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Hey just wanted to send strength I really feel for you as I know exactly what it is like when it keeps coming like a freight train.

Stay strong and measured and if it helps write it all down.

Keep posting you are not without a support here

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Thank you everyone it is amazing to feel like it isn’t me x I think the constancy if it this weekend, I had to go for mri scan on my brain and he was just on and on with negativity at me. I appreciate your support very much. I met gives me strength

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First of all a huge hug as feeling rock bottom is so hard. With these activities it sounds like you need to plan to involve a solicitor and report each event to police. Keep a note of each event and the priority is the children and their well being which you need to talk to a solicitor about. Also talk to a doctor about the effect it is having on you and your children.

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You do count. And it may take reminders for you because of what is happening but you really do. Sometimes not doing everything is what it takes for people to realise but build a life for yourself. Look after you.

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I just want to say that you are truly amazing. It takes a lot of courage to just say what you said. I am here like nothing, and have been for quite a long time. I can’t bear the idea of what he says about me to the children when i am not around – as I know it is bad enough lies and poisoning against me in front of me.
One day I will be free and feel I will have at least been ther to be with the children and relish the moments when he is not around to spoil it and makje me feel like rubbish.

But I send you a juge amount of thoughts and strength.

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Firstly to reach out is an amazing step so well done. It sounds like you do need support for this, he cannot continue to put people in fear – some abusers – I know very well – ride and feed themselves on others fear. You can try a communication approach; I have tried this with a teen – as there were lots of instances after spending time with father where her attitude was frightening, intimidating and awful. Get help first, a family coach may be recommended by SS – theya re there to help and it may take a big step to wake him up to his actions.
Good luck and wishing you strength.

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That is a true beauty in what can be a bleakness. Well done, stay strong and be you – be amazing. The world is currently coming out of blackness to grey for me and I find I have strength to calmly say “no, that isn’t right” when there is a lashing out from him or others he has seemingly recruiting (his relatives) and guided teen to do the same verbally,
But I know that I have dreams and a beauty in my heart that will once again see the worlld.

I wish you so well and hope that your contentment journey continues.

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Firstly thank goodness for this forum and Well done – I think you speak the fear and worries of a thousand people like that. It definately strikes with my last decade plus until now. I agree with above go to doctors, CAB and whoever else – if you have supervision at work for example, to record evidence.

I am also fearful as mine has said he will say i am mental and not fit to be anywhere so I will “be alone with nothing”, he has said I have no entitlement and he will deny everything which he does.

It is hard but I send you so many prayers and stay strong. Believe in you and yourself, channel energy into visualisin the outcome.
hugs

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Thank youthat means a lot, he has been saying to kids all sorts and that he and they will go to court and say it all about me and I will have nothing.
He tells me allsorts will come out in court so I am afraid. he makes me and kids think it is all my fault as he should be able to say and do what he wants how he wants (whcih he does). I don’t see myself as a victim but a go to for all his and kids anger.
Feeling like nothing but knowing I need to be something.

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Thank you – all of your kind words leaves me hope that it isn’t me or what I deserve and that I am not alone in his behaviours – albeit it is awful for anyone to sustain this levewl of vindictiveness.

Thank you.

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Thank you fir your support – it is very hard and all I do is hurt . He just uses children to hurt me all of the time, when he is not around it is so different .

I need to hang on for them but I feel so
Drained emotional and physical

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Thank you so much x it is a lifeline as this weekend the last (detail removed by moderator) had caught up and taken my last ounce of strength

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It is likely to be that they do not want to relinquish any control they had. Its very hard to see things objectively whilst it is going on and you are affected by what has been happening. I think writing it down and asking a friend or group such as this to see it and say as it is.
In summary if happiness is being sapped out, or well being, self worth are diminishing then being away will at least make it stop. one can be strong then half when with someone whose actions can lead to negative feelings.
Good luck and review the whole picture, once you have decided take small steps to get there so you are in balance along the way.

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First huge hugs and wishing you lots of strength. Dont doubt yourself, it is very hard and every day is new but unbearable in those circumstances. It is a huge marathon to get out so needs to be looked at as lots of little steps – like a focus on one mission at a time rather than all of them. When it is done tick it off.
I made a stupid decision to stay for my children as they didnt want to choose, but right now after the last every interaction since I can remember belittling me, shouting or telling lies about me – I am reconsidering and thinking of a future that is different. I feel broken and hopeless but know there can be a future,
You are strong in writing what you wrote and being who you are. You have this. Just one step or decision at a time.
Huge hugs and God bless.

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Thank you I need to speak to someone due to the consistency and intensity of it and also the sick way he repeats everything said about me and twists things, liek oh look is mum on her own again. Its just got to my breaking point too long ago.

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Just on here. Ashamed to say spoke to them a few years ago but felt had to stay to try to maintain best case, feel very weak and like I have already lost kids (who are my world as I don’t have many friends due to not going out much), so feel if i leave he will be even worse badmouthing me and telling lies.

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