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    • #136565
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      Participant

      Thank you

    • #132854
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      Participant

      Just to update – and sirry for the rant- but been to a solicitor and hopefully getting the ball rolling with what to do with selling etc.

      Hopefully he’ll move back to where he came from after we get a decision from the cps

    • #132815
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      Participant

      Hi I’m fairly new here too and have only just got out my abusive relationship so I totally understand the ‘you getting him out your head’ as I felt the same or do feel the same although it’s getting better day by day.

      We had great times together but the bad times were really bad and there was no way I could’ve stayed.

      The advice above from the others in the group is great and I’ve used it myself – on the waiting list for counselling and writing things down.

      Also I’ve tried to fill my days seeing friends that are there to support even if it’s just a brew or a chat and planning to do things with the kids – and they are great to take your mind off things.

      Someone said to me that you won’t get this time back to spend with your kids so put all your energy and focus into your son and yourself as Your ex is not worth all the tears, worrying and taking up your time in your mind.

      Take care – it will get better xx

    • #132495
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      Participant

      Thank you it means a lot to know I have support here also.

    • #132246
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      Participant

      I’m only recently out of my relationship – (detail removed by moderator), and it was a whirlwind relationship (detail removed by moderator).

      So I too have the same feelings – like if I hadn’t reacted the night that was the final straw would we have stayed together, would it have worked etc.

      But the other side of my brain is telling me that it would never have worked – him and his kids were against me all the time – that was never going to change – so if I put boundaries in place or saw any wrong in them he was on the defence and hitting out.

      Take the children out the equation and we got great, brilliant, romantic always touchy feely, telling me he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

      But now I know it’s trauma bonding – which is really hard to get your head around – I’m still trying.

      But I also have a picture of the final night of where he punched me & I’m covered in blood – another great reminder that I did the right thing.

      My kids need me – alive.

      I’m going to go for counselling through my work – but your GP would be able to set you on the right path. My GP has been great.

      And keep using the forum – this has been a great help to me.

      Take care

    • #132236
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      Participant

      He’s also kind of threatening my family –
      By saying(detail removed by moderator) – things I’ve told him in confidence.

      So now my mum has got in a mood with me!

      Feel like everything is falling apart!

    • #132199
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      Participant

      Think I’m just paranoid of what rubbish him and his kids are spreading about me.

      Although the small town we live in are mostly on my side and I have a lot of support.

      I’m also scared that the (detail removed by Moderator) won’t see it from my side and will see it from his he’s so manipulative.

    • #132172
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      Participant

      Thank you.

      They are just so annoying that they make out it’s you who’s the narcissist – that you’re to blame. That was controlling & manipulative!
      I hope people see through him?

      He’s posting quotes and pictures of him and his ex all over (detail removed by Moderator) (who I believe also got beaten by him) – all to wind me up I think?

      Says he was the one that left!
      Putting his kids first.
      His kids saw me beaten up and said I deserved it!

      I just hope he gets some justice.

    • #132151
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      Participant

      Thank you.

      I just find it a bit like grief – everything I do, everything I see and everything I do reminds me of him in some way.

      I’m trying to focus on my kids and a new future but it’s just hard.

      I have a lot of support and I know I’ll get there – but it’s difficult.

    • #132137
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      Participant

      Had a bad few days – crying and a bit down.

      Keep thinking that if we hadn’t argued that night everything would be back to normal and we would be living our more or less happy life and still have a future.

      But I think In my subconscious it wouldn’t have worked.

      It’s just soo hard to move on.

    • #132035
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      Participant

      Thank you both for your help.

      I just feel so stupid for falling for him and his stories.

      And it hurts to know that he’s back messaging women – even though he was meant to ‘love’ me.

      Really want justice to happen.

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