Happiermex

[Happiermex]

Please try to calm your mind and take a deep breath when you have these thoughts,
I am a survivor of physical and mental abuse and can honestly say once the heartbreak is over it feels so refreshing to find yourself again… who says you will die alone? People in relationships may die alone… but you have to be happy with the life you have loved in that moment… I’m only guessing here as thankfully my time isn’t up yet 🙂 but if he makes you feel horrible or scared and you was on your death bed would it comfort you knowing this person who hasn’t really treated you fair or nice is sat beside you?
It’s a difficult process being with someone who dosnt make you feel great. But focus on today and try and think what YOU want out of life xxx

[Happiermex]

Thank you guys, I have removed myself from social media.. I find it dosnt help all round. Hopefully this shitty phase will pass soon enough. Thank you for your support xx

[Happiermex]

We have not had any contact within the last year up untill the other day, I thinks it’s more he’s with someone I know.. I just always wanted him to be miserable..
is it normal to carry that anger a year on?

[Happiermex]

A big part of me doesn’t feel any of this is to make me feel a certain way there’s been someone after me and they have now split up, and now he is with someone I know… i just didn’t think I would give a crap but I do… my head is spinning for some stupid reason

[Happiermex]

So strange he unblocked me on social media two weeks ago… I didn’t think to much into it.. next thing I know he’s with my friend lol.. I can never work these people out! But it reminds me of why I am so better off where I am in life. No games no fear!
Just makes me want to move away lol!

[Happiermex]

Yea it’s a strange feeling isn’t it! A pet of me is abit angry but I’m just going to leave it behind me, hopefully over the next few days the feelings for what ever reason they are there will simmer down

[Happiermex]

I didn’t, and I am kicking myself for notbeing strong enough at the time… I was beaten and treated like a dog, but I just wanted out at the time… he did unblock me on social media two weeks ago which I found so strange! But didn’t think much of it. But now wondering if it’s all a game because he split up with the girl he got with after me.. I think it’s best I leave it. She may see me as the jellous ex

[Happiermex]

Thank you! It’s difficult because I know her really well, do I give her a heads up that he is abusive… physically and mentally? Or do I leave it?

[Happiermex]

I think I will contact my gp, because my mind has blocked out a lot. I can talk about it but it doesn’t feel like my story I’m telling if that makes sense? I just want it to be over it’s so cruel. He’s blocked on everything but emailed me so now every time I get a email my heart goes and I feel sick.
There’s a lot of emotions running through me, some days I’m ok then others I go back to that horrible anxiety feeling.

[Happiermex]

Thank you all so much for your support. Me and my daughter are extremely close which is such a amazing thing.
Can I ask though if it’s normal to forget what they did? And how it made you feel? I keep dreaming about him sometimes good sometimes I see his angry face and wake up feeling all kinds of emotions. I was doing as well as I could in the beginning I felt I got to a ok place but Iv now hit a low with my confidence again.. and I feel like I miss him which is so strange because my mind fights it. He’s with someone new which I think was happening when we where still together towards the end. I have moments I think of them being happy then try and pick myself up take a deep breath and remember what she has comming.. he physically, emotionally and mentally abused me and I’m the one paying for it. It’s just so sad. X

[Happiermex]

Thank you I totally agree with what your saying, if I think of all our holidays they were all so sad when I think back I couldn’t relax he left me and my daughter plenty of times, we went to (detail removed by Moderator) and had the worst two weeks of our lives, so heart breaking. I think like you said it’s looking back and remembering the good times because that feeling of fear and egg shells has passed for me now. But I will ride these rubbish days out and keep moving forward. Iv been asked out a few times but I am no where near ready. I’m so scared I’ll never be ready but I’m (detail removed by Moderator) so I’m sure in time I will be ok x

[Happiermex]

We have split up now… I got away a few months ago but I deleted these pics when we was together, I have a iPhone XR I didn’t want him to see them.. I don’t know what I intend to do with them I think I want them to see how far Iv come and to remind me to never ever stand for anything like that again

[Happiermex]

Thank you so much everyone, I am a strong minded person when I do finally decide something lol so I am solid on I will never go back. I know what’s waiting for me if I went back and that’s not what I want, it’s just thoughs odd days where I stop and feel the emotion and think my god I actually did it! And the feelings I had before of fear etc have gone so it’s easy to forget how you once felt I wish I kept the photos I took after he would hurt me but I deleted them in fear he would find them.. they would have helped me feel nothing if I could get them back.

[Happiermex]

That is a lovley idea. I won’t be taking anyone up on there offer of a date anytime soon as I am still very afraid, but my friends seem to think I’m holding out for him to come back? I would never go back I know that for sure… but I still feel very much in the mind set of the control and mind games and fear.. I think I would love some counselling to try and figure it all out but wouldn’t even know where to start. I keep dreaming about him lately in all diff kinds of situations… one where he’s hitting me, one where am we are friends etc. I deleted all my pics of my injuries I wish I could get them back some how. The photos are of my daughter in regards to the ones upsetting me, just seeing how small she was and what he put us through I feel disgusted as a parent and find that hard to deal with.

[Happiermex]

Thank you so much, that’s my plan to just keep moving forward. Same to you, keep strong and remember your worth xx

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