Ariel

[Ariel]

Thankyou xxxxx

[Ariel]

I feel you. How he talks you round and then you are left feeling like you’ve over reacted to whatever it is and you’re the toxic one for reacting this way.
I’m in a similar position.

[Ariel]

Thankyou xx

[Ariel]

Ps my son is a young adult not a child.

[Ariel]

I can understand you giving in, you are doing what it takes to survive which makes you so stronge of a woman.
There is always a way but it might mean a long long road of planning.
I planned with my woman’s aid worker of nearly 3 years. I did take baby steps as I was so scared but you can do it and will find a way.
Do you have a worker?

[Ariel]

I hope you’re ok, there is always a way. Honestly there is a way. It may mean lord of steps and jumping over things.
Take each step at a time.
Very small ones.
It took me 2 years of tiny steps. And I’m years out now. So that time spent was worth it.

[Ariel]

Lovely news, just keep strong and be prepared for him to try and worm his way back in.
Stick to your guns and keep him out!
Goodluck
I totally understand the washing thing but mine was moving stuff around the house like ooh I think I’ll move the kettle to this side of the kitchen! Or I can pop to Tesco without any bother.
Goodluck

[Ariel]

Do you have any family or friends who know about what’s going on?
Maybe speak to someone close to you. Or call Womens aid and ask for some advice too.

[Ariel]

I think you are very brave.
It sounds like you didn’t have much choice and his parents are happy to watch their son do that to you. They should be ashamed.
I think you need to call womens aid, look up your local number and call them for advice.
I understand what you are saying about they all will give the baby a good life. But he is a violent man and how long will it be before he gets cross with baby when he/she gets a bit older and answers back.
My advice is to call womens aid and talk everything through with them. They will not judge and will not push you to do anything.
I also left with my children behind they were older and 2 of them are with me now and he has one.
So I kind of know, but all out situations are different.

[Ariel]

I think you are right. If you know your partner well ypu will notice the difference in his texts.
But he’s not going to admit it.

[Ariel]

Yes! Well there has been accusations of money going missing from (detail removed by Moderator). He says he would never and how can I think that of him.
But process of elimination leads his way.
I keep breaking up with him because of the staying out and then I get weak and beg for him to come back and we can work it out.
I’m so tired of it but I can’t find the strength because I love him and want him to be who he was.
Apparently he was a good worker and treated his partner before. His friends and family have told me all this.
They think I’m too soft for him so he’s got lazy and not bothering.

[Ariel]

Thankyou, I totally agree with the triggering. Even though the moods are different to my ex the change in them I think must be triggering my anxiety and preparing me for what I used to think was about to come.

[Ariel]

I would tell your friends to not show you things he puts on (detail removed by Moderator). You know he does that now so you can’t trust what he says when he’s being nice. He’s only being nice as he wants something.
You are not the bad person for not wanting to give him another chance. Your children are already damaged you said. Try to just stay focused on understanding that he is a horrible person not you.

[Ariel]

Doing something little that you never would have been allowed/able to do.

[Ariel]

Thankyou so much for your reply. Yes i think you’re right he should be showing support. I’m trying to find the balance to discipline them at the young adult age. Plus my ex their Dad was obviously over the top with the discipline so I was always the soft one trying to undo any damage he was causing and I’m finding it hard to know how to go about it.
Thankyou again

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