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15th February 2024 at 11:08 pm #166151WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
I needed to read these posts tonight. I’m (detail removed by Moderator) years in, should have left 5 years ago. I’m not getting any younger and want to enjoy what I have left! I don’t understand why I can’t say, ‘I don’t want to be with you’. I’m sure he knows but won’t let me go! I am independent, I don’t rely on him yet I’m off to see him tomorrow and I’m dreading it. Keep thinking how am I going to get out of going. I wish I knew the answer. It’s caused massive rifts in my family.
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30th December 2023 at 6:44 pm #164648WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
They think I am just wanting drama and attention but I really don’t. I just want peace!
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16th August 2020 at 8:20 pm #112264WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
Thank you for your replies. I think you’re right about people knowing. They have seen his behaviour before, not with me and have said they think he’s probably ‘challenging’. I’m so done with it all x
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7th July 2020 at 11:45 am #109158WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
The Red Line. This is such a good way of putting it. Its made me realise that my whole floor is painted red too. I keep thinking next time he crosses that line that Will be it. Then I move the line again. Its very frustrating.
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7th July 2020 at 11:42 am #109155WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
You’ve made such a big step. If you go back you’ll kick yourself. Please persevere with it. Im sure it is completely the right decision. You got your own place for a reason. Think what made you leave. Maybe right down all the things that have happened and when you get a weak moment read them back to yourself.
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2nd July 2020 at 1:10 pm #108509WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
Thanks Braelynn. Boundaries for me is something I really do need to work on. I’ve realised in my later years that I have not set clear and firm boundaries so get walked over. I’m getting more comfortable with myself and just want a peaceful but fun life, no stress. I think I’m scared of the reaction when I go. Its not going to be easy. Thank you for replying.
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2nd July 2020 at 10:02 am #108474WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
Its so incredibly hard to leave. My friends and family really don’t understand it. Also if this was happening to any of my friends I would say the same thing. Until you’re in it you don’t realise how difficult it is.
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1st July 2020 at 9:01 pm #108420WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
Also he thinks I have brought the property i own to rent out.
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1st July 2020 at 8:37 pm #108418WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
I did read the thread ‘this is my abuser’ and I could have ticked most of the traits, not all but enough. I’m not sure what I’m scared of. I can see an easier more peaceful life without him. He gets in fights too, more verbal but very scary
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1st July 2020 at 8:17 pm #108415WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
I’m not very good at explaining things! I feel very controlled. There are situations that I can’t even describe how I feel on here. The pit in the stomach feeling. I’m sure someone will know what I mean
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1st July 2020 at 8:10 pm #108413WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
Yes that’s what all my friends/family say.
I think he knows exactly what to say to make me feel his behaviour is all my fault. He is so convincing. I know I’m going to be made to look thr bad one. I think I care too much what people think and he knows that. -
2nd July 2020 at 9:33 am #108467WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
These posts are great. The Red Line, wow, never looked at it this way before. Yes, my whole floor is RED. Having read these posts I think I have just moved the red line again in front of me, saying next time that will be it. But he does something again and I just sit there and keep the peace. My partner is controlling. He doesn’t think he is. I also get the evil face shouty face. Its awful. Sometimes shouted at for hours it’s exhausting. Thats just for being friendly with the neighbours. Its ridiculous. Reading these posts is really helpful 🧡
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1st July 2020 at 10:15 pm #108429WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
Me too. Wow the red line is crossed almost daily.ots not easy to just walk away. I have no idea why that is!
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20th June 2020 at 11:31 am #106922WheresmysparklegoneParticipant
This is my first post on here. I can take pieces from all these posts. He doesn’t do all of them but that doesn’t make him not an abuser. I get told who I can and cant talk to. I’m banned from going to our local pub. I think he hates me having friends. He never has a good word to say for any of them. Even my family. I’m going to try and read the book you mention. Thanks for this
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