Finallysomethingclicked

[Finallysomethingclicked]

I’m getting to this point slowly my kids are older they go to school and uni and they also work evenings so I’m alone a lot after working myself . A good man to me is someone who won’t push for attention for sex. I miss hugs with a man a lot but I’m not ready for anything… for me a man that can hug me and sleep in my bed without anything is halfway there. I love sex but on my terms I want my next relationship to be with someone who likes me be my friend before anything… wishful thinking I watch too many Romantic films

Xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

😘😘 bit jealous lol….

Enjoy it lovely you deserve it!!! I can’t wait to get to this point again to feel sexy and confident.

I hope you have a great big smug smile on your face( you showed your ex he was so wrong) 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi new survivor

I can’t really add anything that the ladies above haven’t already said but
I just wanted to show my support and to show you your not alone.
Keep posting it helps.

Big hugs
Fsc ❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

I agree ladyglittersparkles im so grateful for everything now just being able to shut the front door and be me -no eggshells in my home anymore 😊

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Well done to you positiveandlookingahead!!

this made me smile 😊😊 The post about the kiss. It gives me hope for my future I’m a long way off wanting a man but I do miss a good hug and kissing thank you for making me feel hopeful ❤️❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you for the reply blueberry you are so right. It’s just another lesson I’ve had to learn,that he will go to any lengths to stop me moving forwards.

I thought for a long time I couldn’t go no contact and I found it so hard but after he contacted me I felt irritable,uneasy,worried,nervous etc for days then I realised this was how I lived for over a decade with him those feelings where my normal -HOW DID I LIVE LIKE THAT??!!!!!

😊 So glad I took everyone’s advice and even though he tries I keep persevering with the no contact hoping this will be the last I ever hear from that pathetic little man.

Thanks again x

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you for your replies I just thought I was overreacting but I’m not he went through my pictures conversations etc I don’t use Facebook a lot as I wasn’t allowed before,I have now clamped down on who can view me and contact me. Just unnerving how long has he been looking through my page etc feel a bit stupid I allowed anyone that access but lesson learned. There wasn’t anything on there bad just don’t like how he made me feel vulnerable when I have been doing so well. A year ago I didn’t know anything about abuse and dv now I’m so wary my eyes are wide open and I see it so much it’s scary but I’m grateful I know what to steer clear of now

Thank you ❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you KIP, think I just needed to know I wasn’t losing my mind😊 I’ve been on the Internet and found some helpful info about it and now feel happy like you say it’s just a blip another hurdle to overcome

Thanks for the support ❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi this post is lovely and made me smile which is always a great thing 😊

I’ve found a lot of solace in music since I split with my ex. So much so I’ve even planned my first tattoo for my birthday this year (if I can be brave enough)

“If you never try you’ll never know just what your worth…”.

-Coldplay fix you

Has been the one song that makes me want to fight on those awful desperate days.

Great post
Big hugs fsc ❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Here here!! my (detail removed by Moderator) day with no contact and I’ve had the best week 😜 Not a single tear. Xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you ladies ❤️

I just feel so proud of myself it’s such a great feeling. I thought I’d never cope I read my posts from when I first started and I don’t recognise myself it is truly amazing once you just let go. I’m feeling my name suits me today.

A massive thank you for all the posts I ve read from everyone it’s great knowing your not alone in this ❤️❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi Alice

Yes I totally understand where your at it’s been so hard for me too. I felt so low this morning but tbh it’s been a good day a little housework mowed the lawn anything to stop thinking I’ve even laughed I feel so relaxed. He just can’t hurt me now.well it will be harder for him.

I know I will have bad days but at least for today I’ve taken a bit of his power away he can’t talk to me like that anymore I’m not listening.

You will get there you have to do it when your ready. And yes I’m listen to all the ladies who have gone before me I’m ready to say enough I won’t let him do this anymore I want to be happy I’m not when I’m constantly letting him hurt me and play his sick games.

Be kind to yourself you will know when your ready don’t force it. I did and broke contact so many times.

Big hugs xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you for the reply blueberry.
Yes I’m determined this time I’ve been free months and I’ve just been sat in the same place I just want to move forwards and I know that has to be without him.

I couldn’t ever go back to that life and he will never be the man I desperately want him to be so it’s time to let go. I’ve tried no contact but always kept his number hoping he would wake and be a changed man
– so stupid

I’ve just come to a point where for (detail removed by Moderator) I’ve been sat waiting and breaking my heart over someone who doesn’t care who enjoys hurting me now I’m ready to try this it has to be better at least now I will cry for a purpose I’m fixing myself and grieving for my marriage. I want to be happy truly happy not the decade of pretending to be.I have days when I am now and it feels great

Thanks for listening
And giving me hope xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Well done ladies it’s a scary big step be very proud of yourselves.
I haven’t had any counselling, my sister keeps begging me to go get it all out- I tend to put on a brave face and swallow it down. I’m just wondering if anyone has been through this without counselling or is that definitely the way to go.

Fsc x

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi I’m in exactly the same time frame as you ,luckily for me we didn’t have kids together the kids are mine from a previous relationship.

My ex was the same I worked yet he would call me a money grabber list things he had done and bought me and I apparently I just took. Not how I remember it but i was always wrong.

You left for a good reason so I think like many (me especially)your trying to convince yourself it wasn’t so bad doubting yourself I agree with kip about has he asked how you are offered to make things easier for you I believe good men behave like this – apparently lol but what do I know.

I just wanted to show you some support. You say your both parenting ok so would it hurt to just stick with it a little longer take a bit more time for yourself.
It’s hard I’m struggling to keep away myself but there comes a point when you have to love yourself if he won’t/can’t then I think you found your answer.

Big hugs
Your not alone fsc x

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Fantastic post and you should be feeling so proud of all you have achieved.

I especially like the bit in your post about no contact that’s my downfall at the moment and your comments make me feel positive I can and will do it I want to be happy like you are so thank you for sharing and spurring me on

Fsc xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you for the reply yes I haven’t been out long (detail removed by Moderator) and I’ve struggled so hard with the no contact we don’t have kids together and the house is mine so In all respects I can walk away I just haven’t been able to. Hoping he will see how he’s behaved apologise- yeah right I can hear you all say. I didn’t know I was in an abusive marriage till last year. I’ve had months of trying taking the disgusting abuse even though we aren’t together like I’m so used to it now it feels normal ,today I feel ready to let go I can’t hold onto him anymore I don’t want him he’s moving on and I’m still where he wants me time to show him show myself and my kids I can do this I can be amazing without him and happy

Thank you so much x

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi tallybee

My hats off too! wow I struggle with one abuser so the strength you have to keep going with all you have on your plate is an inspiration. Keep posting on here the ladies are fantastic

Fsc xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thanks serenity

Yes I’m in a better place today thankfully and im looking at it as a blip learn from it and move forwards.

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi Alice

I was feeling exactly the same yesterday I just made the mistake of contacting him and as expected I felt worse for it -so be proud of yourself for posting here instead.I will be taking a leaf out of your book in the future.

I love how you describe feeling like a body who’s souls wandered off I know exactly how that feels but then I’m sure all the ladies on here can identify with it too.

I just wanted to say well done for being so strong and posting on here instead of looking back to him for comfort it’s definitely the way forward.

Big hugs ❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thanks for the reply icandothis I feel a bit stronger today I know what I need to do it’s just a moment of madness that took over. I’ve deleted all contact details so I won’t make the same mistake again

Thanks for listening ❤️

[Finallysomethingclicked]

I love positive quotes my favourite is

Strength does not come from winning.your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender
– that is strength

Fsc xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Mine too it’s ridiculous I got to the point if my mobile was placed screen down I was hiding something,same with what underwear I was wearing for work and why bother doing your hair or putting makeup on I think you look ok and that’s all that matters right?? Betterblonde I think your so right about this handbook- makes my blood boil how vile these men are one way ticket to the moon and do every woman a favour xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

I went through the same thing worrying I couldn’t cope financially but I’m fine now and you will be too. I stayed for the last year with horrific abuse all because I didn’t think I could cope then one day he left for work and I just snapped locked him out and here I am. If I can do it with 3 kids you can. It’s so much nicer without him in my head xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi I would have to agree totally with lover of no contact karma will do her thing eventually and living your life happy a free is the sweetest revenge. Xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi falling skys

Just wanted to say your not alone hopefully later on you will get a chance to ring and talk to someone. Sorry I’m not much help myself at the moment but please keep posting. ((((Hugs))))

Your doing great xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thanks falling skys

Yes I’ve always put my head down around other men and never made conversation for fear of them talking to me when I was with my ex for obvious reasons. Now I’m free and can see not all men see me as he did it’s hard that realisation how absolutely disgusting he was towards me how I lived for so many years. Not all men see woman as a sex toy or a piece of meat. I think that’s why I cried just to be treated like a person it was nice

Fsc xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi

Unfortunately I’m still waiting for mine to leave me alone he went 3 days and now the emails have started again all just so disgusting but I haven’t replied and have no intention of either. He’s off on holiday soon hopefully he will find someone new and then he might leave me alone

Fsc x

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi pinklady

I just wanted to show you some support,I’m fairly new here myself and everyday is a struggle but it’s getting easier. I found reading the posts on here and to just talk to people who know what I’ve been through a great comfort.keep posting you will get there I promise I remember thinking I’d die without him a one point you are strong you can do this

Fsc xx

[Finallysomethingclicked]

I’ve tried to go no contact before and failed my ex is a very heavy drinker and would turn on the charm when sober so for years I thought he was just a nasty drunk as he wouldn’t remember the next morning. Since we split he is drinking even more and that’s spurring me on he uses it as an excuse to abuse me and I’ve just had enough I want so much more now. I want to feel free of him and o know this is the way I get that

Big hugs xx

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