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Thankyou ladies… I have not been on here for a while.. But I escaped from my abuser just over (detail removed by moderator). More (detail removed by moderator) of lots of abuse… One child visits him at weekends.. Lockdown happens and he stays until school… No school…no contact… Until txt message saying he wasn’t coming back and had changed school.. So my child lives with me and visits his father… To I have no contact.. And he’s out of my life… I’m destroyed.. As are his siblings

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That’s a good idea.. Although like you say falls on deaf ears.. She thinks I’m the cause of all his trauma and issues…

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Hi. Iwmb thanks for reply…
Yes she is deffinatly a flying monkey.. I did used to feel sorry for her.. But not anymore.. I am interested to hear about Claire law… I have heard about it but as I knew exactly who he was have never completed it…. Did you mean do one on her or for her? My x never got charged/ found guilty of anything.. Although police were aware of what sort of person he is..its for partners so guess they won’t let me do it…. Unless you mean I do it for her… And would things show up if there have been no actual convictions…
Hope you are doing OK. Xx

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That they live with me and see him (detail removed by Moderator) a month for up to (detail removed by Moderator) hours.. And he has never wanted to go.. But he’s been bribed and promised the earth and get a run..

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Thanks diymum.. Unfortunately I don’t have a soliciter. But I will try myself… Now I’ve got the name…
And thank you want to help. For the name and going through it.. I will get on it..ive put it off for far too long..

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Thankyou hazydayz… Yes I guess I just need to speak to someone I will ask for desk Clark and see what they come up with.. Thankyou.

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My child laughs at me the is a young teen…. And one who is almost reaching a milestone bday… They both have learned lots from their father…. But I try to give consuquenses… Eg take WiFi off.. I get swore at for that and he then gets verbal and physical… And it’s very difficult not to give in to that.. Which I don’t wNt to but for safety’s sake…. Anyway… I am going to look up nanny 911 and watch..

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Hi braelynn.. Thanks for replying.. I will look into reading lists.. And utube.. Although I did used to read lots and have some books.. I fi d it difficult to focus.. But I will make more of an effort.. What you say makes perfect sense.. I kno I should have boundaries.. But my child has learned from my x and is so manaliputive.. I try to put boundaries in place and he just laughs in my face..

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Hi iwmb yes I remember you.i am not struggling with my x.. I have finally seen him for what he is.. I have got me children with me and the older ones are behaving like their father..although lockdown is making everyone a little crazy.. They have been behaving like this for a while… At the moment they are ruling the house.. I am unable to say anything to them for fear of the reporcusions…. Tonight I asked them to go to bed 2345 he is not (detail removed by moderator) and he the stuff outside.. And then locked me out… Walked upstairs throwing everything down the stairs throwing things a the door pulling curtains down.. Told me to f**k off c**t and kill myself.. And what’s it got to do with me..an hour later I went into bedroom to check on younger child and was told to get out of his bedroom and stay away.. He was shouting so loud I had to leave but could not check on my other child.. As he was loudly swearing at me now.. He said swearing is not doing anything wrong but hitting him with a stick is. I haven’t.. But his dad used to say that… Hes saying when I finish with telling everyone what you do to me they will take us all awY… I carnt actually take this anymore.. His father used to torture me and drive me out of house… I stayed so long and the kids have turned into him.. I’ve tried so hard with them… I think its a loosing battle.. I didn’t leave to be tortured by my own kids..

 

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Hi kip… unfortunatly I have no relatives were he could go and stay… no relatives or support at all… so if I ring he will go into care… and I really don’t want that.. obviously… that’s why I’ve held off for soo long…yes he knows how to behave.. just saves the abuse for me… I am sat in my car 1/2 mile from house.. I was sat in house he repeatedly asks the same question.. and then a high pitch whistle…. I am close to breaking point so I went to car.. to sit.. he came out.. I had to drive.. don’t want to go back…

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Thankyou all for your advice.. I have taken it all on board…my son is getting worse.. I thought leaving would be an end to it but I always had hope that one day I would be able to leave and all would be better… this is never going to end…my son is shouting and swearing everyday now at least once..a day.. he’s started throwing things swearing badly in front of younger sibling…if I ask him to leave the room he says no.. I fact everything is no.. he called me a fat c..t today… I cannot do anything with him.. if he says no that’s it… I dread him coming in room wondering what mood he will be in… he was so horrible I wanted to just drop him with ex… as no we’re else to take him…. I kno that is not the think to do.. he is the reason he’s like this in first place…. but sometimes I think I’ve tried so hard and I Carnt do anymore.. it’s disrupting everything…everyone is getting affected by the behaviour..he scares me because he is charming and helpful and polite one minute and then can change with click of a finger…and it’s only really directed towards me

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Oh iwmb.. you are so strong and supportive… you will say that one day… I used to think like you…. and I left and went back and I thought this my lot…. just to stay and put up with the c**p it’s all I deserve… and was in Orr of everyone who had left… you will too one day…xxx

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I left about (detail removed by moderator) ago…. and apart from a few times I have been ok about not contacting him……. until today.. i really had an urge to contact him.. he’s constantly ringing still and I cannot block him…but I have resisted but I am scared how much longer…….can I keep on like this.. so I can understand what your going through…and hope you can hang in there… some days will be easier than others…sending you strength and hugs x

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Thankyou you all for messages.. they mean a lot.. had no wifi but all up and running now…xx

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Thankyou I wantmeback.. no motivation I as well just want it all to go away…but yes kip small steps that’s great advice….today I’m just going to go to work I Carnt do anything else apart from work so there’s no point in worrying…yesterday I was off and I got some carpet and made phone calls although that’s the easy stuff… going… but ultimately staying away…. no contact is a must… hope I can take advice.. x

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Thankyou apricot poppy.. I don’t feel strong.. I feel like I’m running a marathon still a long way to go.. but I have made some progress….just need a final push…well done you for getting away….yes and good to have friends.. who can give a reality check!!! Their most favourite trick Turing on the charm, being mr nice guy to get what they want… got to be strong and see through it..x

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Yes iw m b… it will not last but at this moment I wish he would turn nasty… it would be easier for my brain to cope with… I know it’s not real.. but like you said.. we kno this and if removed from situation we can see… and I am going 100% it’s just crazy how bad and guilty I feel.. and sorry for him…. and l o no c.. yes so long… I can remember thinking if the situation is still the same when my child starts school that’s it I’m off…. 3 children later and child 1 is closer to leaving school than starting.. I am determined this time it will happen…and I would really appreciate some positive thoughts thankyou….

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Thankyou.. yes I am over the moon… still waiting heating and water before we go… it’s hard.. now he’s being the model husband… I kno it won’t last but he’s making it so hard for me

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Thank you ts..yes I am sure he can smell change… I thought yes I’d just agree to go on tenancy… but then he arrange to meet with the housing.. I had to ring them and explain… all sorted… but a bit tricky….I am just trying to hold on hoping it won’t be too long…

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Thanks ts cherry and iwmback… yes I Carnt wait to go.. now… I am still waiting for the house to be ready, builders still in..Carnt pack anything really as he will notice…I have tried to be as normal as possible.. haven’t told children… but now he wants to put me on the tenancy… we’re has this come from over many years he refused so he could throw me out…when now he wants be on it…along with this.. the guilt.. for him.. for disruption to children.. I Carnt take much more..the stress is getting to me…

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Yes mine always says I’m doing what he’s done…… I found out he had hit my other child the day he accused me…I’m sorry they all seen to follow the same script.. everyone else I speak to doesn’t fully understand the whole truth of how these men are.. I guess unless you actually live it it’s hard to imagine… so although it’s sad others have lived it… I kno you all understand… I feel this is my final wake up call.. and I must run for the hills.. while I still can x

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Although it was an horrendous experience… it was the best possible outcome for me… yes his intention was for me to be locked up..and previously he has had me locked up 3 times before…. it always depends on police who would attend who they would believe… I heard him saying on the phone.. I’ve attacked his little boy and he was scared I was coming for him next…3 police cars came with tazors… the took him to prevent a breach of peace..even after they had gone I thought they would come back for me… and kip so bad being in a cell… and yes I kno this is not the end he will be on to ss and anyone who will listen on Monday until he finds someone one who believes him… his ultimate goal is to hurt me and the only was is through my kids… he will take them from me… I went out all day and he’s back.. I was scared to come back but he just egnores.. but I don’t kno next thing I kno I will have to go soon as he will now not rest…

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Hi ts.. they did take him.. to prevent anything further.. will let him go in am…I am dreading what he will do next… he will be annoyed as they took him not me….I am so worried he won’t stop until he’s taken kids off me… I’m a nervous wreck now..

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Omg kip yes that’s so true…..you are so right.. I need to go and get out of this environment… x

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Thankyou for your reply kip and twisted sister…. yes I can see that I really can… and it did trigger so much… I am so close to leaving I went to the housing yesterday… one of many times.. and even went to look at some houses… I am so close to going…oldest child did not kno this…and I thought how would it go if I went? How would they be?.. and I did have the though of leaving him…. but can I ask you both.. as you had similar do they improve once they are away?? Although the way it has been over the last couple of days I would gladly run away and leave them all to it.. it’s heartbreaking that I didn’t go sooner and it’s come to this

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He’s following me from room to room… I ask him to leave me alone he won’t… I said I’ve had years of this with him I’m not having it agin with you… and he said.. well it’s obviously your fault or you would have left beforezz I have come from the front room and gone to my bedroom.. and closed the door and he has come up the stairs and in the bedroom.. standing over me.. I don’t kno what to do..

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Hi daisy…. yes your right…diary.. obviously non urgent…. yes things were muddling along ok…in fact I was surprised but every time he rings it’s a spanner in the works… but always every obstacle will b put in place… it follows that his next point will be the children… but I thought he would wait a while ☹️…. freedom to choose only one child has phone and yes they are phone age appropriate…. that’s the trouble I would take it off him if I could…. the only time he rings is when he wants something… and he’s got my child on a string….as soon as he phoned my child thinks he must drop everything and go straight down to him…. plied with money and promises of wonderful things… and a few questions… and lastly some digs about mum….he spent years egnoring that child.. and has never spoke to him soo much….my child craves the attention from his father…..

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just read that and I sound bad…I do appreciate your kind words thankyou x

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Thankyou freedom to choose…you are so kind… I don’t feel like that…and I Carnt cope with people saying nice things x

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I am like this… I’ve got keys to go… waiting for heating etc and it’s seems to be taking forever… he’s being so nice and yes I feel the same… I feel guilty sorry for him.. I have to kick myself..this time I will not fall for it…. I have in the past and it is so difficult…. but the niceness doesn’t last..don’t feel guilty.. like you say think of why your going in the first place…x

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