Goggleeyes

[Goggleeyes]

Hi Ladies,

I’m LOVING your notes of encouragement for us all. I’ve had a great chuckle at a couple of these and lots of smiles. Ty so much! Xx

To anyone here add funny ones, serious ones, anything that resonates with you and offers hope for someone else. Through little ripples we touch each other’s lives 🥰

“Until you change your thinking, you will always recycle your experiences.”

“It’s better to walk away, than to tolerate nonsense.”

“The trick is as long you know who you are and what makes you happy, it doesn’t matter how others see you.”

[Goggleeyes]

Hi Imsosad,

I remember going through burnout, more than once. I found for me being in nature really helped. Sitting in the balcony, walking in a park, or along a waterway. Even if you can travel for a few days not for a holiday but self care and rebuild your strength. Fresh air frequently, even in all weathers. It helped me. I hope you find what works for you.

[Goggleeyes]

Hi Stella Maria,

I know it can be very confusing when your in brains in a foggy state. I can only suggest what I did, perhaps giving you a different perspective.

Initially, I went to each individual outlet that I thought could help ie (detail removed by moderator), Police, Citizens Advice, Social, Housing department, local council. It was exhausting for my already stressed brain to try and comprehend let alone go through systems that were a minefield. I too went through MARACs, Women’s Aid, Refuge and fled. Thinking ok great the hard parts over. Just to have the whole process repeat.

After that I actually contacted my local MP and reconnected to all the previous agencies listed above. BUT I copied them ALL in every email I sent. It was much easier for me to keep things straight this way, knowing everyone had the same information at once. Made it a little easier for me getting tangible help, as I connected everyone myself and made them aware of my situation. In a way making everyone accountable. Instead of wondering who was talking to who, if at all.
I’m happy to say I received very real help.

I know finding the strength can be difficult but keep going. You’ll get there, I did. You can too. Xx

 

[Goggleeyes]

Hi HunkyDory,

When I met my ex I was a self assured, confident woman who thought I was a bad ass business owner wearing my leather jacket, like I was the shit. Lol How naive I was.

Then over decades I was resolved to a gooey, foggy, liquified marshmallow mess- left to question my own sanity. Every bit of my identity was stripped away, to the point that I didn’t even exist anymore.

Since I fled I’m now discovering who I really am, what I like- because I like it not because I’m being a chameleon fitting in to someone else’s demands, influence or expectations of me.

Although I will be getting a leather jacket again, as I know for a fact that I’m a true bad-ass survivor. 💥😊

[Goggleeyes]

How I view my ex;

Then- a Roman or Greek Gladiator. Very fit. Piercing blue eyes. Charming. Also a bit of a white knight in shining armour, willingness to help complete strangers.

Now- a demon who uses glamour to hide his true guise of deception with soulless eyes void of any feeling. Mirroring blackness.I truly believe he his the chief guard to the daughter of Hades, who was given a reprieve from being her slave solely to cause mayhem on earth before being sent back to hell when it’s time. Maybe that’s why he has such a chip on his shoulder about strong women 😋

[Goggleeyes]

REMINDER LADIES:

One day you will
Look back on this
And you will be
Proud that you
Didn’t give up.
So keep going,
You got this.

#strength #your-life #hope #love

[Goggleeyes]

Oh my word yes. Food was controlled for me too. I was on this roller coaster. When we first met I was a small size, then I needed “fattening up”, then when my clothing sizes went to a 14 I was yo fat, hideous and ugly.
Then I’d work on my diet, exercise only to be sabotaged by him buying food that he knew I didn’t want to eat. When I got upset about it he’d say but your working so hard I got you a treat as a reward.
If I didn’t eat it, I’d get blamed, shouted at for shirking his kindness. If I did eat it I’d get blamed for not working hard enough to reduce my weight. It was vicious cycle of abuse and self loathing.
When I was close to leaving I was so distraught, lack of sleep etc I stopped 3 clothing sizes in a month. It was to quick but I was so stressed.
Now that I’ve left I’m a much happier, healthier version of myself 😊

[Goggleeyes]

I’m stunned, truly. One, that anyone even cares about my ramblings, surviving traumas, and focusing on my better path ahead. Second, your words of inspiration, encouragement and validation of how you see me. It literally means the world right now as I rewire my brain from negative thoughts after a lifetime of conditioning.

After many, many years I am just now learning that:
– Until I change my thinking, I will always recycle negative experiences.
Also
– Don’t allow someone to treat me poorly just because I love them.

Thank you to you beautiful group. Xx

[Goggleeyes]

Life is still full of ups and downs. I think he might know where I am, I don’t know how but I’m now receiving notices of debts at my new location in the last couple of weeks. Kinda freaking me out.
I’ve spoken to my solicitor not about the collection letters but just in general regarding him. No divorce as yet, my legal aid was denied and I can’t afford several thousand pounds to legally detach myself from him. When will this ever end.

[Goggleeyes]

The mods are better than myself *silly auto correct, sorry *

[Goggleeyes]

Hi freshwaterlily,

I’m not really sure what to say to you the kids are much better than myself. However, I wanted you to know I see you and offer encouragement to keep going towards your freedom. Your thinking will clear the longer your away. Xx

[Goggleeyes]

Congratulations on your new life, SO proud of you!! Be gentle with yourself emotions are jumbled and raw but it will get better, lighter feeling and brighter. I’ve been there too Xx

[Goggleeyes]

Thanks for the Amazon wish list tip! I’ll be looking into it for sure, having been in this position myself I know how important it is and felt so grateful.

[Goggleeyes]

Thanks Kip, yes I have done exactely that and my counsel said to not communicate too. I answered initially so he couldn’t say in court I was being malicious or unreasonable. Now on advice from my legal council I’ve stopped communicating and so has he. Xx

[Goggleeyes]

Life is full of ups and downs. Yes my child and I have left and are safe. We lived in a WA refuge for several months, with no contact-bliss! Now months later as were starting our life over, I’m getting legal aid for divorce now he’s getting in contact again through my email. Most of its very on the surface nice but also loaded with sarcasm, jus anger and malice as he’s angry. He’s gone from not caring that we left to all of a sudden harassing me with emails. It’s exgausting reading his rants and accusations as he tries to paint me as some evil low life who has done him wrong. By that’s him, it’s alwats about him. My legal council has of course seen his communication, so they are under no illusion. Thank goodness. Just want him to leave me alone.

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