Sleepy

[Sleepy]

That’s ok. It’s a tough situation. I have sympathy for both of you. Hope things work out.

[Sleepy]

What’s forgiveness therapy?

[Sleepy]

It sounds a bit petty to me, a man not being able to get what he wants. Either he’ll come out of it or carry on. If he’s just being silent towards you I’d just ignore it and do what you’ve said you’ll do, focus on you.

[Sleepy]

Can’t believe that!

I agree action is needed. We need women, and men, to stand up to any Sexual assault.

[Sleepy]

Thinking of you in the horrendous situation. So glad you partner is getting help and support and it will be a rocky road for him, for a while probably. I’m guessing here that he’s probably not sure of how to have a normal loving relationship if he’s been abused himself. I guess that could be something you work out together. However, abuse is wrong whoever it’s coming from, so even if he’s been abused that shouldn’t mean you tolerate abuse from him. Could you continue to support him whilst being in a different house, explain it’s not an end to the relationship but you need to lay a few boundaries down about how you should be treated, and you both may need the space to figure things out.

[Sleepy]

Not sure about if it’s a tactic or not.

I would just stop answering the question, tell him he’s had his answer ‘x’ amount of times, and if you ever change your mind you’ll let him know. Till then not to bring it up again.

Mind you that might not work for an abuser. I’m sure someone else will come along with a better answer.

[Sleepy]

Glad you can find writing music helps, and by the sound of it your faith does too. Keep having the courage to speak out on this subject that affects so many.

[Sleepy]

Glad you feel calmer, I find it helps to write stuff down too. Yes my health is manageable, most of the time. Hope you soon feel better. Sleepy

[Sleepy]

On the effects of the Coronavirus. I have a long term health condition which is the result of a flu virus years ago. I have been reading that the Coronavirus can cause post viral fatigue quite readily. I’d have a chat with your GP about that. Rest as much as you can right now. It’s also quite normal to be a bit low/depressed after a virus till you get fully back on your feet. I’d give yourself a bit of a break and do some things that relax you and try not to worry. When I’m more fatigued it’s also an awful lot easier to focus on what people say and having it mulling around your head. If you want to PM me about any of that feel free.

As your what your friend said, you know what the truth is, remind yourself of it! If she’s not had experience of abuse she’ll possibly not alway know what to say and get it wrong sometimes, though i wouldn’t hold it against her. She’s obviously trying to help and listen. Maybe just a gentle comment next time you talk would help both of you, you’d get it off your chest that you didn’t like what she said and she’ll have a better idea of what it’s been like for you.

[Sleepy]

Hope you can sort this out. The people who suggest you move back in, are they his friends? And are they lifting a finger to help? You know your situation best, you need to do what’s right for you, though keep a bridge of communication open between you if you can. Lay down the boundaries and stick with them.
If he needs support can he get Carers or a cleaner or something like that, then you’re not involved with that side of his life and it’d be easier for both of you.

[Sleepy]

Sounds like a really difficult position to be in. I was young when I was in an abusive relationship, not long after Uni, and it is really daunting at that age, you just don’t know where to turn. And even when I moved out he was coming round and trying to phone etc, quite scary at times.
Could you talk to your GP? They may know of local support groups and may be able to advise you about your mental health, and hopefully get you support.
If he’s been in prison he’s likely to be on probabtion so will have to be careful, could you speak to the local police and explain the situation, not sure what they’ll be able to do but it doesn’t sound great that you’re terrified of going out, though totally understandable.
Are you going back to Uni in the autumn? Sounds like half the problem is that he is living close to you.
Not sure what else to suggest off the top of my head but I’m sure others will have some ideas.
Thinking of you
Sleepy

[Sleepy]

Could you try the text messaging service? They are there to listen from what I gather. https://www.giveusashout.org/

Or try writing it all down If you can then its not Going through your head every time.
Talking in counselling is helping me a lot.

Wish I had a bit more time to help. Thinking of you and hope you get help somehow.

[Sleepy]

Hi again, Hope between the GP and others you can get the help you need. So sad it’s harder because you’re not a British citizen. I don’t know if you have any faith background but I’m sure if you contacted a faith leader in your area, whether Christian, Muslim or any other they would at least listen as you wait for other help to come along.
There is also a text messaging service called SHOUT if you want to off load a bit.
Sleepy

[Sleepy]

I hope you can find the help you need. I am not sure what’s the best thing to do but hoping that someone on here will have an idea.

[Sleepy]

You don’t need to know someone’s relationship inside out to be shocked by abusive behaviour! Change counsellor I would say. Mind you saying that I was uncertain about my counsellor the first few times, she said something which made me think she wasn’t any good but then I’ve made real progress with her help.

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