True2myself

[True2myself]

Thank you everyone. Sorry just getting to reply now.

[True2myself]

Congratulations 🎊 x

[True2myself]

You just summed up the reason I logged in. I was gonna post but I’ll add to this…

I feel the exact same. Yesterday I was great and today I’m not. I feel like I did when he was here doing things. I guess it’s the trauma ptsd but it’s difficult to cope with sometimes.

[True2myself]

It got so much worse  (detail removed by moderator). All reported. I’ll get calls from that (detail removed by moderator). I can’t sleep. Feel scared. He talked to my kid with such anger about me. Social services don’t do nothing about it. Hopefully they will when they read my message (detail removed by moderator).

[True2myself]

Thank you. (detail removed by moderator) he’s been a nightmare again. I’ve reported it all again. They think it’s too subtle but it’s control. My head is really buzzy from him screaming at me. I’m gonna take tonight to just feel sorry for myself and pull myself together again tomorrow. Dunno how they can go on knowing what they do to us. Thank you for all the replies

[True2myself]

Yeah I’m doing not too bad. This week I’ve sorted out lot of bills and I’m gonna pay them myself. So I can really give him back a expensive phone bill and walk away from it? If u take away the fear of what he will do if I do this. Sorry to be a pain. I’m very loyal when it comes to bills and wouldn’t leave anyone in trouble.

[True2myself]

I feel if I give him phone back and leave him with the bill, he won’t like it and will come for me

[True2myself]

Yes he’s controlling me like crazy. I called EE and they said not 1 thing they can do. I have own EE account I created for my kids and I. But I got my daughters then tried to move mine and my sons over but they refused it. We are both now stuck with him

[True2myself]

I totally get this. My kids are older so don’t like to sit and chat with me. Few weeks ago I had a freak out that all my street were in garden having fun and I found myself feeling very alone. I’m so feeling same but it’s a little bit easier now I expect it. Kids never wanna go out and want to just stay in their rooms, I have zero interest in going out with friend or family. I just sit with the dog all day. I don’t really know what this means though. Just want left alone and chat to ppl online who understand.

[True2myself]

Thank you. Yeah I trying to go walks just too much happening just now that I don’t feel so safe outside. Its nice to meet you too

[True2myself]

Thank you so much

[True2myself]

Thank you and sorry this happened to you too. Yeah I’m totally isolated. I kinda was anyway cos of my first ex. That was a long marriage. But yeah now I lock my doors again and I stay upstairs so he can’t see me. I’m a mess

[True2myself]

Thank you. I see now I was used the whole time. He also used my past to control me.

[True2myself]

Don’t worry though just get help and supportive ppl like woman’s aid and it will be the best thing you done. Seeing my kids proper laughing just melts my heart and makes it worth it.

[True2myself]

He will find out about my win via a restraining order (detail removed by Moderator)

[True2myself]

Hey I’m sorry, just my experience. He goes through my children now, he wants us out the house, he won’t help financially, he tells them bad things about me, any opportunity to put me down he will. He tries to discourage us from our support system. He has a restraining order so can’t come direct for me. He can get in the house so sometimes I wake up and doors are open.

But

It’s still better than being with him. I’ll be real ok, it’s hard but soooo worth it. My children now laugh, a real laugh, not a stressed out laugh. My head is clearer to certain extent. I have severe c-ptsd and struggle but not as bad but I do sometimes think when I was with him I knew the signs and knew what was coming but now I don’t until its too late but I’m telling you this not to scare you but to let you know its normal to feel this way. Each day I get stronger, I’m not quite t there yet cos so got things to sort out but hopefully our future looks great. I took kids on holiday and we bonded which was much needed after being in abuse so long. Longgg marriage it was. Just concentrate on your kids when you’re out and try let lawyers deal with him. I’m learning that, I tried to juggle everything but now I realise I have to just concentrate on kids and let whatever he is doing be on the outside of our happiness 😊

[True2myself]

Thank you. All that made me smile. Just now he is still abusing us but putting that to the side just now…we are living very strange life just now. Can’t have noise, no tvs on, we have to put ear defenders on and scared to go out. Also don’t wanna go out. Lock the door and stay in my bedroom. My children have turned into my parents. They tell me off and things. It’s so hard and I’ve lost All happiness although someone did say some ideas today that might help. I’m just stuck but they say I’m going forward but I don’t think so. He thinks I’m playing games with my lawyer against him, so he’s doing the same. Only thing is I’m doing nothing with lawyer. All in his head. I’m too heartbroken to even try. She is sorting divorce though

[True2myself]

You have no idea how much I need a hug. I’m alone here with my dog and children but the dynamics have changed. So it’s just me and th pressure gets too much. I hear his voice most of the day cos daughter has speaker on. I know it sounds really pathetic but I do need a hug. Just so much evil. I do have good people in my life but they are like professional ppl and some from here. Thank you

[True2myself]

Thank you. You all do so amazing. I don’t post anymore but I’m around. His sentencing isn’t over yet. It’s been split in 2. Will see what happens but at the moment he’s taking everyone in abuser and he’s broken by his trauma blah blah. Just doesn’t end for me. This is our first Christmas without him and I’m wanting to make it really good for children. It’s gonna be weird Christmas without police

[True2myself]

Definitely. Forums and support group keep me going

[True2myself]

❤❤❤

[True2myself]

Thank you so much ❤can’t even begin to explain the huge benefit I’ve had from this forum and the amazing messages.

[True2myself]

Thank you so much. (detail removed by Moderator) brought good news but now need to wait (detail removed by Moderator) which isn’t too far away. It’s tough on the children. I’m scared how they will feel

[True2myself]

Aw thank you. I’m OK, fed up of his self pity though. He’s detached from being a parent cos he’s sad. I told him I never wanna see him again and next day he asked me a favour. What planet do these ppl live on. I said no then got like of emotional abuse. It’s so up and down. Sometimes I’m OK and sometimes I have to call helplines. I wish court case would hurry up.

[True2myself]

Thank you, it makes sense yeah. I have no contact with him for few days. He was doing OK but then the fake slipped and the abuse continued. I hate the abuse feeling. It’s like I want to wash it off but it’s not going away.

[True2myself]

Yeah mine are high school age, one is also worse than the other and the worse one was my husbands side kick and his go to. School runs are a nightmare, I know they should understand a bit and are down up enough to be good but I dunno nothing I do is good enough. Its so bad he let’s kids down, it’s just the worst. I’m so proud of you getting better at it, it’s so hard when we have our emotions and trauma, then looking after kids and bills and everything that comes with it all. Thanks for your message I know its a comfort that I’m not alone but sad others go thru this too. It hurts so bad when our kids treat us like this, even though it’s not their fault it still hurts. They have us though and we are strong and still continue to be strong and get support when we need it from those who understand. Thank you

[True2myself]

Yeah they are just evil… today I’ve had nothing but verbal abuse and stress. He’s forgotten what he’s done or is all fake and he never did know what he done. My brain feels paralysed just now. I’ve reported what he’s done this weekend

[True2myself]

Thank you, your exactly correct. They are both (detail removed by moderator). My link worker says it sounds like they are continuing the abuse. One of them was his side kick but he manipulated both. He’s used them to hurt me to the point of saying he will put them in care cos it will hurt me. I’m almost in shock at how he’s being yet I shouldn’t be after everything that he’s done. He only thinks about himself. I wish I could describe what’s happened now but now I can’t in public forum. Sometimes I just don’t feel strong enough and tidy is one of them days. Everything you said is true. My son (detail removed by moderator) and I dunno I do feel scared at times when he shouts at me.

[True2myself]

Yeah I understand, just know he’s not gonna be happy and I’m so sick of this life as I’m trying to keep everyone and myself safe. Just want left alone

[True2myself]

Yes and I actually see that. She takes phone to him and he moans at her so then they bicker. It’s really stressful getting him to talk to his dad. I just don’t think he’s interested. I’ll mention to social worker again

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