Grateful

[Grateful]

Kip I hope you have a better time soon. Big hug for giving so much support to others.

[Grateful]

Sci-figirl, that was such a good way to put it.
Every one is suggesting I sell the house (post divorce) yet it is the only place I feel settled and secure, curled up under the blanket watching TV. It might be where all the abuse happened but it is also my rock, from which I try to face the world.
Serenity, big hugs. You are always so supportive to others on this forum. I hope you arrive in a better state of mind soon.

[Grateful]

When the time is right for you, you will leave. You will be strong enough. Before I left i read this forum for months gaining awareness of abusers tactics and manipulation, trying to convince myself life on my own would be far better. I didn’t feel strong enough to post how I felt. One day no one was home and I just walked out. It was a spontaneous decision in the end One day you will leave – when you are ready.

[Grateful]

Lovely*

[Grateful]

Hi. I have had abuse counselling and it really helps. Try calling refuge or a local abuse charity for details.
Sometimes we expect the abuse so we goad the lively partner relentlessly ntil they behave how we expect them to – ie abuse us.

[Grateful]

Thanks KIP and IWMB. Yep, it’s the best Christmas present ever. 🙂

[Grateful]

You are so strong Iris Atwood. It is so hard to stay away but it will help to clear your vision and see his tactics for what they are. Any time you feel weak and want to make contact, read your last post and it will remind you of the reality. Big hug

[Grateful]

That’s why I think its so important to keep journals of what happened – I can remind myself of just how awful he was; it keeps me away from him now I’ve left.

[Grateful]

I feel your pain Mammabear. I too have been apart from my teenage child for several months now.
At least these men can be prosecuted for coercive control now.
Stay strong and take care. You will get better and happier.

[Grateful]

Thanks KIP. I shall remind my daughter not to say anything to him until we have everything sorted and she has moved out. You are so right about them becoming more unpredictable when we end the relationship. He really is getting desperate with his behaviour. I’ve previously read, on the forum, that this happens, but now I am seeing it with my own eyes.

[Grateful]

Thanks for the advice SunshineRainflower and KIP. Yes, my daughter is only staying for the pets! I shall start looking for a bigger place, as I just had a chat with my daughter who said she will come to live with me bringing the pets too of course.
Bizarrely my husband keeps telling me to speak to him to sort things out so that we dont spend too much on solicitor fees, but then he applies for these orders. He is a complete (detail removed by moderator) and just has to win and beat me at all costs.

[Grateful]

I admire your strength and echo what iwillbeok says. I have recently left my husband and occassionally I feel I miss him, but then I remind myself I miss what he could have been, not how he actually was.
Stay strong and keep going. You will reach a far better place, given time. Be kind to yourself in the meantime.

[Grateful]

As long as your boundaries are clearlying stated and you do not contact him other than allowed topics if there are any, i was told last week that after three warnings, they get arrested.

[Grateful]

Your words are so evocative and true hopelifejoy. I left my husband recently and am trying to ignite my inner flame but he keeps snuffing it out with constant texts,and calls. I cannot block him entirely as we have a business and children.
I only just realised the mirroring of my words takes place by reading your message.

[Grateful]

I’ve just read all these post whilst on public transport and probably appear quite mad as I’m crying and sniffing; I’m so delighted and impressed that you you got out!
You have been incredibly strong.
All the best for a better life without abuse.

[Author]

Posts