GrumbleBear

[GrumbleBear]

I totally get this!! there are some things I know he will complain about now re childcare so i organise people to have the kids and then he acts surprised and like he would have them without a bother! I know if I were to ask him, it would be such a drama!

The constant shifting of the goalposts is to keep you on your toes so you never know what to expect!!

[GrumbleBear]

I can’t give any more advice than what has already been said but didn’t want to read and run!

Please take care and keep safe 💜

[GrumbleBear]

The kids all wanted to go out and play so I just let them and pottered around the house. Didn’t know when he’d be home, what mood he’d be in. Not sure how much I can say but he came back fine, like nothing had happened, had a great day with pictures to show and everything. I’ve still barely spoken to him as i’m too angry and holding a bit of a grudge (does that make me as bad as him?) He went to bed but came through to get something but we had ran out and it was my fault we didn’t have what he wanted when he wanted it.

[GrumbleBear]

Well after this, he hasn’t spoken to me at all, complete silent treatment. We were supposed to have a day out as a family but he decided he couldn’t be bothered with us today (said as much to our children) and has gone out himself. No idea where or when he’ll be back so now I just have to wait and hope he comes home in a better mood.

[GrumbleBear]

Yes!! This is me too! Also started with wearing what I want, doing make up, going out and socialising!! And when he asked if I’m going out or something, instead of explaining why, I just simply say yes. He’ll ask further questions which I’ll answer honestly but I don’t do it out of guilt (all the time anyway, it’s still not anxiety free, I just don’t show that it bothers me!)

[GrumbleBear]

Telling you to leave him sounds like a play on your sympathies to get you feeling sorry for him and guilty if you left….which has worked!!

The grabbing you round the neck is a sure sign of escalation and next time your child may just witness it. Please reach out to a local support service. I’m no expert by any stretch of the imagination but this even has me going WTF! Keep safe.

[GrumbleBear]

I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with that. My husband can do the same if he’s had a bad day at work or something. Anytime I answer him with something about myself he explodes saying I always turn it back to be about me. 2 hours is such a long time to be constantly put down! I hope you hear from the council soon – it will definitely be better than that! You and your girls deserve better!

[GrumbleBear]

He eventually went off to bed and we have been fine since – a few niggles again but nothing major. I have a bombshell to drop in a few days – exciting opportunity for me that I can’t pass up but pretty much everything he fights against!!

[GrumbleBear]

Only been an hour since my last post and I’m exhausted. I said on someone elses post earlier about Dr Ramani’s D.E.E.P rules that I’ve decided to try but it takes a lot. He has nipped out so I have a few minutes to breathe before he’s back. I just want to cry but not giving him that satisfaction!

[GrumbleBear]

May just be about to reach his tipping point tonight. Can’t really say more as it may be too identifying but tension in the house has definitely gone up. My youngest is running about being extra helpful and chirpy as she normally would at these times 🙁

[GrumbleBear]

Go out – have fun!!

[GrumbleBear]

This!! I have been told my husband hates that I love my job! He has also said he’s stuck in while i’m out enjoying life…..he refuses to make friends or take himself out anywhere! He is only happy when I’m at home cleaning and cooking! I’m off to Uni (detail removed by Moderator) and this is currently causing mega issues!!! He says it’s not a guarantee I’ll be allowed to go yet because of money. Little does he know i’ve already accepted my place! I’m tired of being stuck in his little bubble!! The men that act like this (and some women too i’m sure) have real problem when our worlds span further than them!
I have friends and a life outside the house now, away from my children (who I adore) but this is something he tries to make me feel guilty over!
You do you, enjoy college and be f*****g proud of yourself!!!

[GrumbleBear]

It’s exactly this. I laughed when I realised my mistake but then thought, maybe it was me being mistaken the times before but I know that isn’t the case! Difference this time was it came clear that I had put it somewhere else.

It’s enough of a help to be able to say this kind of thing and not be taken as totally nuts! Can only imagine what other people would think if I said this. “Paranoid much?” would probably cover it!

[GrumbleBear]

Yes I have a bag with some clothes in it that I have left with before. I’ll email her school and get them to check in with her tomorrow!

Can’t decide if I want it to settle down again or just get it over with!

[GrumbleBear]

Thank you for this. I wish I had experience of a normal relationship so it was easier to compare! I would have woken up a whole lot sooner had that been the case rather than enabling him for so many years! I’ve set up an email account under another name so I can keep a diary type thing that he won’t ever have access to. I send the emails back to the same account so it keeps a track of the dates.

Hopefully it’ll help bring some clarity.

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