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Thank you for responding.
Yes I do feel safe with him, but I just feel like I sound like a broken record all the time. it’s difficult explaining how I’m feeling sometimes to someone who doesn’t fully understand domestic abuse and the lasting damage it really has on an individual.
A couple of times I’ve pushed him away and ended things. I’m trying not to hit the self destruct button…Again!!
I’ve had counselling three times, but still can’t shake this anxiety.
It’s affecting my sleep now plus when I’m really anxious my (detail removed by moderator) starts to creep back again.
He does tell me to try and stop (detail removed by moderator) and to open up to tell him what’s bothering me, but I just can’t.

[Pinkheart]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I am going through something very similar myself, and it’s absolutely exhausting!!
Have you tried speaking to your new partner about how you feel etc?

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Thank you for responding.
He knows everything about my past. He’s been so supportive and understanding. Even when I’ve tried to self sabotage and push him away.
I feel everything I never felt with my ex. He makes me feel safe, happy, loved, but even though I feel love for him I just can’t say it.
Relationships are tough😔…Especially when you’ve been in an abusive one in the past.

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Stay strong beautiful! 💪🏼💜

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Thank you both for responding. This is an ex from over 10 years ago!! No kids together. Never married, so I’m not really sure why they still have the connection?
Yes, she’s a mobile hairdresser and abit of a ‘tease’ his words…He said he doesn’t trust her one bit and is at peace with the fact the relationship ended and would never go back there again.
But still speaks to her. Definitely the reason why previous relationships before me have never lasted.
It’s also laughable that she’s married with kids now.
Trying to understand the male brain is mentally draining!!!

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Thank you so much! I’ll have a read and look on YouTube. I too have only been in one relationship.

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Thank you! I will have a look at that book.
I’ve enjoyed meeting new people and it has gave me more confidence, but now I feel a connection with someone I’ve automatically pushed him away to protect myself!

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We don’t have any contact other than through email re our children’s welfare.
He does try on there to push boundaries and make jokes, but I keep everything straight to the point. I don’t even say hi!
Everything else is through our children. If they ring asking to stay longer etc. I know that’s him manipulating the situation and wanting to cause issues for me if I say no, which he knows I wouldn’t because I don’t want the fall out.

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Thank you for responding. I constantly feel like I’ve got to plan stuff for when I have my children, otherwise he will try and make arrangements.
He also does this when I book annual leave. He will ask can he have them for something in the middle of my week, so he can break that up too! I have started saying no!! Or he’ll constantly call or text then saying he has a surprise etc. It’s really frustrating!! Because I don’t do that to him.
I really need strict boundaries. I’m struggling where to find help?
I’ve been told by a few solicitors it’s difficult for me to do a parental plan without him. I just want to put a plan through his door and for him to sign! I know easier said than done.

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Thank you for responding! I definitely needed to hear that. 🙂

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Thank you! I needed to hear that. 🙂

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Thank you for the responses, I definitely needed to hear that!
I have no contact with him now at all, and all information is sent through our children. I have said I don’t wish to hear anything about him! He even asked our children what my reaction was about his girlfriend??
I also hate the thought of what story he has told her. I know I can’t do anything about that other than knock on her door and look like the (detail removed by Moderator) ex wife he has painted me to be…Which I wouldn’t do because that will be what he wants!

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