Fairylady

[Fairylady]

Wow, thats horrific that you went through that. You are so strong for getting through it all though. Thankyou for the advice, luckily I have a friend in the police and she is looking at what can be done about it for me now.
I’m lucky to have the support I’ve got
Thankyou so much Darcy, you sound like an amazing woman x

[Fairylady]

Thankyou, I will enquire at the local women’s aid and my gp and see what I can do. Thqnkyou for the support, its really hard and I just hope im strong enough to stay gone. After messages saying that I’m playing the victim and that he does nothing wrong. Then says I’m lucky the last indicent didn’t go further because he’s not sorry and its my fault. It makes you question everything. I hate that he has so much power over me and I dont feel i can control it.

I will go to the womens aid and GP and see what avenues I can take and good idea on the journal, I try keeping a list to remind me of everything too

Thankyou

[Fairylady]

I’m glad you sent yourself some flowers! You deserve them!
Enjoy them 😊

[Fairylady]

Thankyou ladies, I’ve really struggled today. Debated going back but instead I have cried and walloped and stayed in. I have spoken to him and he has tried to make it like I left because apparently he came round and I wasn’t in (detail removed by Moderator). I didnt leave the house, so I know he’s lying. He has tried saying its my fault and I have argued but realised that I was rising to it and thats probably what he wants. Saying that he doesn’t want me even though I havent said I want to. I know that’s a way to goad me into saying why? Why don’t you want me? I want uou back ect. I have thought about saying it but haven’t.
I’m struggling but I am doing my best. I feel broken atm

[Fairylady]

Hi guys, just in the back of this, has anyone had the experience of their partner calling them by other womens names cause they find it funny?
My partner will call me by different women’s names and expect me to answer. I personally don’t think its funny and I have spoken to him and asked him why he does it, he just says he finds it funny.
Has anyone else had this?

Thanks

[Fairylady]

Thankyou all so much for your advice, its helped massively. I didnt think he had but I always question myself and what is best to do and where to go to advice.

Thankyou all again, im sure there will be an outburst sure enough and I plan on leaving soon as I dont want to feel like this anymore.

I’m angry at myself for letting it get to this, I used to be such a strong person and now I feel like nothing x

[Fairylady]

i stayed at home again, and hes text me this morning asking what the score is with me and him.
he says i should take a few days to think about what i want. i dont know what i want.
on one hand i think he might be changing and i might be losing someone i love, on the other, i think that things might not change and that i will gradually have no family or friends or social life because he goes mad, i will have to do as he has asked and reset my social media to flaunt im with him.
i really dont know what to do and i dont want to hurt him if i say we are over, but is it wrong me not giving him a chance?

[Fairylady]

Wow, that sounds like a lot of strength you had to do that! You are an amazing person for getting through that!

[Fairylady]

Is it abuse though? He hasn’t been bad for a long time so it seems like he’s changed. Maybe he has actually grown from it? X

Thankyou, I do really appreciate the support from everyone here x

[Fairylady]

Ive looked at that before, i think I’m worried about being alone, would life actually be better alone? I’m trying, continuing to text is one of the issues, but i can’t bring myself to block him.
I have done that just now, lit bedroom candles and
Getting cosy with a film.

Hes still texting me, how did you guys do this?

Thankyou all

[Fairylady]

How can I do that though? Im sat upset, heart breaking thinking how I can fix it and how I can make it up to him. Trying to stop myself from driving round and begging for him

[Fairylady]

just on the back of this, im still unsure if it even is abuse, he is lovely sometimes but then there are the big blow blow ups where he will hurl abuse at me or throw things.
thinking on it, its just little things now, he will playfully slap me in the face and say i need to lighten up, or tell his kids that im a gimp. he has little jokes that i dont find funny like calling me other womens names when he calls me.
i dont see these as that bad, not in comparison to how they used to be anyway.
he will also look after me when im poorly or if im not feeling well, but then say things like after ive everything hes done that i owe him. i get accused of messaging other men, so i got rid of all social media, then got told that i was hiding the relationship because i did it, when it was to stop being accused.
he doesnt like me going out with friends or even texting them, he says i have too much time for them, i never go on nights out though, i mean like going for lunch or a walk – generally with my best friend and god daughter. im ot allowed male friends either, thats a big no no, however becasue i have a close knit group of girls, he says im a lesbian and that its weird that im that close. even with all this, isnt this just the crappy bits of a relationship that everyone has to deal with? is it just a case of suck it up and carry on, my family and friends all say i need to get out and that he is manipulative and abusive, which he did used to be, but its no where near as bad as he used to be.

[Fairylady]

he also said i need to (detail removed by moderator) i felt like i was being scorned by my dad, im sore everywhere at the moment, he did also threaten to smack me in the face when i tried stopping him from throwing my stuff – he said (detail removed by moderator) i wouldnt have cared if it wasnt my work computers, i really dont know what to do with this. is it me? i dont feel like i want to be here anymore.

[Fairylady]

thankyou both, he has been worse the last few days nand then tried playing nice after amusing me of seeing someone else when I went to a family members for a birthday. I know i can get out. I need to, its making me ill and I feel like im going crazy being here. He knows that I’m distant, as today he has been nothing but lovely and kind and loving and I havent given anything back, I wont fall into the trap again. I cant.
Thankyou both for the kind words.
The people on here are so supportive and empowering and knowing that so many others can leave and do it, i can do it too.
He won’t be my future. I know i can do it, and i know I can be strong. Now it’s just getting the courage to actually do it without worrying about what happens after.
Thankyou again x

[Fairylady]

Thankyou all do much for you kind words and advice.

It got bad again last night and (detail removed by moderator) ended with him smashing cups and glasses in a rage because my dad has asked me to help (detail removed by moderator) for the day.

I need to get out, i know i will get the strength to do it. Thankyou all so much

 

 

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