endoftherainbow

[endoftherainbow]

When I read your post I hear myself in so many ways. I worried so much about the impact on my kids, it was only when I left when I realised how disturbed they were from the life I thought I was protecting them from. They realise so much more than you think. My ex was older than me and convinced me it was all in my mind. Iv been free for a few years, but I have no contact with one of my kids…he’s so screwed up from the past. One of the others is a mess….I a peal to anyone with kids. .get out xx

[endoftherainbow]

Slowly as the years progress I’m learning to treat each milestone differently. Today I left my house covered in dust 😨😨 and didn’t clean it…even though this winds me up no end….I’m OK. …no one beat me…no one shouted at me….I’m on my sofa, safe and sound. …life does get better. ….don’t look back (detail removed by Moderator) xxx

[endoftherainbow]

Well done….anything that makes you feel in control is a plus xx

[endoftherainbow]

Leaving the house without making the bed..
Even if this drives me mad
Having dust in my house, without worrying the white glove would come out. Having a chippy tea and not knowing I would be weighed after. So many small things that are huge to me xx

[endoftherainbow]

In so many ways in doing so well, I can’t give up the anger of what iv given up. The last few months of my mothers life completely ruined, even her funeral day dictated by him, the lose of my children, this is something I will never get over, sometimes I feel like its overwhelming, like I cannot claw my way out, but I don’t want him to have the feeling that hes won x

[endoftherainbow]

It took me a very long time to go down the no contact road, when I did, I was petrified, I was so used to the ‘you just wait’ txt’s, and You’ve brought this on your’ then I tea, nothing he did was worse than the life I was living. He made accusations to my workplace, but without me realising they knew how controlling he was and ignored it. Don’t be scared by what he says, its all part of the mind games xxx

[endoftherainbow]

Maybe if you spoke to the police in respect of ‘Claire Law’? This enables people to check if people have been involved in Domestic Violence, might just flag him up for future partners x

[endoftherainbow]

Hello, I would contact the council yourself, or ask to see what information your worker gave. When I was rehoused from a refuge I was high priority, especially when I gave information of the support I would receive and the fact I needed to be away from my abuser. When you are in Refuge you are homeless and automatically a priority . Good luck xxx

[endoftherainbow]

I don’t think you do, when I was in refuge with our children,he reported me to the police, demanding my address,the police spoke to me and just checked we were ok and would not pass the information on to him, x

[endoftherainbow]

Thank you ladies, I’m looking at it as a minor slip up and to forgive myself. I’m not going to look again, I know looks can be deceiving, who knows what’s going on with them. I’m going to let csa do there job….hopefully!! And carry on with my free life xxx

[endoftherainbow]

I have found them to be useless,I contacted them as a last resort as I had heard they were brutal, and left men with no money. Its been a year and my ex has just told lie after lie to avoid paying. Even though I have told them numerous times what was going on, they said they have to investigate his claims!! Hes managed to wriggle out of it all, iv had one payment and he’s given up his job to make sure I didn’t get anymore!! Total waste of time. They need to change how they deal with abusers’ and make it easier for us.

[endoftherainbow]

I wouldn’t feel guilty, I think I would be dancing round my Cauldron!!
But I agree with the others, he’s looking for sympathy, and properly doesn’t mean it. It could be to snare another victim, or hoping that you will see it. Its hard not to but its best to not even look at anything to do with him, it just messes with your head xxx

[endoftherainbow]

The fact you have got back together and you are here posting tells you that its not going to work, but don’t be too hard on yourself, I left and went back many times until I came to the point I was strong enough. I have gone no contact and have a restraining order, its the only way I could do it as I still often have feelings for him. Its sad but true, no matter what people say or recommend, no one can make you stay away from him, its something that will happen when your ready. Hopefully you have friends who will support you even though you have gone back, and if not we are all here for you. I doubt there’s many people that left and never went back even once. Just remember, you don’t have to be stuck, there is so much help and support for you…..I wish you good luck, stay strong and big hugs xxx

[endoftherainbow]

Hello, to be honest, when I found out after I left about some terrible things my husband had done in the past, I felt relieved. He used to put everything on me, he used to say what kind of woman was I, that could make him act the way he does. Even though I knew it wasn’t me, to find out he had done it before helped somewhat. As for getting over and moving on, that’s a hard one. Even when I left I still loved my ex, it was the abuse that drove me away, the only way I could deal with this was to go no contact. Some days I feel like I’m drowning in anger, sadness and resentment, I itch to contact him, even if just to tell him how angry I am at what he’s caused, but I ignore this. I would love to put him totally out of my mind, but I know this won’t happen yet, hopefully one day. I cash only suggest you take one day past as time, don’t worry when you have down days, it will start to get easier, you will finds the gaps between thinking about him will get bigger and easier to manage. I have it written down the reasons for leaving and how I felt, and then the positives of life since I left, I have this on my kitchen wall, my sister had it framed for me! It gives me strength when I need it.
Good luck, stay strong and big hugs xxx

[endoftherainbow]

Hi, after I left my ex his other children contacted the police as they were worried about his new woman. They took it very seriously ando said she would be contacted. No information was given back to them, and she would not have been told who reported it. But we did find out that it worked and she kicked him out….Karma!

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