Amaguq

[Amaguq]

Hi Starmoon,
I completely identify with your post (like the majority on here)
My self blaming was daily and still is, “if I had done this/that he wouldn’t have hit me, or if only I did’t say that or did that”
So many things Starmoon and so many days I think my life would be better back with him but I know, I just can’t,for my own safety.

Kip is correct, we just need the fog to clear.

Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Citrine,
I just looked on the Government website, well, thank you for high lighting this issue, it looks like it is the price for freedom, WTF springs to mind, haven’t we gone through enough?

Thank you and the best of luck to you too xx

[Amaguq]

no* always proof read lol

[Amaguq]

Hi Citrine,
Gosh, I thought we could get legal aid?
I am about to go on that route in a few weeks with the solicitor.

Fingers crossed that we are able to get legal aid.

Best of luck, I think I may need it lol xx

[Amaguq]

Not sure what happened there lol
it sounds like you have little family support and I only hope that the children will understand one day, I don’t know how old your son is but to watch awful stuff like that is just so totally wrong, I suppose it makes them look COOL ‘sigh’

I say to myself daily, the truth always comes out in the end.

Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Bridgetjones goes free,
I can feel your pain and wish I could help more, my kids still live with their family and three of my children can be very rude to me when I call (

[Amaguq]

Hi Karmasister,
Sending more hugggggsssssss, I can feel your inside screaming out 🙁 we all know that feeling, sadly 🙁

You certainly are not crazy, the abusers make us feel that way, they’re manipulative!

Glad the police are involved and you must call them if he gets angry when he gets back, please, call them.
Women’s Aid have helped me so much, like the ladies on here, you are not alone and by the way, I like your user name, Karmasister, take care and for once in your life, look after number 1, your safety is paramount xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Ruby2stones.

I am so sorry this happened to you but I can only reiterate what Sunshine said.

Take care and don’t give up xx

[Amaguq]

Hi anotherlife,
What a lovely post 🙂 I totally agree.
When I first came on to this wonderful forum, I read so much and was an emotional wreck because I could identify and I honestly thought I was the only one.

I am certainly not alone anymore, none of us are, thanks ladies xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Karmasister,
Huggggggssssssss please ring the helpline, I identify with your post but please seek help, I promise, it will be the best move you make.

Bruises heal, but emotional scars are still there for me.

We only have one life, is it really worth to be so unhappy? the answer is a big fat NO.

Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Cloudyday.
Sending you huggggggsssss, I can totally relate to your post (like I do with the majority on here)
You have had some very good advice, call the helpline. Life is too short for us to walk on eggshells any longer.

Best of luck and remember, you’re not alone anymore xxx

[Amaguq]

Hi Starmoon,
Something jumped out on me with your post ” then nothing he ever said or did (non of the good stuff) was real… it was all a means of gaining fuel from me.”

I am finding myself continuously thinking about the good times and I know I need to focus on that bad when it comes to him.
He also thinks his behaviour is “normal” still does, I am the liar and all was my fault, it is easier to cope with on the telephone because I can just put the phone down.

If it is allowed, please let me know the name and author of the book please.

Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Thank you ladies, did I just say Thank you again? lol
Take care :)xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Tiredone,
Hugggggssssss
I can relate so much with this post (I do with very many)

Panic attacks are awful things, I tend to find the panic prior attending anywhere is far worse than the actual event.

You stated ” (detail removed by moderator) was one of my passions” try and focus on that passion, it sounds like it is a safe place and if need be, have an excuse ready, if you feel the need to leave. It sounds like it is a safe place, he can’t get to you, focus on that passion 🙂 We can’t allow them to control us any longer.
Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Mayflower,
Huggggsssssss
Self doubting, I have found, seems to be very common with us, abused. I struggle with the words abused, victim, trauma but I know they are facts.
I doubt myself frequently “maybe it was my fault”
Stupidly believing that is was “normal married life” but knowing how wrong it was.

I do hope the waiting list is not too long for counselling and the best of luck xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Tiffany, I never send explicit pics and neither does he, (detail removed by Moderator)

I thought I was a intelligent woman but I have come to realise, manipulators are exceptionally clever, they do it so very cleverly, very slowly before your eyes but you don’t see it until afterwards, sadly.

When my sibling (best friend) died suddenly, it made me realise that life is too short.
Go with your gut feeling Tiffany, I used to ignore it but no longer.

Take care x

[Amaguq]

“I read that abusers create a sort of sexual addiction the way they create an addiction/dependency in other ways. When we leave it feels like going cold turkey for a heroin addict.”

That me cry when I read that Sunshine, thank you so much for opening my eyes!

I can also identify with your words Tiffany, I am not sure if my words will be removed but have you tried sexting?
A friend whom doesn’t live in this Country but does live in a English speaking Country declared his love to me and I was/still am scared.
|
This man made the first move and I was blown away! I am a woman of a certain age and had never done anything like that before, this is such a personal thing for me to reveal but I find it satisfying without the fear of penetration.

The feeling of a someone holding you close is not there but also, the feeling of fear isn’t also.

Things will return to some kind of ‘normal’ eventually, really hope so.

Now sitting here thinking “should I post this?” lol

Take care ladies <3

[Amaguq]

Thanks for this Janedoeissad xx

[Amaguq]

It is a crime, to live in fear, walking on eggshells constantly.
The manipulators always seem to have the upper hand, because our minds aren’t wired the same, we can’t stay one step ahead.

My physical scars have healed, my mental ones, nah. I have no evidence, he disposed of all the notes I wrote to myself, no hiding place was safe for them so I stopped keeping records.

Sorry, I rambled.
Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Thanks for this thread, I really thought I was the only one.
Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Whoop Dragonfly! I love Karma!
I hope you’re still smiling 🙂 xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Mummyboo,

Huggggggsssssssss
I agree with the above posts, you don’t need that constant stress!

You’re not a horrible person, they make us question ourselves. You are doing the right thing for your own well being, you have the kids to think about so please look after Number one, YOU! you’re worth it 🙂 xx

So pleased you are getting help, keep posting, you aren’t alone 🙂
Take care xx

[Amaguq]

Hi Starmoon,
Hugggggggggssssss
You were not unreasonable at all! why do they make us feel that everything is our fault? and then we start to question ourselves like we are going crazy?

THEY are liars, controlling manipulators! know how to play our chords in every way!
I have had enough of living with my self doubts but still can’t be clear of them. I want to be the person I once was before I met him. Time will tell.

You take care Starmoon and remember, THEY are what they are. We can only remain true to ourselves. xx

[Amaguq]

So many wise words 🙂

[Amaguq]

This was sent to me earlier 🙂

[Amaguq]

Well done and best of luck 🙂 fingers crossed! 🙂

[Amaguq]

Thanks ladies, I am loving my mental images right now lol xx

[Amaguq]

Feel good song 🙂

[Amaguq]

(link removed by Moderator)

[Amaguq]

Hi Starmoon,
Huggggggggssssssss
From what I have seen from your posts, you’re a wonderful person, we are all allowed our down days.
I have missed my Ex far too many times but trying to focus on what he did to me. He’s got everything and I am left with barely anything but we are no longer living in fear, that is liberating but I know also scary.

Hold that beautiful head up high and take care xx

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