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    • #126889
      solivagant
      Participant

      Yes. He’s not on the birth certificate so he has no legal claim to her at all unless he goes to court

    • #118727
      solivagant
      Participant

      If I were you I’d try and change support worker. Maybe say that your personality ls don’t match and see if you can get a better one. My support worker talk about herself most of the time. Assumed I was okay and then discharged me and now I’m here like an emotional wreck!! You are brave and strong enough to do it on your own but you shouldn’t have to! So take it step by step. See if you can get a different case worker and call up local solicitors (30min free advice), give a brief description and see what they suggest. Take notes of what was said and see which one you like the most and then not only will you have the knowledge to know where you stand but you will also know who a good solicitor is when/if it goes into legal proceedings

    • #118424
      solivagant
      Participant

      I don’t have anyway to get in touch with his family. We never really had a relationship with each other. But I will give women’s aid a call see what they say.

    • #118399
      solivagant
      Participant

      Can I get one against him if that’s all he’s done within the last couple of weeks and even then it was a family member that came not him?

    • #118397
      solivagant
      Participant

      I don’t think his family know he’s abusive and they currently don’t have any contact with her because (detail removed by moderator). Its all so upsetting. I partly expected him to send gift it but I really hoped he wouldn’t and he would just leave us be

    • #118388
      solivagant
      Participant

      I don’t mind his family but it makes me feel sick to the bone and really anxious that he still trying to get to her even if it is indirectly.

    • #114195
      solivagant
      Participant

      Hopefully he’s all talk…
      The advice I get given often contradicts itself so its very hard to know best thing to do is!

    • #114162
      solivagant
      Participant

      I did report it to police, they said its not harassment as its not threatening! When I call the police they say it is and when I actually speak to a local officer they say its not…
      The police recommended that i get him to message through a 3rd party because i have to update him on the baby’s health so thats what he is doing now…

    • #112716
      solivagant
      Participant

      my ex did this. I’m pretty sure he only did it so that he looks good. And makes me out to be the bad guy. He’s still trying to make me out to be the bad guy now!!!

      Do you find he is always the victim in any of his stories?? My ex is always the victim and is still playing that game!

    • #112714
      solivagant
      Participant

      Hello,
      I took one out not too long ago and it is a pretty simple thing they just ask a few basic questions, like your personal info (name, address, contact number, DOB, ect) and same for him so they get the right guy.

      Mine took about 3 weeks to process and get back to me. Seems odd when they can access info immediately but they have there process.

      Overall its pretty easy to apply and I would highly recommend that you do. Even of its for your own piece of mind. One advice I would give is of there is something to disclose make sure they are 100% about to give you info for the right person (they gave me information about someone completely different!!) And that you get midweek staff not weekend staff.

      Hope this helps xxx

    • #112181
      solivagant
      Participant

      Both. I initially took out a claires law a while ago and because of what that brought back I decided to take out a Sarah’s law just in case…because I’d applied to take out Sarah’s law thats when they discovered they gave me the wrong Claires law a few months ago!

    • #111842
      solivagant
      Participant

      I’ve tried multiple times to get through to rights of women but I can’t seem to ever get through! I will look into the others though see what I can find out! I won’t be telling anyone I’ve had the baby until AFTER ive registered it, thats when I will be telling close friends and the father. I have deleted all social media so I cannot be found on it. I have for individual things but have really pushed for a case worker. I now have one but there’s still a long way to go!!

    • #111815
      solivagant
      Participant

      I have tried to get the ball in motion. I spoke to police for harassment but they won’t doing anything, I spoke to gp about the stress and they said think about the money when the babys been born, the midwife often offers to help but never follows through what she said so its just an on going battle to receive any help at all! I got a case worker from womens aid last week so hopefully things will start picking up but there’s not much longer before baby’s here! At the point I’m at i don’t want her to come and of she does im scared about leaving the hospital because once I’m out then I have to try manage baby and continue to do everything else. I won’t get to rest and I don’t know how to protect her after bringing her home because I can almost garuntee as soon as I say she’s born but no contact until courts sort something he’s gonna get really mad!!! But he might not do anything until after he’s got what he wants than my life will be so much worse!

    • #126886
      solivagant
      Participant

      I’ve been trying to move but it’s so hard to find somewhere affordable! I hate that they know where I live its like their taunting me… everytime I start to relax him and the family are right back

    • #118681
      solivagant
      Participant

      I did consider returning them but was told that that may make it worse. I was going to sell them and but her something better but my family said that was rude so now there just sat doing nothing

    • #118679
      solivagant
      Participant

      Gp said I was overreacting and that he will be fine when I see her and I can’t get referred to a pediatrician

    • #118678
      solivagant
      Participant

      Social services won’t be involved as ice not allowed contact and GP said he will be fine and I’ve over reacted….

    • #118403
      solivagant
      Participant

      Should I tame them back to family member? I didn’t really get a chance to refuse the gifts as they were given to one of my family members. They’ve been unwrapped but they still have all the labels on.

    • #116196
      solivagant
      Participant

      Thanks for your reply, I will have a look into it.
      What is the process if I do go forward with it?

    • #116178
      solivagant
      Participant

      I’m sorry its still very traumatic for you!
      It is a strange feeling to not know and feel the shame of it. I wish I’d realised that abuse doesn’t always have to be physical before I told him I was pregnant. I wander what I would have done differently.
      I feel so stupid to not realise that this was rape and that he’d been so abusive!
      I don’t want to make it difficult for you but if you don’t mind me asking. Did you manage to get anyone to believe you??

    • #116177
      solivagant
      Participant

      Was it the same situation or…?
      If it was the same situation how long was it before you told anyone and how can you get people to believe you with no proof??

    • #114183
      solivagant
      Participant

      I did get legal advice and they said the same thing that I had to inform him on babys update… there’s only been a couple of updates and all they said was that baby was well and that about it really. There was no encouraging him to respond or anything like that…

      No I’m not finically dependant on him. Nor has he put a penny towards getting any of baby’s basics (even when we were together) despite saying that he wants to ensure baby wants for nothing…
      I’d much rather baby be safe than have his money

    • #112873
      solivagant
      Participant

      I spoke to case worker and she said either let him do it or offer that he post it. I’ve told him to post it but is refusing and saying that I am being unreasonable and will be dropping it at the house??

      My case worker also said its incredibly hard to get a non molestation order as he’s playing mr nice guy the messages don’t appear threatening.

      So again there is nothing I can do!! I can try calling 101 but I doubt they will do anything

    • #112241
      solivagant
      Participant

      I will call up tomorrow and see what the best option is 😊👍

    • #112240
      solivagant
      Participant

      Yes I’m pretty sure they do

    • #112201
      solivagant
      Participant

      They live in the UK just not in England. So I guess it also includes, Scotland, Wales and Ireland 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • #112196
      solivagant
      Participant

      yes. I’ve been given then information for a completely different person (doesn’t even have same name)

    • #112195
      solivagant
      Participant

      Haha.
      So I took out a Claires law on ex partner months ago. Got the information. I asked an officer if Sarah’s law would also be disclosed in a Claines law and he never got back to me. So today I called up enquiring about sarahs law asking if I needed to make a separate application (turns out you do) so I made a separate application for Sarah’s law. A few hours late I got a call back saying they think the Claire law that was disclosed to me months ago is a completely different person as it doesn’t match the details I gave them today. Plus the other person isn’t even in England.

    • #112188
      solivagant
      Participant

      I haven’t had Sarah’s law info yet.
      Just the wrong information for Claire law

    • #112187
      solivagant
      Participant

      They haven’t done one. I was told I hate to wait until I got Sarah’s law back and then if it didn’t come up in that to make a new application for Claire law

Viewing 12 reply threads

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