Starmoon

[Starmoon]

Thank you so much for everyone’s response… with most of it being removed- I’m grateful you’ve all still been able to understand it.
Since we have an official agreement in place.. but it allows for minor changes- which he interprets as- I should do what ever he asks and if I don’t- I’m unreasonable.
Everything he was saying in his messages at were things he used to say to me whilst we were together.. I need to grow up etc. there’s worse but I’m sure I can’t say it here.
I have to be seen in our messages to Facilitate almost everything he wants- because the powers that be (hopping I can post that) tend to side with these dads.
As someone else suggested above- I may tell him that I will now only be checking emails once a week (unless she’s with him) and then only responding if it’s urgent.

[Starmoon]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.. it’s so common for them to blame us.. and when we’re really deep into it all.. everything seems to consuming, feeling like everyone believes them.
In my experience, not everyone does- even if it feels that way. There will always be flying monkeys, but a lot of people can see what’s going on, even if they don’t speak up xx

[Starmoon]

I feel absolutely horrible… i think all the stress of my ex saying he was going to get me arrested re my previous post.., and I just wanted a perfect day with my kids because of all that… and it all went so wrong, I don’t want my partner walking on egg shells, I don’t want him feeling he can’t say things or make mistakes without me treating him the way my ex treated me… I don’t know how to explain it… at the time I felt so sure he was gaslighting me, but now I’m looking at it calmly, I don’t believe he would ever do that… it’s like I was trying to argue with my ex but doing it with him instead.

[Starmoon]

(detail removed by Moderator) It doesn’t make any sense.. she asked so many questions but when I answered she said that wasn’t him. I didn’t argue with her. Does make me wonder why, If their relationship was/is so good- then why ask me for contact and not just see her whilst she’s with him. So far I’ve heard nothing from the police… so either they’re currently busy or they aren’t going to do anything anyway

[Starmoon]

I don’t think I’d have any grounds to get that sort of order unfortunately… the police never even gave him so much as a slap on the wrists for the things he did to me… I really wouldn’t put it past them trying to make an example of me and arrest me for this

[Starmoon]

Thank you for your reply Kip. It’s hard to explain as I can’t be specific… my business is location based, I can’t easily move it and can’t afford to just give up… it’s successful and I’m so grateful of that… so I don’t want to just walk away. I unfortunately won’t be getting maternity because it’s my own business. I feel like my only option is to shut myself away where I work- as if I would if I worked somewhere else. My mum says she likes helping and has said that if I put the children in childcare, it would feel like I was punishing her… so I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. X

[Starmoon]

So sorry for the many mistakes… I’m dyslexic. I hope you can make sense of it

[Starmoon]

Thank you for your reply. He’s made lots of threats to make allegations to the social services and all of the other insults. I’ve had such horrible experience with the ss in the past, they tended to believe and side with him and I’m just dreading everything that this is going to drag up. I’ve tried so hard to avoid this. My now my daughter loves him and I don’t want her to suffer by not seeing him.. but I want her to be safe. X

[Starmoon]

Thank you so much for your response. I don’t think I could contact the police unfortunately… he added that they were ‘being washed’ as they were dirty… but this is another dig.. they were clean on when she arrived at his, he made her change as soon as she arrived… so there’s no reason for them to need washing…
She’s not there that regularly so it will be a wait until she’s with him again.

[Starmoon]

Thank you. I’m sorry if I came across as rude. I just felt frustrated as I want to talk and get out what he does.. but I cantz I do understand that keeping posters safe is the most important thing x

[Starmoon]

It’s so frustrating that most if not not all of our posts get deleted. I stopped posting for a long time because it doesn’t seem to matter how much I tiptoe around things- everything gets deleted. I do understand it’s a public forum and people need to be kept safe… but wish there was a way to wave our anonymity so that we could get the support we sometimes desperately need… perhaps I’m only speaking for myself.. I just feel so alone and always have.
It’s like I’m not even allowed to talk about what he’s done or still does. He wins always.

[Starmoon]

Thank you so much for responding… I think I’m most annoyed at myself.. I’ve given in and lost my way with it all. I’m completely in a new life but I feel dragged back by his when ever he has our child. He was demanding I let her call him because he’d been unable to see her for his regular weekend (since he was (detail removed by Moderator)).
He then got angry and sent many long msgs explaining why it shouldn’t have taken me so long to get back to him and he could see id read his msgs… I was (detail removed by Moderator) and despite him being (detail removed by Moderator)- it wasn’t life threatening or urgent.
But if i didn’t facilitate a phone call ((detail removed by Moderator)) he’d have slated me to our child the next time he saw her. It’s like he can say and do what he likes still.
I have to keep responding so I’m not seen as being unreasonable. It’s exhausting being at his beck and call still.

[Starmoon]

There’s no non mol and he already sees our child. It was her asking if she could see her (detail removed by moderator).

[Starmoon]

In her messages she did nothing but sing his praises and I didn’t argue or disagree, I just answered some of the things she asked me, and said (detail removed by moderator).

[Starmoon]

Thank you so so much for your reply! I hadn’t even considered that this could be classed as entrapment. (detail removed by moderator) She went on to ask for contact and said how much her and her children missed her.
(detail removed by moderator)… I realise I shouldn’t have done now. She just asked me a lot of questions.. I tried not to give too much detail and when I realised that he obviously hadn’t been abusive towards her, I tried to cut the conversation off.

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