Sparkle1

[Sparkle1]

I was so nervous about gong back on there because of him so I literally only have my friends and family and my account is closed to public I had blocked him and his family etc so that I wasn’t being watched I don’t know how he knows, he makes out facebook is sexbook but I wouldn’t ever use it for that I just wanted to build bridges with my friends and family that I lost touch with and the jewellery was always given to me after a massive fallouts so (detail removed by moderator) even though I used to say I don’t want his gifts I just wanted to be treated right because I know he always wants everything back as soon as things go wrong and now he is acting like the victim i’m so sick of it 🙁 xx

[Sparkle1]

No contact is the only way I have learnt a massive lesson I kept the contact like you I would get nasty then nice messages depending on his mood and after months of separation I ended up back giving him yet another chance and have just got him back out of my house! All the promises in the world never changed him in fact he was worse this time. I found it hard to cut him off I missed the nice parts and bit by bit I found myself completely in denial & forgetting the bad and romanticising about the good parts, it happens so gradually & before you know it they are back in your head and your life and it’s not worth the trauma it brings because they just don’t change. Thinking of you I know it’s hard especially when your feelings take over xx

[Sparkle1]

Couldn’t agree with you more they are completely anti life ! This is my husband too ! He even wanted all the blinds closed in the house because he didn’t like the light so we used to constantly be shut indoors in darkness xx

[Sparkle1]

In the very short time my husband was back he pressured me to try and move house as he hates my house and wants somewhere together, get pregnant again, stop talking to my neighbours, not answer the door to visitors, stop being on my phone, stop being so friendly as he’s apparently never met someone as friendly as me and then went on to say again the reason it worked so well with his ex of 6 years was because she always put him first and wasn’t interested in anything apart from their lives and if he didn’t like someone she would cut them off… whenever I tried to stand up for myself as I actually felt really hurt by the things he was saying he accused me of being a drama queen and over-reacting but I don’t feel that I should have to be spoken to like that xx

[Sparkle1]

Thank you ladies he left my house last night after I told him I cannot be controlled and put down anymore I think now that he just came back to punish me, put me down and make me feel guilty! I can’t go back to that bad place definitely no contact this time xx

[Sparkle1]

How are you feeling today kindhearted15 ? xx

[Sparkle1]

It’s so hard when you still love them and the relationship not being what you hoped it would be, my ex is in counselling and has admitted he was at fault but I’m still worried that it might go back to how it was if I let him back into my life, he is in his own flat now so I wouldn’t let him move back into my house but I think my biggest struggle is how I dealt with it all when it went wrong I told people that I shouldn’t of because they have used the information they had as a weapon against me and on top of trying to clear my head about my husband’s behaviour towards me I am also dealing with how my mum and friend controlled & interfered in my life so much too. I think it’s all about boundaries I am now standing up for myself with everyone so there have been a few fall outs but I can’t spend my life being dictated too and since my husband left and everyone else has taken over I feel like I’m drowning! xx

[Sparkle1]

Everything you said is so true to my life and it’s only now that I can see it so clearly I can see now how I got so low trying to please everyone around me especially my husband, my mum and my friend because they all had unreal expectations on my time I was never going to win xx

[Sparkle1]

Its so hard I’ve even fallen out with a close friend because I finally stood up to her this week and told her I don’t need her to be so aggressive to me about him, I know the reasons it was wrong which is why I got out so having it constantly rammed down my throat doesn’t help especially when her life isn’t any better with her partner but she is still with him ! The thing is you shouldn’t have to apologise for how you feel or sneak around because the fear of people close to you giving you grief, I know its because they care but sometimes you can end up feeling bullied and controlled by friends and family too and that is where I am at the moment, I really want to believe that he realises how he behaved was wrong and that we could have the normal life I always wanted because I don’t actually want to be with anyone else but it’s scary because can they actually change… xx

[Sparkle1]

Im going through the same struggle of not being able to stay away 🙁 my ex was not physically abusive he was controlling and I lived on eggshells it’s so hard because everyone close to me knows what I went through so I don’t feel like I can be honest with them and say that I still love him and miss the good parts because i constantly have it rammed down my throat if I even mention his name, its crazy how they can make you feel so low when your with them but then when your apart they are the only ones that make it feel better when you speak or meet up again! xx

[Sparkle1]

Thanks missgiddypants I think I’ve finally had enough of trying to keep the peace and suffering in silence we all fight are own battles i really feel that I don’t want her in my life anymore because she makes me feel bad about myself and ridicules me because of my relationship it’s just cruel xx

[Sparkle1]

Thank you for listening I feel like I’ve got no where else to turn to be honest about how I really feel and I would usually apologise for what I said to her today but for the first time I stood up to her and I am not saying sorry because I have put up with her especially being so opinionated and controlling with me when her own life is a mess and I just stay silent, she was the main reason I got him out of my house because she constantly hounded me about how wrong my relationship was and now I’m out I feel like it was for her own benefit she uses me as an excuse for when she meets up with her affair even left me in a night out to meet him and as soon as I say anything about feeling sad or missing my ex she comes down on me full force and Im starting to realise her intentions are not good xx

[Sparkle1]

You should be so proud of yourself well done for finding the strength to get him out, thinking of you hope your ok xx

[Sparkle1]

That’s exactly how I felt everyone used to notice my eyes how drained and tired I always looked they felt bloodshot and its definitely the stress your living under because once I found the strength to get him out for good the first thing people noticed was my eyes were sparkling again I looked alive ! I know its not an easy decision but its the best decision I ever made because it never changes a relationship should better you not make you ill, thinking of you hope your ok xxx

[Sparkle1]

Thank you ladies I had a nice time he was a true gent opening doors wouldn’t let me pay for anything we didn’t discuss my ex at all I was only out for a couple of hours I felt quite anxious and I don’t know if I would go on a second date he was extremely posh and I didn’t feel attracted to him but it was nice to go out and be treated as my ex never took me anywhere xx

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