resilient

[resilient]

I was about to make the same suggestion as Hetty. There should be someone in school who can guide her. We cannot fix everything and sometimes all we want is for someone to listen – which you have done.
Try to find some time for you too.
Best wishes

[resilient]

Thank you both, your kind words have reassured me.
My emotions tend to sway my judgement. I know that I dread the whole experience, nevermind the lies. I want to stay strong for our child, to protect them and I feel scared. (detail removed by moderator)

[resilient]

My father seemed to be amused by my ex stalking me and writing letters to pass on to relatives

[resilient]

Cannot recall exactly.
During college they would appear wherever I was, which I found flattering. Triangulation. We had mutual friends and told me they would turn them against me. Told me early on about his ex and how they had treated him terribly. Received a gift from “them”, which was bought by a relative. Stealing from shops. Smoking w**d. The people they considered friends. Their attitude towards people in general. The “fragility” of their mental health. Threatening to/actually harming themselves orn attempting suicide. Calling me names. Their treatment of relatives.

[resilient]

I am so sorry for how you have been treated.Your story is harrowing .

Best wishes to you and your family

[resilient]

I kept them, as I intended to give them to our child when he got older/asked. Eventually, I ended up going through all of them and cutting any with ex or related to ex into tiny strips. This took a long time. Now I think those phots were not for me to keep, however the future goes, if our child has a relationship with them, I imagine they will have their own photos. If they have questions, they know they can ask. They did meet and I know oc has memories of them

[resilient]

Thank you. This accurately describes my ex!
If it were to come to light, his family would normalise his behaviour and I would be responsible for how he acted. His mental health was always an excuse
They had a warped relationship with their mother too

[resilient]

I definitely relate to this. Telling people jo directly is frightening and I have found myself distancing myself to avoid confrontation. I dislike upsetting others and am a people pleaser, it is something I am working on. In hindsight, I have improved considerably. 🙂

[resilient]

Hi galnextdoor
An ex of mine would do similar with me.they are disrespecting you and frankly, being confusing. they are claiming to love you, yet your relationship has ended and they believe they are entitled to be touchy feely. It is all mixed signals and tenterhooks.
Wishing you the best

[resilient]

Hi surviving
I am sorry you are feeling this way – please know that your feelings are valid. He has gone against his word regarding ex’s, so of coursd you will feel distrustful. his response to your concerns and name calling is not appropriate.

[resilient]

Hi sunshinerainflower

I have been so cautious when making friends and continue to be. Past friendships felt phony and I realise now I was not being true to myself. We can be so hard on ourselves but we are still recovering. I am still selective with who I surround myself with and my understanding of abuse has improved. I have learnt to trust my intuition whereas in the past I would have ignored in favour of “friendship”. I have recently been stung by someone who I thought of as a friend – used me as a stepping stone and continue to try to. I won’t be treated that way any longer – before I probably wouldn’t have noticed, at least not so soon. These people have taught me a lot about myself

[resilient]

my ex said something harrowing regarding our child, after we had separated.

meonscreen
i’m so sorry you experienced that treatment. sending hugs

[resilient]

Congratulations! I cannot imagine how you felt compiling everything, it is horrible having to revisit what happened… but you did it!
I certainly relate to “screaming inside”.

Best wishes

[resilient]

Thank you for your kind words.

Being asked “why now”, after all this time etc is what triggered me. Our childs safety is so important to me and i do not want him experiencing any abuse, if it can be prevented. Sometimes I feel powerless, like I am not being heard and taken seriously. They don’t see it and I try to but I cannot make them.

[resilient]

Hi sweetdisposition!
I am so sorry you were treated that way. It is hurtful. It is difficult and takes time ti recover.
I experienced similar with my mother. I read something and it struck me. “Well, you don’t keep coming back to the table if you’ve had enough to eat in the first place.”
It has taken a while but my understanding of abuse is developing. I am content that I will never have that mother. We never deserved to be treated how we have – not by anyone.

[resilient]

this is a lovely thread!

[resilient]

thank you all. since nc i am remembering things that did not sit right with me at the time. there have been so many instances that i attempted nc and was unsuccessful. not including the times before then that i would try to break away! time can be a healer.

[resilient]

thank you hopelifejoy. your username is lovely too and your online demeanor. i will create a log. things have been looking up. i love the phrase “truth and love prevails” and in this case, i believe it is beginning to. i know that they are attempting to paint an ugly picture of me and it will eventually be reflected back on to them. i have to remind myself that there are kind people and this forum proves that. you prove that.

[resilient]

i am sorry you are experiencing this. at times, i get overwhelmed by my emotions and what happened. i tell myself that my feelings are valid, although they are uncomfortable. it would have been almost a year since seeing my ex and i still get fearful in their presence. i do not like feeling vulnerable

[resilient]

i have been gathering evidence and putting it in order. i loathe revisiting it. wondering if it will be enough or discarded. frustrated about all the incidents without evidence or instances that would be deemed evidence, that i no longer have. It is an awful process. to sit there and assess, knowing its significance . to be judged by people you do not know. Who may lack understanding and attempting to educate them

[resilient]

I am so sorry for what you have experienced. The police I have dealt with have been no help and like you, wrote me off when so long had passed. It is upsetting

Stay safe * warmest wishes

[resilient]

How can it be acceptable*

[resilient]

i did not know what grey rock was till your post – thank you. fortunately i am nc with my childs dad – for now. however, i have had to apply it where i work and like KIP has stated, it was not long till they bit.
best wishes to you*

[resilient]

Yes. It was awful. Things that should have been in place, like a screen, were not. I felt so small and shook the whole time.

[resilient]

Thank you Cecile. I feel like they are all relevant as it is another opportunity to be abusive

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