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Thank you ladies for your replies .Beach hut I think you hit the nail in the head .Do it when the time is right when I’m ready .I still have a few years yet .It’s only last couple years I’ve started to take care of myself and when my friend mentioned about my house good idea but same time I think it really triggered me which I didn’t like .Even going through solicitor the thought have to deal with him again right now is not right time .Is it normal to still have triggers even after few years not being together xx

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Thank you Lisa and Scottish thistle for your advice really do appreciate it .Ive come a long way since we split up .Even after many years apart I still sometimes doubt myself and think WHY are you still making things difficult out .If you were turkey happy you wouldn’t be doing these sometimes hurt full things .Im still single chose to be like that many friends etc do not understand why I’m not bothered meeting anyone new .Between me children we have a safety bubble .Still to afraid to let a make figure in x

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Thank you Lisa and fizzylem for your advice much appreciated.I go through child maintenance regards to money for our children but he still messing me about .Will have to get in touch with child maintenance again .My thoughts rang true even further .One of our children’s birthdays .He sent a card that he wrote to say he’d been injured in work (detail removed by moderator) and will make it up to our child another time .No money inside not even a small amount not supprised .Funny tho his partner said recently to someone he was away for Xmas working 🤔.Even after all these years he’s still looking to hurt punish me .He is the one that’s moved one had another child x

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Thank you ladies for your reply’s I really do appreciate your feedback .Have Not Had a good day today at all feeling very overwhelmed so much everyday tasking home kids to do .Doing everything myself .Feeling angry dealing loss of a loved one passed away suddenly recently as well .So feeling angry just needing time out but can’t feeling like emotionally I’m unraveling inside so tired of feeling pain x

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How to do handle someone you have to work with who acts like that ? Rise above it which is hard but she even holds grudges silliest things x

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Thank you Ladies for Taken time to reply to my post .A lot what you all say makes sense .Ill try also some tips you’ve all mentioned .Ive done freedom programme and behaviour type program to be more positive etc .Ive come along way over years but deep down I don’t think I’m fully over what my Ex husband did to me kids .Read lot of posts Regards to Is it abuse leaving abusive Ex etc but don’t read as many posts how women are managing years down the line from emotional abuse etc .I know some people go from one abusive partner to another or someone like me has never gone proper date in years as totally put off with men xxx

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Thank you Kip for your reply .He has been reported and I’ll be making sure they have a word with him.Like I said his target was always me but now he’s gone to another leval
His own child .What he’s capable is beyond words and how low he’ll go .Nice one minute a monster the next .Know again I would think I wonder if he’s changed then I have a light bulb moment shivers go through my body .A horrible reminder that abusers NEVER change x

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Thank you ladies for your messages .What I’ve told my kids although my Dad was taken to soon .Hold my Dad as more of a role model on how a man should behave .Rather than there own Dad who was complete opposite .Who always put himself first and didn’t give a Dam who he hurt along the way x

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Thankyou Fizzylem got your reply .You made a very good point in your reply .How my Ex might get a buzz when contacting me when he’s not working .The CM is the only thing that we have contact control over now .As far as I’m aware he’s no longer with his partner or at least things are not rosey with them at present .He did leave me a message regards to why he’s not working etc etc moment .I did not reply I got my point across he knows when he’s doing .Just can not be bothered with instant excuses .Took I very long time but I can never properly rely on him he does what suits him all the time x

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Thank you ladies for your replies Much appreciated.What you have both mentioned my gut instinct was telling me .As much as you’d like to you can’t reason with these type of men.Full excuses it can be very draining the least contact you have the better .

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Hi pasta .I totally get what your saying and to anyone else who have not been in our situation would think we’re crazy .Im not in a relationship st the moment .I did have a bit reality check recently tho .I had not seen my Ex husband months and I was missing the closeness sex etc .I think more Feeling of the excitement with these men as we know deep down we shouldn’t go there .Anyway I came face to face with recently again I felt a slight thrill excitement even but I spoke to him what he was saying etc changed man etc etc I could tell he was lieing even putting down his partner down .I thought afterwards seriously I wouldn’t want him in my life the way he is .As he could not give me the love I deserve .If your man treats you we’ll hand on to him .As your lucky to have found a good man xxx

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Thank you both ladies for your replies today .Yes this weekend brought back old feelings even after all these years but it also proves he has not changed for the better .Still lies puts people down plays the victim.As for his youngest child I hope I’m wrong but if he’s anything to go by he let down our kids badly .He also has an older child that he’s never bothered with .Fizzylem your reply really brought home how I’ve been feeling lately .Like you said he had his chance he blew it time after time xx

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Lovely story .Yes I do believe in fate to .Good luck fir the future x

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I think Kip .One best things I try to manage it all is self care .Its not always easy to do with having kids working etc .I think certain situations I do feel worse .A lot with me thinking worst fear not feeling good enough mainly all from abuse I have experienced .The other day I felt so overwhelmed felt I was going crazy .So my friend told me to sit down when just few minutes longer if possible .Breath relax that brain if yours .Like a cut broken leg it gets treated .With the brain way we think it’s a lot harder .xxx

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Gosh ladies .Reading your posts I feel the same I thought it was just me .Its been s long while since me Ex husband split but I always see worse bad things .Sometimes my feelings get a bit much can’t think relationally .Ive come along way but this explains I’m still not 100 per cent and might never will be .Its got to be with all these men have put as through mentally physically xxx

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Yes it’s a lesson I’ve defiantly learnt .Its been very hard I’m lot better these days but I wouldn’t say I’m 100 per cent not sure I’ll ever will be .My Ex husband got his partner pregnant very soon after meeting each other .She already had children think she would be wiser sadly not .I have kids with my Ex I know fact he has blackened my name to her .He does not see our kids due to his behaviour and again I have him many many chances over years .I think my oldest has been effected more by his Dad .My choice was to remove them from his unstable behaviour .It was so hard time and still hard times but I’ve never regrested my decision .Like with us we had to learn the hard way .Now it’s the turn of the new women to learn the hard way Well .I wanted to shake my Ex husband partner say to her wake up what are you doing but of course I never did that .Keep out of it your so much better off you need to believe that .xxx

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Hello .My Ex husband who has been with his currant partner last couple years had a baby .They to making out everything was great etc etc it was so hard at the time .Last few months there still together but things have gone a lot quieter .I was like you can’t she see what he’s like etc .She was aware on meeting him he was a bit head case but apparently she was the same .Like I did she probably thinks this time will be different he will treat me better .I felt like that and believe me I tried everything to save our marriage but nothing worked .I did hear the grapevine he has not changed .She probably by now has had our bursts behaviour but she’s probably so sucked in she can’t see it .She will see but it might take some time untill she does xx

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Thank you for your replies Ladies .My Ex patents he does not have a good relationship with them .His Dad died few years ago and he sees his mum when he wants something which is not regular.He has a sister who he does not speak to and can see right through him .Rang CM what a joke .He has told them he is not working .Which what I’m aware of he is not .CM have done checks on him and my case is open any change will let me know .At moment as he has appiled for Job seekers allowance I will get NOTHING for my kids this month .If go down job seekers allowance I will get a pathetic £7 per weeks for TWO kids set out by government what a bloody joke .Even Worse case CM said someone might help him out .Like I said he has not got good reaionship with his parents and for his partner she is still on maternity leave and when she is due to go back soon I can’t see her earnings able to cover bills there baby etc xx

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Thank you again ladies for your replies .Im feeling better this morning your replies have given me the boast I needed .It might be a few years down the line for me and things are a lot better but from time to time I still get triggers yesterday being one of them .Im still learning to deal with the emotions but like with time the phase passes xx

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Thank you ladies for your replies .It hasn’t been an easy day today .Looking forward when this day is over xx

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His girlfriend makes our constantly he is s great dad looks like him etc etc .My Ex early years appeared great dad but as soon as his behaviour got to much and I started to put my foot down I wasn’t going to put up his behaviour things changed he is now non existent turns up when it suits him .Just seems to have gone with someone who will put up with his crap and lifestyle .She is probably buttering him up with praise where I can see straight through him .Sorry Rant xx

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Thank you for your reply Chickdee.Thinking back my Ex husband on timrs was very anti women .I think Weather they have sons daughters they are still the same person .Fullon to start with when going gets tough is true colours come out .As for the transformation with his current girlfriend no supprise .In his on Sly way he is moulding her to what he wants in a girlfriend x

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Thank you Serenity for your reply .Yours Kips reply spot on how I was feeling .As god As other friends are they don’t always get what your going through .I went to the meeting last night (detail removed by moderator) .Felt overwhelmed I’m able to give my child this fantastic opportunity something I’ve never experienced.On positive note I’ve managed help family working over time I’m able to have done it .Its Been very hard work but worth it .Xxx

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Thank you Kip .You always give good advice .You are right what you say whenever there is contact it’s normally negative .I did speak to my child who is at age where I’m quite open with and asked if he wanted his Dad to wave him off .His answer was he was not bothered either way .So you can imagine if I’d messaged him back said his child was not bothered either way about him being there .He would cause up roar so as you said going with my gut instinct is do not reply and block him again .If he was really that bothered I suppose he would contact our child’s school for details x

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Love this post ladies .I bought myself some roses from Tesco’s the other day .I usually buy my kids cards chocolates balloons I enjoy making a fuss over them .Best thing of all
Will enjoy the peace no dramas working on egg shells or pretending to be all loved up on social media .xxx

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Thank you Christine for your feedback .After Reading Couple Other Ladies replies and speaking to a few close friends about it thrive all said said think .He is looking for a reaction he would love nothing more than some drama to kick off between his Ex wife and partner .She no doubt has heard the worst about me according to my Ex .What I’ve heard about his partner sounds like a right fruit loop .I try to keep Well back and don’t make it public regarding my personal life .Unlike my Ex husband partner they would put there happy couple / baby photos up etc for everyone to see .Alrhough recently there are not as many happy photos etc .Maybe he’s getting restless again bored even who knows ? One thing I do know is I know deep down he can not stand to see me happy content .Not once so far have I bitten back give him reaction Regards to his partner and new baby .

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Thank you for your reply’s ladies .You have confirmed what I was thinking .I can very slowly see history repeating itself with his currant partner .How I can see she has fallen for him good proper and how she can change him etc etc .I was like that girl once Upton time x

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Merry Christmas 🎄 Lisa and to everyone that has helped advised me this year you’ve all been fantastic support .Hope you all have a peaceful Christmas you deserve it xxx

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Thank you dragon fly for your reply .What you wrote back to me are on the lines of what I was thinking .Since splitting from my Ex I’ve always gone with my gut instinct.On this occasion the woman makes me feel uncomfortable and just seems very false .She does not bring any joy into my life or her grand kids x

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Would appreciate advice from people who can see both sides my story xx

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