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[Animallover]

You are being so brilliant. all you need to think about is that you are now able to get on with your life without worrying that he’s going to hurt you anymore. He’s done the ultimate thing to manipulate you even from the grave so don’t let him have that satisfaction. You can now get on with the rest of your life. None of this was your fault. Please eat and get better day by day. Think about you only and ignore his family. You are the important one.

[Animallover]

Not been here for a while as he’s in that relatively “nice” stage at the moment. I know it won’t last but keep hoping. He has done something similar to me, kept asking what an ex friends husbands name was (I have no friends any more) I knew the answer but knew his reaction if I said it. Eventually he wore me down whilst in bed and I said the name. He was furious threw me naked out of the bed and said I must never get back in as I’d said another man’s name. I had to stand there shivering (it was winter) until he went to sleep and then could get back in. Know he won’t remember doing it but everything is adding up in my head and starting to wonder what I’m doing

[Animallover]

You are not making anything seem worse than it is. Think if you can you should ring the helpline and tell them everything he is doing. I don’t know much about drugs apart from alcohol so don’t want to say anything out of turn. Mine has just gone off in bad mood as he took his phone for dog walk and made out that I was paranoid even though he was the one sexting another woman and arranging meetings with her. He says I treat him like a child but that’s how he behaves. Let me know how you get on tomorrow as it’s now difficult to talk. I’ll be thinking of you. Not that that helps much

[Animallover]

Try to keep your friends as eventually I lost all of mine and would think it really important that you have someone to talk to especially with the added stress of a disabled child. It must be tough. Hope you can talk to them although I feel sometimes it’s better to send messages like this than talk face to face and am not sure if anyone else understands how bad things can get

[Animallover]

Hi just hope that talking about it helps. It had done with me. I have no friends any more and dont talk to my family either. I get very lonely and depressed but he can’t understand that. He goes to work and talks to who he likes. Without getting into detail he had cheated on all his previous partners, mostly with work colleagues so why can’t he see this upsets me. The one he saw while with me, he says it’s over but who knows, she was at his work while he was with his previous partner and it carried on till recently. His only excuse was they had history! I don’t know how to deal with this any more. Imagine how me doing ( detail removed by moderator) gone down! I hope that you can sort out things but I know just having others in the same position doesn’t make me feel so alone

[Animallover]

There does seem to be more men out there like this than I thought. Imagined the extreme jealously thing was just him. He often accuses me of wanting/having an affair of wanting someone else. Can’t even look another man in the eye without him thinking I fancy them. He has even accused me of having affairs with his two adult sons when they come back from university. This is ridiculous as I look at them as my sons too. Found that most disturbing and distressing. my son had a friend round to play the other day and I was talking to the boy and my partner asked if he should be worried that I was talking to him! Know I can’t say their ages but they are at school! What does he think I am. He also is secretive of his phone even though he’s had an affair on and off for several years and I’ve seen the texts and photos they sent to each other even on mothers day when I was taking his parents home. It’s mainly drink with him but I think he’s got an addictive personality. Have talked to his parents today (the only people I have left) and his mum blames herself.

[Animallover]

I’m not allowed my own opinions he tells me to stop going on and to zip it. If I try to talk he completely blanks me and will refuse to talk about anything emotional. Not sure he has much emotion. If I don’t agree with him I’m called stupid or asked if I’ve heard of logic

[Animallover]

Thank you serenity for your reply. I know what he is doing. He’s now back to being loving and says he’ll do anything to make me happy. Just waiting for the next thing to go wrong which will set him off again. Usually the weekend when he can drink all day. Notice that a lot of women have the same problem. If I ask him not to drink he says it relaxes him and he’s stressed and hates his job but doesn’t make an effort to find another.

[Animallover]

Mine is also a great charmer as this is what got me in the first place. And he never says sorry for anything. Constantly asking me questions like do I love him, is he fat (he once was anorexic) does he look old, is he lazy, is he bad at his job, he can ask these over and over every day. I have to say I love him and no to everything else or he gets angry and moody. It really wears me down. His jealousy is so ridiculous that I laughed at a comedian last night on TV and he said I must fancy the man! I think I’ll give up watching TV at all as he always thinks I fancy any bloke on TV and won’t let it go. But he’s in charge of remote. If I watch something and he comes in he immediately changes the channel. Have no control of my life any more. Can’t even go to my son’s school to see him perform assemblies or parent night as there will be men there.

[Animallover]

I get ignored for days or he just says nasty things to me. I try to explain how I’m feeling but he tells me to shut it and that he doesn’t care about me or love me. I say I’m leaving and he says thank God for that and if I don’t go then he will knowing that I can’t pay for anything. He’s told his mum that I can’t leave as I have nowhere to go. Not sure how I stand as not married and house not in my name. After days of being horrible he then turns the other way and is loving again. doesn’t seem to realise how it affects me long term. I’m exhausted as don’t sleep well and haven’t for months. He was like this with all his other women and cheated on all of them too like he has me. It is helping that I’m not the only one and I can say these things to all of you without people thinking I’m crazy. He’s told me that I am mentally unstable cos most days I cry. Just want him to love me and stop hurting me

[Animallover]

He is very crafty as I would imagine that most people he knows or works with think he’s lovely. When his mum rang the other day I was just dishing up my son’s dinner so said I would be just a minute. He was furious that I didn’t do what he wanted immediately, his mum would have understood that I didn’t want food to get cold. He shouted the house down and called me a t**t in front of my son and stepson. What I’m going to do if I have not been deferred from jury service which I probably won’t be. He’ll be impossible to live with. Can’t even acknowledge other drivers for moving aside as he gets jealous of that!

[Animallover]

Think that you have been so brave. Have been thinking about you all through the night. No one deserves to be treated like that. If a stranger had done it they would be arrested immediately so just because he’s your husband why should he be treated differently. Don’t give up now as you have crossed the first most difficult point. Just remember we are all thinking about you.

[Animallover]

Try to be strong. You seem in a really horrible situation but please try to remember that you are not alone and there are people who can help and understand what you are going through. You really must get out as soon as you can. Please contact the helpline I’m sure they can suggest what you can do and where you can go. Anywhere must be preferable to what you are dealing with now. Please believe everyone is behind you xx

[Animallover]

Dogs back so he’s all nicey nicey again but I’m not that stupid even though he tells me I am every day. I feel that I’m getting stronger day by day like I used to be. Not putting up with this much longer

[Animallover]

Where do I go. I have no friends or family thanks to him. Not allowed to talk to any man, even those partners of my old friends and sister so have lost contact. Am frightened as have no job as had to give that up too due to his jealousy. So stressed and tired all the time, always putting a foot wrong in his eyes but he knows I have no where to go so he’ll treat me like this until it suits him otherwise.

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