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You know deep down you have done the right thing,it’s hard but you will be able to be happy again in time. I’m so very proud of you many of us wish we were as strong as you for leaving. Love and hugs to you x

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Hi Ocean, I’m sorry for what you are experiencing. I don’t have young children maybe some ladies on here who have will help but my advice would definitely be to go to the police if you feel your child may be in danger. Keep posting and take care xx

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Hi justlost well done for taking that difficult step that many of us still struggle with. It will take time for you to deal with your emotions but it will get better and you are going to worry everything is very new and scary but you have your children with you focus on them and in time you will begin to feel better about yourself. Give yourself some much needed love and I hope you can move forward and be happy xx

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Hi sparklylights I can relate to this yes it is abuse. My partner is the same and for so long I put the behaviour down to alcohol but it’s not just that, it obviously doesn’t help but the name calling,insults, pushing and damm right bullying behaviour is abuse they just use alcohol as an excuse to do it.I’ve tried to help him with his mental health but he doesn’t want to know. My partner actually told me that if he says or does something wrong when he’s drunk it doesn’t count! Just because HE doesn’t remember but we all do and have to live with it, he attacked my son (detail removed by moderator) and still to this day he sees no fault for doing it.

I think you were right to leave after the threat of violence and you should be proud of yourself for that it will take time but you know you are safe. Take care and give yourself some love xx

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Chocolatebunnie sending you a big hug xx

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I’m suffering mentally too, anxiety is very high bad panic attacks regularly. I have the decider skills app now. Like you I’m having lots of therapy and see a peer support worker who is brilliant. I’m not exactly managing it but I’m trying.

I don’t know how I’ve managed it but I’ve been in 4 abusive relationships but this one is the worst,looking back he knew what he was doing from day 1 but now I’m in to deep,I’m to old and tired to fight anymore. My ex partner took his own life and if I leave this man he will do the same and I can’t go through that again.plus everyone loves him he’s so nice! But they don’t see what we have put up with when his dark side comes out behind closed doors.

Yes I have regretted staying.

Yes the abuse has got worse.

Advice? Knowledge is power.

Even though I can’t leave learning about how and why they abuse helps me I feel less confused, it’s not right but I see why.

The book “why does he do that?” by Lundy Bancroft is really good, interesting and helpful xx

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I can relate to this my partner has said the same and I 95% think it’s to make me feel sorry for him but it’s very triggering to me as my kid’s dad did take his life so it’s hard I can’t go through that again. I’ve told my partner to seek help but he says there’s nothing wrong

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Hi lovesprollies well done for your post I hope it helps you talk about it with other people.many of us haven’t been able to take that step and get away from our abusers you have and you should be very proud of yourself for that. I hope you continue doing well sending hugs to you x

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Hi raspberry123 you ask is it because of me, I say no definitely not. you lied about your past okay, but you have told the truth and that must have been really hard for you because it was not by the sounds of it a happy time you wanted to remember. He is now using this against you, you were honest with him everyone has a past story hun even him.I think he’s using your (detail removed by Moderator) against you too, you have told him it helps you not to act on it but it’s like he doesn’t care as long as he gets his info. You are trying so hard to do anything and everything to please him but you’re never right that is exhausting I’ve been there ( well still am if I’m honest) I personally don’t think you owe him anything in my view you haven’t done anything wrong!
I really feel for you (detail removed by Moderator)? Sweetheart can it be any worse. Try not to blame yourself we are all here for some kind of help just to be listened to. If you can try the online chat on here you won’t be judged I promise.sorry for the long reply I just really feel you need to know that it’s not your fault.take care hun and your welcome to pm me if that would help
And always remember you do not deserve this xx

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Hi strong ladies I’m new here don’t know if I’m posting in the right place but I’m normally wrong so most likely. I really don’t know what to do so I’ll just say and see. I’ve been with my partner for (detail removed by moderator) we used to have happy times but very few now he drinks a lot everyday it’s getting so hard to even have a conversation with him if I try to talk he cuts me off, shouts over me or gets annoyed and aggressive to the point where he’s in my face with a weird look in his eyes spitting as he shouts. So I try to avoid talking when he’s drinking that doesn’t go well I try to talk to him when he’s not drinking I get ignored told I don’t know what I’m talking about he tells me to talk to him about anything when I do he gets really angry so I back off (detail removed by moderator). I used to be a strong happy person now I just feel like nothing to anyone except my kids I’m just trying to hold on but I never know what I’ve actually done to upset him it’s so confusing the dirty looks one word answers or storming off to bed without saying good night. I suffer with mental health (detail removed by moderator) now I don’t feel comfortable taking about it with him because he will use it against me at some point and I’m feeling very vulnerable right now like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff and I do one thing wrong and I’ll fall but I don’t know what wrong is with him anymore he hates I won’t talk to him about it but talk to professionals and for the last 3 days has been trying to get me to talk about it with his mum well I’m not doing that cuz obviously she will tell him. I’ve gave up now I haven’t eaten for weeks I can’t take anymore I give up no point in fighting I don’t have the strength anymore he has threatened to end his life twice (detail removed by moderator) so I have to be careful not to upset him or he will do it. Help me someone please xx

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Hi Reallyconfused,great advice from the ladies above and I agree with HfH about the books I’ve read Why does he do that and it really helped me understand the mindset of an abuser. I understand about feeling tired it’s absolutely draining.
It will be hard, but you know what is harder..living in fear with an abuser.
Proud of you for being here and keep posting x

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Bluey2022 hi and welcome.you are not alone sweetie I can tell you’re feeling really defeated right now but you’re in the right place for support and understanding.proud of you for posting take care hugs xx

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Hi Texas I’ve see your name on many posts on here your advice and support to us ladies is amazing.

Just wanted to say I’m really proud of you. sending you a hug x

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lover of no contact, thank you x

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Hi lover of no contact, the online chat would work better for me as he often puts recording devices or cameras around when he’s not here, very cleaver though as he covers the sensors so I don’t know when he’s accessing it at work or in bed.I honestly haven’t figured out if he’s just an alcoholic or is mentally abusing me to,I might do a post later seeing as I’m not allowed to (detail removed by Moderator) xx

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Lover of no contact thank you for the reply. I have definitely found help in reading the posts and today I have realised that although when I’m at home with him I am alone but when he’s gone bed I can come here and know completely that I am not. So many of us feeling the same xx

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