few days alone with my own thoughts and unfortunately for me also his are creeping there. I haven’t recently spoke to my GP but I do have a therapy session very soon which I will explain what’s been going on! I understand it takes a while but it’s already been a while and I don’t how much longer I can cope like this. I also don’t know what can be said to me to fix/ heal the broken pieces he’s left behind. I guess I’m struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. Your kind words help so much because it gives a glimmer of hope that his words are wrong and hopefully they’ll F**k off one day but unfortunately they seem to be hanging on. I wish I could see you’s all face to face to really express how grateful and thankful I am to have you helping and supporting me on this god awful journey, to give you a big hug and tell you’s how F***king amazing you’s are!!! (but I guess my thanks and appreciation will have to do on here unfortunately)
Thank you, you have given me some faith and hope in humanity
Love with all the heart (all the broken pieces)
Lostgal xox

[lostgal]

AlwaysSorry
I am currently on medication for my anxiety and depression while also receiving CBT therapy as well. I have noticed the medication levels me out more but I still massively dip at night when I have time to think and those horrible thoughts and his words creep into my head again. Or the memories of the past crop up and I spiral and end up not sleeping. I know things will take time but its already been a while I’m trying hard to keep the hope but right now I’m struggling to cope with it all! I’m trying to stay focused on positive things but nothing seems to fill the empty void that the abuse has left I lost apart of myself and I don’t know how to cope and be happy without it.
Imsosad
You’ve summed it perfectly it is a gaping wound left by his abuse!! I ask myself why all the time and blame myself and it takes a lot of me to try to force these thoughts to the back of my mind. Your so strong don’t let him get to you, you’re not to blame. He does deserve all that what goes around comes around! Although I feel lonely I realise I’m not we have all each other on here, family and friends support! It is such a shame we are all over because a coffee morning with all you’s would be amazing. But least we have each other on here!
Thanks for all the support you’s are wonderful ladies xx
love n hugs
lostgal xx

[lostgal]

Imsosad
I’m sending my love and positive thoughts to you! I’ve had a bad day too so I know how you’re feeling but we’ll get there together. WE CAN DO THIS!
Love n Hugs <3
lostgal xx

[lostgal]

Imsosad
I’m happy to hear you’re free hopefully from here things can only improve! Now he’s gone it can only get better now it’s time to focus on yourself and your own self care because you’re important! You’re amazing and should be proud of how strong you are!
Sending my love and support always 💜💜💜
Lostgal xx

[lostgal]

Imsosad
I feel the exact same! I would never let my friends go through what we’ve went through and I feel so weak at times for what I let him to do to me and don’t feel strong at all. But don’t think you’re an idiot he’s the idiot he’s the abuser!!
lostgal xx

[lostgal]

Imsossad I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with anxiety I know what that is like but I’m glad to hear you have a good support network around you which helps. It’s so lovely and comforting to hear how supportive everyone is on here and I know I shouldn’t blame myself but its hard to sometimes break the cycle when I start overthinking about the past and how its effected me. I know we are stronger for leaving and it won’t be the same after what we’ve suffered but I’m hoping one day I can get back to what I was or close enough. we can do this and we will together with love and support
love
lostgal xxx

[lostgal]

Icandothis
Im so sorry to hear the physical pain you were put through no one deserves to be treat like that, you deserve so much better! But you should be so proud for leaving him that’s a big step and a scary one but the best decision to make! You sound so strong and such a wonderful women I hope you never experience this again. You deserve happiness now he’s gone I do hope you will find that in a different person you deserve that! Be proud of yourself and stay strong. You’re amazing <3
support always here if you need it

love
lostgalxx

[lostgal]

Imsosad
You have every right to be upset its only normal but you’re strong and much stronger than he thinks!! You’ve been hurt and wronged by him and that’s cruel and unfair but you can survive and you will. As you’ve survived before without him. Yes it’ll be hard but surround yourself with good people family, friends, work colleagues, us! literally anyone but him. You haven’t failed him he failed you, you loved and give your all to someone no one could ask anymore of you. Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty it’s the worst thing to do I know myself because I do it, you start overthinking, blaming, the guilt creeps in and you start spiralling. Don’t distract yourself when anxiety hits or the guilt do something that makes you happy! start taking care of yourself and your wellbeing!!
support is always here
love
lostgal xx

[lostgal]

Imsosad
You should be so proud its hard initially cutting off all contact but it will really help in the long run! I don’t think we will ever get back to normal or I feel like I won’t but I know with time we will all heal and be stronger for it! The thoughts and feelings will fade and we will grow stronger and more beautiful each day with the support of everyone around us!
stay strong, keep talking
love
lostgal xxx

[lostgal]

BeautyMarked and Tiffany thanks for your response and advice. It’s so lovely to hear someone understands me and doesn’t think I’m as delusional as he made out to be I’m just sorry it meant you girls have went through something similar! 🙁 I am hoping therapy will help me cope better with his “voice” controlling me and that one day I can say to myself I know it wasn’t my fault and I am a good person. BeautyMarked my therapist did have similar thoughts about reporting his behaviour as she does believe there could be crime committed against me whether just through his threatening manner or potentially something more serious (My therapist is concerned that he potentially sexually assaulted me through his controlling behaviour) but I honestly don’t know yet what I want to do with that information yet I’m still processing it as its a massive shock to me! Tiffany I hope one day I can be as strong as you to be able to tell him to F**k off!! I also love your reference to the Japanese vases that is so beautiful made me smile! I just have days where I don’t feel strong and his thoughts and words engulf me and I think what’s the point he’s broke me.
I know deep down I will never be the same but I hope I can get to a point where I’m content with who I am, how I look and who I’ve become! I want to feel strong and confident again but baby steps.
Thanks for your kind words and advice its lovely to talk to someone about it.
you ladies are wonderful
love xx

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