Bruisedbutbrave

[Bruisedbutbrave]

Thank you
With so much crime going on ,bring a survivor is even harder.
I keep my mobile with me.
Always keep change in my car
Cash in my wallet
I am thinking about writing all the important numbers and get them laminated and leave them in my car and home in case I lose me mobile

I locked myself and couldn’t even call the landlady. Left mobile at home
It was scary and frightening
Since then I am more vigilant and check my bag to ensure I have everything

Anxiety is through the roof prior to court hearings but i am slowly getting better .

[Bruisedbutbrave]

Dear purpleturle

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through
Someone has already given you a very comprehensive advice
Please keep updating and ask for support
It’s not easy to be own your own
We are all here to listen and give support as much as we can .
Prayers and love your way xxx
Stay safe and may God be with you and your girls xxx

[Bruisedbutbrave]

Heart breaking
I do not know how many more women need to die before this Pakistani narcissistic society will understand that women are not objects. They are not born to be oppressed
They are not born to be slaves and submitting themselves to be abuse raped sexually assaulted in the name of Islam by people who are meant to love them and treat them with kindness
I am pakistani and born and brought up in that culture where Male in every relationship from father brother husband to son feel entitled to control and dictate a women what she needs to do
I am a survivor of domestic abuse on every level got over a decade and my family have not sympathy as it a normal thing back home so why am I making a fuss
Mothers are brought up in that society and borne their daughters to be loud and disrespectful for having a say in life
This is sickening and suffocating
This need to change
We cant let more girls die

[Bruisedbutbrave]

I am so sorry to hear .
I thought It was only girls who got married and imported brides from Pakistan who are suffering the domestic violence.
In my head I thought girls who are brought up and went to school will know their rights and support system better .its heart breaking and i am ever so sad to learn what’s happening .
Narcissism is very common inmuslim societies where Male are entitled to oppress women and use islam .it is considered normal and I accepted this as normal for all my life .its is impossible to break free from such deep rooted abuse when youyou dont even know its abuse .

Girls please look after yourself
Write to your local MP
speak to women Aid
Email who ever you can to get heard
Together we are stronger
Together we can be voice which will be hard to ignore
Please dont give up
Life is beautiful
We deserve so much better .
It’s just matter of time
Allah is kind merciful
He test his chosen ones and he will find the best just the matter of time so just hang in there.

[Bruisedbutbrave]

Its heart breaking to hear above comments
I myself have been through the whole thing
Getting away from the abuser is the most hardest time and that’s when victim need support esp if you are reliant on the perpetrator for your visa or stay .
I am amazed that perpetrator are managing to get restraining orders .what kind of justice system is it that without a fact finding hearing ,judge is giving away order.i am shocked

Dear stressedout I hope you getting the support you need .please keep posting and updating how you are feeling and if you need any help

I am going through court system myself and with o money and not able to qualify for legal aid I have to present myself in the court as I cant afford a lawyer and barrister and used £10000 and that was only first hearing and without getting any non molestation order .justice system is a complete joke for victims as it stands currently
Even reading several pages of statement,judge only care about child meeting their dad ,no one gives a shit about what a mother is going through and how hard it is to survive after the abuse
I had days when I wished if I shouldn’t have left .I am a professional with a highly paid job and if this is how I feel I cant imagine what others are going through esp those who are financially dependent and relying on their perpetrator for visa etc

[Bruisedbutbrave]

I know exactly how you feel .I have those days .
Its not easy after years of abuse and toxicity
People cant see the emotional and psychological damage .counselling is for an hour ,you are left alone then to deal with your life
You pick up your pieces every single day and get on with life .you work look after kids and be as normal so no one point fingers on your sanity .
I feel tired and exhausted .
I feel worse after the court hearing
Justice system is meant to be there to help abc support the victim but I feel as if they are bullying me
Laughing at me for being protective of my children
Judge thinks I should just get over and let the children be with their father who has no criminal record but abused me physically emotionally psychologically financially raped and sexually assaulted me for years and despite all of that in their eyes I am the one who is being difficult .
I am not having a good day
I feel worse than when I left few months ago
The justice system should be there to support the victims not to bully them and make them feel it was far easier to stay in that abusive relationship and pretend to be happy

[Bruisedbutbrave]

I know exactly how you feel .
I have been through this over 10 years
Feeling used. Felt dirty
Nothing would make me happy. No designer clothes or shoes
I was so hurt and traumatized deep inside
And it’s hard to accept that a husband can do such hideous act and betray you
It’s a sinking deep hole and you feel so alone and trapped
I accepted this for my children for over 10 years but it didn’t get better
He used and abused me
And I reached the verge of mental and physical collapse
I reported abuse to police
It’s the most horrific feeling you can ever go through
Someone you loved and trusted can hurt you so much

I am so sorry what you are going through as I know how exactly it feels
Be strong
And stand up for yourself before it’s too late
Report him to police
It’s not easy but you gotta do what’s right for you .

Lots of love and prayers xxx

[Bruisedbutbrave]

I am sorry that so many girls are going through sexual abuse in their intimate relationship
I always thought rape was done by strangers .
I have been a survivor of domestic abuse on every level and horrific sexual assault and rape in a marriage of over 10 years.
I felt sick ,horrible and used .
Apart from the first year of marriage,everything else was rape and sexual assault .I got so put off after children that I started sleeping in separate room .he will call me lesbian,depressed,cheating on him ,my childhood molestation as reason to not consent for sex .
I was walking on egg shell every single day

He will drag me from my room and make me watch sick porn .
I was born and raised in a conservative religious society so he made me believe I didn’t know what sex is .

I was so unhappy and didn’t understand why
I had cervical trauma due to sexual assault and it didn’t click when the doctor mentioned
I feel sick to this date how I let this happen to me and how the sick psychopath messes with my head and blamed me for everything .
I went to police for coercive control and alot ig things came out during interview
He tried to video me during sex which I couldn’t understand .
His sexual fantasy to have sex in public (garden) and on holidays with another woman while he watches me was so sickening
He would tell me repeatedly I wish I could rape you.used sick insulting language during sex
Calling me slut whore
The more I recall the more it hurts

After 10 pages of statement,police didn’t arrest or took the case to CPS due to lack of evidence and my only hope is now family court .
I have strong faith and I believe in higher power
What ever happened to me in this marriage ,I hops it never happens to anyone else and I will fight for justice,not for myself as nothing will bring my life back but want to save others.

[Bruisedbutbrave]

You are not alone
I felt exactly the same
Almost had a car accident
But please believe in yourself
Getting out of toxic relationship is a battle in sin itself. their mind games and toxicity flashes back but you need to remind yourself how brave you are for standing up for yourself
It’s a long journey
But there is light at the end of tunnel
Just matter of time

Practice mindfulness that will help you with flash back and anxiety
Write a diary. Be grateful for small pleasures in life .having a good night sleep is a blessing in these hard days

I remember the time
Sinking heart feeling
Loneliness among the crowd
Feeling how stupid I was staying for so long and believing all the labels and diagnosis he gave me to satisfy his ego .

But it will slowly get better
Counselling
Inner healing and mindfulness exercises
Yoga
Walk.
Watching a movie
Reading book
Time with friends
Exercise
Pedicure
Spa day

Anything which makes you feel alive

Good luck

We are all here
Big hug and lots of prayers xxx

[Author]

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