Enoughsenoughs

[Enoughsenoughs]

Thank you for all the information. I feel completely drained and have cried more then I ever have in my life he makes my life a living hell I hate him more than I’ve ever hated anyone no matter what I do it’s never enough. He twists everything I say or do. He uses my children to get what he wants and even says things like they love there dad that’s why they came back to me. I can’t see another out I done it I had a house money in the bank and I went back to him I have every up and I’m back to where I was but properly worse. Im at an all time low at the minute and just don’t no what to do I can’t do another (detail removed by Moderator) years when my daughter will be old enough I really do feel like a little lost child who just needs rescuing xx

[Enoughsenoughs]

Please don’t let him pull you back in I left my abusive alcoholic husband who funny enough hasn’t had a drink since as he is a changed man until something don’t go his way and then I look at him and he still has that same look in his eye,what he betrays on the outside is different to the look that comes from deep with in his soul. I left my husband for the first time (detail removed by moderator) ago and the same as you he promised to change and made all the right noises and stayed away from the drink I went back and for 6 months it was amazing I feel back In love with him and then the drink started up slowly again and then picked up pace untill it took over again and I had to get the courage to leave for a second time this time the pattern has started again with all the promises in the world but I’m never going to fall for it again always remember one thing if you go back, at some point you will be punished for leaving in the first place so it will be even worse. stay free and live your life your worth more than being someone’s door mat xx

[Enoughsenoughs]

Hi vivet
I have recently left a narcissist and went no contact for a few days but then my children wanted to see there daddy so I let them they now don’t want to come home to me as he is being super dad and buying them everything they are having the time of there life’s (I no it won’t last) but all though my heart is broken that my children don’t want to come home the feeling of being free from him is the best feeling in the world I’m hoping in time things will settle and the children will get into a routine he wants (detail removed by Moderator) custody so I’m hoping we can come to a agreement x

[Enoughsenoughs]

Hi so have very recently left my abusive relationship and I can sympathise with you I don’t no how I feel one minute I feel relieved the next I’m sobbing and feeling guilty for leaving and upsetting the children part of me thinks should I of stayed and just tried to cope with it the best I could and the other part of my couldn’t be a slave with designer hand bags, he used always tell everyone how he treated me so well and would buy me expensive gifts and everyone use tell me how lucky I was to have such a romantic loving husband lol little did they no that I was actually his slave who was so tired I didn’t no how to put one foot In front of the other anyway I’m out of it and hoping that each day gets a little bit easier and I don’t no how to get away from memories maybe I just need to come to terms with what he done and learn from it and never put myself or children in that situation again. I don’t no but I do completely no where your coming from and hopefully in time we will heal and be able to enjoy life again and get a happy simple life x

[Enoughsenoughs]

Hi so just a quick update I have a date I’m leaving and everything is now in place I’m so excited (and scared feel sick most of the time) but excited I’m going to get my life back and going to make happy memories with my children i have found that reaching out to different people and talking things through and seeing just how bad he really is has
given me the strength I need to be free I hate him so much for what he has done to me but most of all I hate him because I gave my heart 100% I gave up my family for him to just abuse me. But I can’t dwell on it and I’m not giving him any more of my time it’s now time for me and my little chicks to go and enjoy life and not let his miserable presence get in our way. For those of you who I scared about leaving get in touch with a out reach worker. Mine has been amazing and has helped to put alot of legal things in place with regards to the children she has also got a team going into my new accommodation to put safety equipment in and has but a marker on the house with police. for any of you have read my post I spent months reading on here thinking I wish I could be brave and strong so I can leave and the truth is we can all be brave and strong with the right support there really is 24hr support out there which I have used properly every minute of that 24hrs and just taking it through over and over again really dose make you stronger and come to terms with what we have and are going through there is light at the end of the tunnel so focus on it and don’t let him get in your way don’t give him anymore of your precious life reach out and get support. I will be back and fingers crossed the next time I post I will be free x

[Enoughsenoughs]

Thank you for all the reply’s it’s nice in a weird kind of way to no your not alone. I really have had enough now and I’m making plans to leave my mental health is being so affected and I hate him for the way he speaks and treats me. I also hate how he has no respect for anyone and that he believes he is always right. I have money in my bank that is both of ours so I’m taking my half and I’m planning on finding somewhere to live but going away and being un contactable for 2 weeks just get my head straight my outreach worker said I won’t get in trouble for taking the children out of school for a while. I’m worried how my teenage boy will react when I take him away and take his phone but I keep telling myself it’s not forever and I will be free and my children will experience a different life where mum is happy and we are free to do as we want when we want. I’m hoping I’m strong enough to get through it x

[Enoughsenoughs]

Well done you much feel so free. I’m still with my abuser but day dream all day how to become free. I speak to lots of helpline workers but just don’t have anywhere to currently go to and I’m worried I’m going to destroy my children if I leave x

[Enoughsenoughs]

Thank hou so much for your message it has made me cry ive been so alone for so long i gotgot what it was like to have people to talk to and share my feelings with i cant get o here much as its the weekend but will have more chance from tuesday. Reading your comments and stories really helps me wespescially when im have a tough day once again thank you x

[Enoughsenoughs]

Thank you bettertimesahead. Im worried about my youngest child as she is mine and his and also my son who is from a previous relationshio. My son loves him to bits and our littke girl loves her daddy so much. Im from a broken marriage and put alot of my emotion into my children im scared im going to destroy them if i leave him and they will resent me. I no they probley wont but im just so lost and confussed i just dont what to do im just so tired x

[Enoughsenoughs]

Im new and fiund rhus post and was so shocked how alike they are here my husbands behaviour.
Behaviour
People think he is laid back and easy going.
He is different in front of people than he is at home.
He glares at me and breathes heavily through his nose when he’s angry.
He rarely asks people about themselves.
He is always right.
He talks over me.
He can twist what I’m saying in a second so I start wondering if I have misheard. Yes! His phrase is “that’s not what happened”
When I’m talking, he walks off, he does something else, plays on his phone, does something repetitive. Doesn’t answer me or daydreams.
He can sometimes be happy or sometimes in a bad mood, it can change quickly.
He is angry. He shouts. He swears.
He is clever
He thinks he is better than other people. Other people are always idiots-no compassion for others, sometimes shows delight when things go wrong for others-especially if he perceives they have wronged him before-holds grudges.i think I’m now the person he bares a grudge with and a big reason why I don’t feel I can be me.
He gets angry with other drivers.
He treats me buys me gifts then puts in on facebook so everyone can say hiw winderful he is and hiw lucky i am to have such a winderful loving husband.
He is secretive.

He is always accusing me of
Being cold and lacking affection
Being uninterested in him
Complaining
Always being wrong
Always starting arguments- My mood affects him negatively
Being Lazy-should exercise more (to help me feel happier about myself of course)
Being too emotional or over sensitive.
Being like my mum

Emotions
If I cry he cuedles me ans gets sexually aroused
T
He won’t talk about feelings.saye come on pull yourself togerher you have gor me i love you and as always will get you though it as im the only ibe who evee dose.
He is angry.
He denies our feelings.
He doesn’t celebrate my achievements.
He tells me he’s miserable and has thought about driving off the toad to end it all.
He doesn’t believe I’m intimidated by him because I’ve got cross with him before.
If he feels he’s won A row he smirks

Control

He is not interested in anything I do.

He doesn’t like my friends (I only gave a few very old ones I rarely see. Others haven’t stuck around , he is rude about them.
He doesn’t like my family, he is rude about them.

Physical
He dise do the cooking as dosnet like my cooking and if i cook him a meal he turns his nose up at it
Very really cleans if he dose pick up the hoover i should be sooooo greatful as its a womwns job
He says I/they make him do it.

Sex
He always wants sex and says a good argyment makes great sex. He wants sex if im crying it turns him he says stop crying look what it dise to me.
He watches porn.

Timeline
There were red flags – I didn’t see them, I didn’t know to see them. Rages and control, knowing better, not listening to others opinions, loosing friends.
After every commitment I made it got worse not better.
My world is smaller.
My friends are fewer.
My confidence is less.
My lines are more.
My finances are less.
I am literally a shadow of my former self.

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