Stupidgirl40

[Stupidgirl40]

(detail removed by moderator) years!

[Stupidgirl40]

Hi I haven’t been on here for a long while as the relationship ended almost (detail removed by moderator) years ago after (detail removed by moderator) years but I just wanted to say your man sounds exactly like my ex! Very abusive and when you get out you realise how bad it was. Best thing I ever did getting put but I kick myself all the time about not doing it sooner! Please don’t waste any more time on him hoping he will change or listening to what he thinks because he is wrong xx

[Stupidgirl40]

Hi
Your story has struck such a chord with me. This is not mild and most abusers r nice the majority of the time. I am in the process of divorcing mine after almost two decades. We could go a couple of years with no incidents and he also sought professional help but it never goes away for good. If I had my time again I would get out much earlier. My overusing feelings are guilt for the children that I didn’t stop the relationship before now. Please don’t leave it so long. These men never change and we all hope they will buy they don’t. Don’t waste more of your life on him x

[Stupidgirl40]

Hi mixed up mum your story is identical to mine so much so I could have written it! My daughter dislikes her dad a huge amount roo and once we have our own houses I doubt she will ever see him. My younger son as yours did not see so much so has a better relationship but as time goes on they will see the true colours come through as these men never change x

[Stupidgirl40]

Will do thanks x

[Stupidgirl40]

Sorry at risk!

[Stupidgirl40]

This makes my heart race just thinking about you as know exactly how this behaviour makes you feel. He is just trying to get a reaction out of you but only you know how at rush you could be. Try n stay away from him like I am sure you are doing but get out if you need to. I am too living with my ex while the divorce goes through and it can be very scary so please stay safe x

[Stupidgirl40]

Thanks for your reply. You are right it’s not fair as he earns alot more than me but it keeps him off my back for now until the house sells x

[Stupidgirl40]

Hi moon so glad you are safe and away from this man. You are doing your best and that is all any of us can do. We are not here to judge each other only to support. Sounds like u r very brave to have got away again. Be kind to yourself and that is the best thing you can do for your daughter. X

[Stupidgirl40]

So lovely to hear this. I am still stuck in the house waiting for divorce n house sale. I simply cannot wait for my own little place with my 2 teenagers. To do what we want when we want! Never wanted anything so much in my life x

[Stupidgirl40]

Yes very true and I think unless you have been with someone who is like this you don’t believe someone can be do calculating horrible and unstable yet so lovely to others. Even my kids see it and say he believes his own lies so why won’t others. Sad but I just want us to be free of him and the others will realise with time. It’s good to come on here and not feel so alone x

[Stupidgirl40]

Good luck for tomorrow! I have read all your posts and hoped you would b free soon. I will b the same when I move out aa no idea how to do anything but we can all learn x

[Stupidgirl40]

Thanks that’s what my friends say too. It’s nice to read all you ladies comments as I feel less insane as unless u have been through it it’s hard to understand x

[Stupidgirl40]

There are days when you feel stronger than others and I feel worse if I am tired or ill buy it is all a process and once you have gone through it that’s it it’s done x

[Stupidgirl40]

Yes very true less baggage and also all the wasted extra time I gave us means I am 100 % sure this time. Your gut is never wrong. He had a right go at me n kids today it’s awful being in the same house but no matter what I still feel free on the inside and that is important to me x

[Stupidgirl40]

Exercise is a good distraction I need to start going again once the nights get longer. These men are hard work x

[Stupidgirl40]

Me too! I stupidly had one last year and took him back so need to get it again but this time I will cherish it x

[Stupidgirl40]

I think he will find anything to call u out on. If I say something is black my ex says it’s white. It’s like dealing with a toddler any attention is good even if it’s for something bad am living with mine until our house sells in separate rooms so it’s good fun playing the avoidance game. I find he speaks when he thinks of something that may wind me up but I consider my reply carefully and am always factual just try n stay calm with your responses and don’t let him get to you. I just keep thinking every day is one day closer to freedom x

[Stupidgirl40]

I am jealous too well done! All good things come to those who wait ladies x

[Stupidgirl40]

You are so right people do tell you to keep trying including my husband said this to me many times but one day I just thought the one thing I will regret is how long I tried and wish I had got out sooner. Even if he was Mt perfect we are all entitled to leave the ones we choose not to be with anymore. I just tell people I have tried for long enough and I don’t want to keep trying as life is too short x

[Stupidgirl40]

Hi I have had my husband behave in exactly this way for alot of years and also fought back alot of the time even if I hit him just once it made me feel better. Others see the situation as us fighting when it is definitely not that. Everyone has a right to defend themselves and over the years I did it less. I have not starred divorce proceedings for the 2nd time of which this one I am determined I will see through. The time comes when enough is enough and if u get a chance to end it now just go with it cos things do not change x

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