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Thank you ladies for your replies .Beach hut I think you hit the nail in the head .Do it when the time is right when I’m ready .I still have a few years yet .It’s only last couple years I’ve started to take care of myself and when my friend mentioned about my house good idea but same time I think it really triggered me which I didn’t like .Even going through solicitor the thought have to deal with him again right now is not right time .Is it normal to still have triggers even after few years not being together xx

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Thank you Lisa and Scottish thistle for your advice really do appreciate it .Ive come a long way since we split up .Even after many years apart I still sometimes doubt myself and think WHY are you still making things difficult out .If you were turkey happy you wouldn’t be doing these sometimes hurt full things .Im still single chose to be like that many friends etc do not understand why I’m not bothered meeting anyone new .Between me children we have a safety bubble .Still to afraid to let a make figure in x

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Thank you Lisa and fizzylem for your advice much appreciated.I go through child maintenance regards to money for our children but he still messing me about .Will have to get in touch with child maintenance again .My thoughts rang true even further .One of our children’s birthdays .He sent a card that he wrote to say he’d been injured in work (detail removed by moderator) and will make it up to our child another time .No money inside not even a small amount not supprised .Funny tho his partner said recently to someone he was away for Xmas working 🤔.Even after all these years he’s still looking to hurt punish me .He is the one that’s moved one had another child x

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Thank you ladies for your reply’s I really do appreciate your feedback .Have Not Had a good day today at all feeling very overwhelmed so much everyday tasking home kids to do .Doing everything myself .Feeling angry dealing loss of a loved one passed away suddenly recently as well .So feeling angry just needing time out but can’t feeling like emotionally I’m unraveling inside so tired of feeling pain x

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How to do handle someone you have to work with who acts like that ? Rise above it which is hard but she even holds grudges silliest things x

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Thank you Ladies for Taken time to reply to my post .A lot what you all say makes sense .Ill try also some tips you’ve all mentioned .Ive done freedom programme and behaviour type program to be more positive etc .Ive come along way over years but deep down I don’t think I’m fully over what my Ex husband did to me kids .Read lot of posts Regards to Is it abuse leaving abusive Ex etc but don’t read as many posts how women are managing years down the line from emotional abuse etc .I know some people go from one abusive partner to another or someone like me has never gone proper date in years as totally put off with men xxx

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Thank you Kip for your reply .He has been reported and I’ll be making sure they have a word with him.Like I said his target was always me but now he’s gone to another leval
His own child .What he’s capable is beyond words and how low he’ll go .Nice one minute a monster the next .Know again I would think I wonder if he’s changed then I have a light bulb moment shivers go through my body .A horrible reminder that abusers NEVER change x

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Thank you ladies for your messages .What I’ve told my kids although my Dad was taken to soon .Hold my Dad as more of a role model on how a man should behave .Rather than there own Dad who was complete opposite .Who always put himself first and didn’t give a Dam who he hurt along the way x

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Thankyou Fizzylem got your reply .You made a very good point in your reply .How my Ex might get a buzz when contacting me when he’s not working .The CM is the only thing that we have contact control over now .As far as I’m aware he’s no longer with his partner or at least things are not rosey with them at present .He did leave me a message regards to why he’s not working etc etc moment .I did not reply I got my point across he knows when he’s doing .Just can not be bothered with instant excuses .Took I very long time but I can never properly rely on him he does what suits him all the time x

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Thank you ladies for your replies Much appreciated.What you have both mentioned my gut instinct was telling me .As much as you’d like to you can’t reason with these type of men.Full excuses it can be very draining the least contact you have the better .

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Hi pasta .I totally get what your saying and to anyone else who have not been in our situation would think we’re crazy .Im not in a relationship st the moment .I did have a bit reality check recently tho .I had not seen my Ex husband months and I was missing the closeness sex etc .I think more Feeling of the excitement with these men as we know deep down we shouldn’t go there .Anyway I came face to face with recently again I felt a slight thrill excitement even but I spoke to him what he was saying etc changed man etc etc I could tell he was lieing even putting down his partner down .I thought afterwards seriously I wouldn’t want him in my life the way he is .As he could not give me the love I deserve .If your man treats you we’ll hand on to him .As your lucky to have found a good man xxx

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Thank you both ladies for your replies today .Yes this weekend brought back old feelings even after all these years but it also proves he has not changed for the better .Still lies puts people down plays the victim.As for his youngest child I hope I’m wrong but if he’s anything to go by he let down our kids badly .He also has an older child that he’s never bothered with .Fizzylem your reply really brought home how I’ve been feeling lately .Like you said he had his chance he blew it time after time xx

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Lovely story .Yes I do believe in fate to .Good luck fir the future x

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I think Kip .One best things I try to manage it all is self care .Its not always easy to do with having kids working etc .I think certain situations I do feel worse .A lot with me thinking worst fear not feeling good enough mainly all from abuse I have experienced .The other day I felt so overwhelmed felt I was going crazy .So my friend told me to sit down when just few minutes longer if possible .Breath relax that brain if yours .Like a cut broken leg it gets treated .With the brain way we think it’s a lot harder .xxx

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Gosh ladies .Reading your posts I feel the same I thought it was just me .Its been s long while since me Ex husband split but I always see worse bad things .Sometimes my feelings get a bit much can’t think relationally .Ive come along way but this explains I’m still not 100 per cent and might never will be .Its got to be with all these men have put as through mentally physically xxx

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