brokendreams

[brokendreams]

The hospital have contacted the police, as hospital know my problem, when I was home he didn’t contact me, but as soon as in hospital he does, still unsure how he knew I was in hospital,but been told because he hasn’t touched me, and I’m in hospital they won’t arrest him, I did explain I have a DVPO, but they declined, but even hospital staff seem angry at me, but probably my paranoia, I can’t get back with him , but am confused maybe he has changed xxx

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Can’t believe this but ex tried to visit me ( how did he know I was in hospital?),
Lucky the nurse’s stopped him, but I saw him and literally had a accident, he was shouting at me saying he never told his friends to do that, will make them pay, and he’s so sorry would I marry him, he was crying so much, nurse’s didn’t know what to do, but security came and escorted him out, why when I see him do I feel sorry for him, and now cleaned up in bed, thinking of him, I mean maybe he didn’t send them? What if he’s really committed to me?, so confused again! xxx

[brokendreams]

Am all stitched up, but I need to stay in overnight, hope you ladies are well xxxx

[brokendreams]

Hi hun, been thinking about you, did the police show?
As for being afraid to leave, having nobody but him, I was the same, it’s only been a couple of days that I got rid, I’m lonely as have no friends or family, but the abusive escalated, and I couldn’t deal with it mentally or physically, and like the other ladies said, he won’t stop xxxx

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It seems all abusive men seem to use silent treatment, but I guess its power to them, I haven’t heard from ex in a day, and for him that’s a lifetime, which panics me more, but that’s what they want, well my ex did, always wanting me to beg ect, and still blank me , hugs xxx

[brokendreams]

Morning ladies,

Am in hospital, won’t go into any details, but finally had a little sleep, but woke up, and was bleeding badly, and because where it was coming from I had a panic and had to call a ambulance, which wasn’t pleasant, ambulance workers were very abrupt with me,
They’ve found out where bleeding coming from, which was humiliating, but awaiting to go to theatre, as they’ve found a tear, and can’t treat it without hurting more,
But said its only local, so won’t take long, but they don’t know how bad it is until done,
xxx

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Right now am blocking out what they did, because if I think, I cry, which brings the pain more severe, victim support last time gave me door and window alarms, but now with neighbour ignoring me, not much use, but police wanted to install a panic alarm, that goes directly to the police, but say they haven’t funds,
I know that the pain relief makes me sleepy, so I should get some sleep,
Been told am still in shock, but am not a doctor, just know if I don’t think, I can’t break down, because I know if I do I will weaken, and doubt everything,
I know last night, as it was happening, my body couldn’t take it, and no matter how much I pleaded them to stop, made them do the thing more, and multiple times with each five of them, so I did what I used to do, and disassociate myself from the pain, thanks again for your help, and ayanna the pillow is working good, am feeling comforted, thank you xxxx

[brokendreams]

Thank you ladies hugs xxx

Yes that’s why district nurse coming daily, as dressings and area’s I can’t reach or do,
Police have referred me to victim support and awaiting a call, but luckily pain relief due soon and they work well, my burn from my ex still hasn’t healed and was told that it will scare as its deep,
And I have a DVPO against him, so he hasn’t contacted me, probably knows he will be arrested, and am hoping they find and arrest his friends, I’m not sure how long this anger will last, as that’s pushing me forward, but white it’s here I will do upmost to get justice, just hope isn’t like last time xxx

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Yes I probably should be in hospital, but with them wanting to do statement so they can catch them, I agreed as wanted them caught, but I do have district nurse going to attend daily, and I’m stubborn, he always told me that, but have managed today and this evening alone, I guess its just going to be ready painful for a while,
And thank you healthyarchive xxx

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Thank you confused123 xxx

Unfortunately I have nobody in my life, the most difficult thing for me to cope with, and also come to terms with, is he made me loose my sight, and it isn’t going to return, everything will eventually heal, but I will have scars, and I will always be reminded of what he’s done,
Am sharing all this, as if wasn’t for the support from you wonderful ladies, I would still be silent and with him, accepting this is my fault, and my life, I deserve it,
But really it is a massive thanks to you all, and maybe a woman, will read it, and I was petrified of contacting anyone, will see you can escape.
I admit its terrifying right now, I probably will shake and stumble, and am even more afraid as he will have received the DVPO , and I know he’ll be really angry or beg, so I do know this is going to be difficult, but I really fear for my life, especially after the recent assault, if his friends did this much to me, what’s he capable of?, my phone doesn’t leave my side, but still think it’s wrong they won’t put a panic alarm in, as they don’t have the funds.

PS sorry spelling wrong ayanna xxx

[brokendreams]

Thanks anyanna xxx
Yes have got strong pain killers as said will help me sleep too, but can’t have a bath due to injuries as some are burns, so got to leave them dry, feel like a mummy all wrapped up at the moment, had a little sleep earlier, but must have rolled into my arm as it’s fractured, and screamed myself awake,
But luckily it’s been quiet, no visitors, which is a relief, but scary too,
But I will try the pillow, thank you xxx, just anything else touching my body hurts xxx

[brokendreams]

Thank you godchild hugs back xxxx

Was his friends who raped me multiple times, and my body couldn’t take it, but they didn’t stop, they then beat me, but reason why was they claimed was what my ex asked them, as a warning to not report him, that’s why was at A&E for so long, as they needed to deal with injuries, but not lose any evidence, but I know the pain will eventually get easier, but awaiting to go to GUM next week, but said I’d been through enough in last twenty four hours, so I need to rest my body.
I may want a hug, but not from my ex! I can actually say EX now, because if what they said was true, he deserves punishment,

He actually asked me to marry him! , he’s mentally unstable.

I know I will weaken, as been told shock is my anger and fear at the moment.
The pain is so bad, and I feel broken, just hope police catch them, especially after today with statement. xxxxx

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Thanks kip xx
I know about the help lines, and my locks have been changed again,
I have cried so much my head hurts, plus he used to tell me crying was a sign of weakness, and sometimes hard to shake that mentally, but I doubt his friends will try, as police are looking for them for multiple gang rape and assaults xxxx

[brokendreams]

Can’t stop crying

Morning ladies hope your all ok, I feel stupid and can’t stop crying, think it’s tiredness though, didn’t get home until early hours, was In A&E for three hours, then SARC for about same time, haven’t had much sleep, and today having to do statement as well as another appointment, but least police are taking me seriously, ( probably because I told them I would complain), plus this time they have evidence, just wish I could stop crying xx

[brokendreams]

Wowza!! Great news, just enjoy yourself, you deserve it xxx

[brokendreams]

Yes I know your right, guess he’s just got in my head,
I contacted the police in regards to what his friends did earlier, and am awaiting someone to come round, xx

[brokendreams]

I don’t think I want to get a order, he’s trying to make it up with me, he’s sorry about what he’s done and is attending anger management, I need time to think and heal, and he’s keeping away, his friends have been around, but I need to blank that out

[brokendreams]

I understand how you feel hun,
But don’t be scared, at least the police are concerned about you,
Subconsciously you called them because you needed help, I know it’s scary, but you being assaulted isn’t right.

I can’t say what you need to do, as I myself am thinking of taking my bf back, but that was because I was let down by the authorities.

Take a deep breath and remember they only want to help, and keep posting, sending hugs xxx

[brokendreams]

Hi Lisa

I recently received a email from idas to arrange a assessment, am scared of going, as you know I wasn’t denied assistance, until police contacted them, I went to court alone, as was told nobody could attend, the police said they won’t install a panic alarm as they don’t have the funds, and never heard of red flagging my number, but mine isn’t,
I have no support except for here, and all police advised was Samaritans and IDAS, am not suicidal, just angry with not been helped, took a lot for me to tell, and doesn’t seem worth it.

[brokendreams]

I’m too afraid to call 999, as know I’ll be treated like I deserve it, and neighbour ignoring pleas from help, as think if neighbour called least shows it’s true

[brokendreams]

Difficult to say, as with all that’s happened last few days, I no longer have faith in the police or justice system, my neighbour made it clear he didn’t want to be involved, as he slammed the door in my face, IDAS said the ‘ cocoon ‘ service can speak to him ( police), but that’s already been done, and when I screamed my lungs out, nobody came, so obviously neighbour won’t help, my bf is doing really well, and I think he’s right, I need to change, at least he cares, other organisations don’t seem to xxx

[brokendreams]

Least wasn’t as warm today , but I stayed in anyway , so was good to not keep covered xxx

[brokendreams]

Sending hugs and hope you fly high again soon.

L&H xxx

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Welcome to the forum, and well done that your now having a good life, its inspirational to know things can be better xxx

[brokendreams]

Sorry to hear your having a bad time, I really don’t have probably anything good to say, as I’m like a yo-yo at present, with bf and maybe leaving him, but I can say is I have bad days, but also days when my brain tells me I am strong and won’t allow him to get in my head, am hoping your just having a blip, and you’ll stay strong, sending hugs xx

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I don’t let them in, they break in, which the police know about, as its usually early hours while I’m sleeping, and before can get the phone its taken, that’s why I screamed for help, but neighbour ignored me, have been told no refuge space in my (removed by moderator) , and have to stay in my (removed by moderator)  xx

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My ex isn’t around at present, his court case is (removed by moderator), and have been asked to write a letter for the judge to explain how I feel,
(removed by moderator), and strangely enough I don’t miss him, luckily only today to go, and hope IDAS call tomorrow, I have a appointment with (removed by moderator), due to what happened to me now and as a child, I do have a mother, but don’t see her. xxx

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Awww thank you lonc that’s beautiful ❤ , unfortunately I don’t have a mother or a father, but thank you .

Spent the day at hospital, and no longer pregnant, and quite honestly I don’t know how to find,
I don’t have anyone, just me, plus my neighbour ignored my pleas last night, guess like everyone in my life, they are sick of hearing me. , ( not you lovely ladies❤ ).

So am home alone, got a panic alarm, ( but if neighbour ignored me last night, doubt he’ll bother, but got some sleeping medication and pain relief, and praying for Monday, as IDAS should be in contact, am anxious, but got to cope alone, at least got phone, hope your all ok, and thank you ❤ xxx

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Thank you womaninneed xxx

Finally IDAS has contacted me via email, but they said they want to do a assessment, and can I go to office, but still a bit afraid going out, would they meet me at my doctors surgery? As I’d feel safe there, have sent a email asking, plus not sure what a assessment involves, or why I have to have one, but least they’ve contacted me xx

[brokendreams]

Morning ladies,

Didn’t sleep too well, but I wasn’t surprised, but least today I have a day off from all the stress and talking, so am hoping to try and switch off and luckily the pain relief is working! xxx

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