Sleepypigeon

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi, I just wanted to say I understand the feeling that you describe. I have felt this way lately but you can and will get through this. You have shown such strength In leaving. I am so sorry that he is harrasing you and trying to get into your head.
I am unsure of your situation, whether this is a family home he had access to, if so can you get the locks changed? then if he did it again call the police.
Your safety is most important.
I know you are feeling tired, drained even, can you stay with a friend or ask someone over so your not alone?
Be kind to yourself.
Sending a hug x

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi,
Iv booked a couple days away for me and my kids. Something to look forward to and an escape if you like.
Going to make some us memories, and do what we like.
Although I’m anxious about it I am determined to make it great for them.
X

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi, I understand how you feel, as I am also feeling the same way, a shell of the person I used to be and I hate how I am left like this while he has got on with life.
I can not tell you what to do regards reporting, this is entirely up to you. But you are free, that takes strength, and your stronger than you give yourself credit for. Perhaps seek free advice from a professional and see what they say and decide from there. Also keep reaching out, everyone here understands and is there for you.
I have been advised to look after me, which I am doing, it is a rollercoaster, but hopefully will get better.
We can get past this and you deserve so much better.
I to can not imagine being with anyone else after ex, but even that sad thought is better than being with him.
Take care. Message anytime.
X

[Sleepypigeon]

I just feel so alone in this

[Sleepypigeon]

Thanks for your responses ladies, I was letting out what was in my head this morning after little sleep. Iv been having nightmares recently about the ex.
Unsure how I got to thinking about my father.
My dad lacks emotion, empathy, he’s selfish, doesn’t understand me, never listens, it’s all about him. Everyone thinks he’s wonderful, he’s always helping people, yet he’s needy with me and I do lots for him but it’s not enough. I need him to be there for me but I feel like the parent.
i remember a different man when I was young. An angry person, who shouted a lot, and who we were afraid to upset.
Maybe I was just trying to make a connection to make sense.
Think I just feel alone in that he is the only family so there’s no one there for me.
Maybe he’s just like darcy said, 30 yrs older and a man. Why would he understand me.

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi Tracker, I just wanted to reach out and say I understand exactly how you are feeling. I have been free a few months and still feel up and down. Very isolated and lonely at times. I am currently reading the book that Darcy has recommended, and listening to podcasts etc At times it can be all consuming and its all I think about in my need to understand and make sense of the confusion. I have great friends but they do not understand and I don’t want to keep going on to them, so I feel I have pulled back from them recently. I so desperately want to feel normal, like me again and gain back what little confidence I had. I am taking it one day at a time, and making small steps. Try to do 1 thing just for you everyday. It may not seem much but it does help. Sending a hug, cause we could all do with one sometimes 🤗 (it’s what I miss most) x

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi, he is just trying to win you round by making you feel guilty, I no its difficult but please block him on everything and do not respond to anything, even if he tries to contact you by any means. I certainly don’t want to scare you but I have been told and found out that once you leave they can change and things can escalate. Build support for yourself with friends family colleagues and reach out to womans aid as they are a great support. I was also recommended to read up on types of abuse etc as education is power for us. Keep a journal of all things, and keep the messages in case you need them in future, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Most importantly Look after yourself, and try not to think of him (that’s easier said than done) but you must remind yourself of the reasons you left in the first place. These men don’t change for the better. Take care x

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi stuck here,
I wanted to let you know I understand. My ex also went through periods of being nice and everything was good but this was only to draw me back in before things got worse.
He seemly hated one of my friends also, at first it was just the odd comment, then over time this became more frequent negative comments and trying to turn me against her. I think he was threatened as she didn’t like him and saw through who he was and stuck by me which I’m very grateful for. He also tried this with other friends, more so the strong independent ones, ones he saw as a threat I guess.
Unfortunately as much as we want to believe these men are good deep down or this is a rough patch or whatever they will not change or get better. Reach out to womans aid, they are very supportive and can tell you your options should you choose to leave. I did, and although it’s tough I’m glad I did. Sending you support and a gentle hug x

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi Neueranfang, I know how painful this is and upsetting when his family turn against you, I had this happen also. Unfortunately as the other ladies have said they will always side with him, they don’t or can’t admit what you say is true.
You have done the best thing for you and your children, hold on to that thought, and that you are free from him. Sending hugs

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi,

Completely understand this to.
Lockdown was good in the sense after I got out of the relationship with ex I didn’t have to face anyone. But then I got used to the isolation and struggling now that things are opening up.
I have a few close friends but they are married so I don’t fit in with them now.
It does hurt seeing others out doing family things together. Trying my best to do things on my own and keep going for my kids but it is lonely and difficult at times.
Just wanted to share that I’m feeling the same, and that your not alone in these feelings.
Xx

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi, I totally understand these feelings I am also fighting them everyday just now, not many people understand so I am glad you have a friend you can reach out to and so happy you did.
Life can be unfair, I feel often, why me what did I do to deserve this life.
But we have an inner strength somehow that keeps us going.
You are strong and brave and must remind yourself everyday that you deserve better than you have had.
Sending virtual hug cause we could all use one x

[Sleepypigeon]

I’m working on me, trying to heal, working through stuff that’s why I think all this other stuff is coming up.
Also trying to help my young teen deal with issues with their dad. Hard age and also rollercoaster of emotions.
We have talked a lot this weekend, it breaks My heart they are dealing with this to.
It’s difficult as I can’t or won’t tell my child what to think about their dad I just talk from my point of view and why I have walked away, from their dad and recent ex, talked about boundaries, hoping that they can make up their own mind. They do know what their dad’s like, and struggles with the way he can be.
Wish I had a magic wand 🪄🙄

[Sleepypigeon]

Thanks for your advice I am going to look into this, dont want to add fuel to this but need to do something I think.

[Sleepypigeon]

Thanks Darcy

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi Darcy, thanks for your kind words and I’m so sorry you did not find support when you needed it.
I certainly don’t want to put anyone of going to their doc,that’s not my intention, I was just venting as I was just hurt at his response. I have been supported by a WA lady who has been lovely and understanding. Iv Just been really up and down lately and that’s why I went to the doc.
I’m usually quite a independent and determined person (that part of me has been suppressed for a while) but I know what you mean, it’s do or die, we have to keep fighting our own battles and rely on ourselves in the end, only we can get through and overcome this. Deep down I know this, sometimes I just need reminded, plus i could really do with a hug!
I hope no-one is put of by my experience, I would hope the majority of docs etc will be supportive its just the few that may not.
Thanks for your support I really appreciate you and all the ladies on here x

[Author]

Posts