Wisewords

[Wisewords]

Hi. I left again too !! I know how you feel – it’s so confusing and overwhelming isn’t it. Hold it together and have faith in your legal team. You will get there. It’s just time xx

[Wisewords]

KIP what a fantastic response. Explained some things for me too. Thank you.

[Wisewords]

Hello everyone- hope you have all had a good week. I have struggled somewhat all week. I can’t quite come to terms with how I allowed my ex husband treat me for all them years. I always knew he was verbally abusive as there was always name calling. Not all the time but enough to get me down. That’s what I find hard – it wasn’t all the time. I stuck up for him all the time. I never came first. Our family never came first. When we argued I was always a bitch, whore, c——-, fridgid, butch looking lesbian. Just disgusting. At the time I used to brush it off but now I’ve got away, it seems to have magnified. I remember once I done something to upset him and he kicked me repeatedly at the back of my hip. The whole area around my but cheek and hip was black and purple for weeks. I left some clothes out of the wardrobe one and he went nuts and turned the bed upside down when I was lying in it and started hitting me with a stick. He also pushed me really hard against a wall twice and punched my back when in bed. This all happened years ago. I left a few times but ended up going back. The violence stopped but the mind games started and they went on for some years and the name calling never stopped. Then came the house rules – lists of them. If you didn’t adhere to them you knew all about it. I’m out of it now but it’s early days. I can’t get my head around why he is not remotely remorseful. There was no empathy ever. Is it normal for me to be feeling like this. My friend said I have been living with control for so long I don’t know how to live without it. Your advice and comments would be appreciated xx

[Wisewords]

The truth will always come out in the end – and you will shine like a star xx

[Wisewords]

Hi Cecile. Stay strong. I have had similar with financial situation- private message me if you wish xxx

[Wisewords]

Hi Landy. I’m new to this site so just finding my way around. I feel for you I really too. I had much of the same for such a long time. I found I put up with it for so long in the end I thought it was normal. Until the day it happened in public and I seen the look on people’s faces. I stayed until my children were older but now I have regrets for staying and wonder if they were affected by it.

If you want a private chat – just message and take care x

[Wisewords]

Hi everyone

My husband literally abandoned me on a night out because I fell over drunk, banged my head and knocked myself unconscious. I very rarely drink. He left me (detail removed by moderator) in a strange place which was also quite remote with no money but there were people I did not know looking after me. He told me the following day I did not have the right to expect him to stay at my side ?? This has completely side bombed me and I left because it was the catalyst. He will not have this is abuse or neglect. He tells me I’m the one that abused him ?? Work that one out !

[Wisewords]

Awwww bless you. I have been through and going through something similar. My husband didn’t have affairs (as far as I am aware) but he did so many other things that just rocked me to my core. How are you managing emotionally? I have not long joined this site so am still finding my way around. Do you have a support network of friends and family ? I found throwing myself into work helps. If you need anyone to talk to drop me a line. Take care. Your better off without the crap but it takes ages before we realise xx

[Wisewords]

Hi fizzylem.

It’s not easy in any sense of the word is it. Your situation obviously became intolerable. I feel for you having been in temporary accommodation trying to fight this. I hope you are at the end of your awful journey. Hopefully when you get a more permanent home you can lay your roots and be happy. Ever night I go to bed and I just live being in that bed on my own. And I love waking up on my own. There’s nothing quite like it. It will be you soon enough fizzylem, just hold onto what you want and it will happen for you soon enough. Xx. Take care xx

[Wisewords]

Thank you for responding. Yes you are right. I have left and my children have grown up-albeit want very little to do with him. They have thrived since they left. It’s nice not to be blamed for everything – especially if his rules are not adhered to. I don’t miss him calling me vile names either. Or the shouting. The list goes on !!

How are you getting on since you left. How long did it take you to put it behind you and move on fizzylem.

[Wisewords]

Hi

I think this is abuse. I was with my husband for (removed by moderator) years – and it has taken me that long to finally realise he is verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive. He wasn’t like it all the time but the times he was totally blackened the good times. I can’t quite believe I have put up with it as long as I have. He says it’s my imagination and I’m the one that’s at fault cos I break all the rules. Xx

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