Gerbil

[Gerbil]

Hi everyone
I am now in my own home!!! I cannot begin to describe how it feels! I feel excited and happy every time I walk through the front door ( not sick and nervous wondering what mood he will be in).
I would not be here without all the advice and support from this forum. I can not thank you all enough for the support and understanding you have given me.
I know the next few weeks will be a challenge but I’ve got out!
Take care xxx

[Gerbil]

I can not thank you enough for your replies and amazing advice. It means so much to me.
Only (detail removed by Moderator) to go until the man with the van comes!!! Aaahhh.
I don’t think I’m going to get much sleep tonight…my heart is racing…I will just keep telling myself I’ve got this and following all your fantastic advice x

[Gerbil]

Hiya@…absolutely fantastic! You have definitely not failed!
I hope you sleep so well in your new bed.
Take care x

[Gerbil]

Nbumblebee
Thank you so much for your calming techniques advice. I really appreciate it and I’m definitely going to try them.
As well as being so scared, I also feel like such a horrible person as I haven’t told him that I’m leaving him. It’s such an awful thing to do to someone x

[Gerbil]

Dear Learntoliveagain
I understand honey exactly how you feel. I have been where you are and just wanted to reach out to you. I am now further on in my journey than you but it has taken me a long long time. I’m not out yet ,but nearly. I followed all of the amazing advice from folks on here. I read lots and started to understand the cycle of abuse. I spent a long time reading posts on here. ( I wasn’t very good at posting though). I then contacted my local DA centre. They have been so supportive and got me counselling sessions. I started to become stronger. I have contacted a solicitor and taken legal advice. I have told friends what I have been going through for years and years. I did tell him a while back how unhappy I was. He cried and told me he would change. Since then he has been the perfect husband but in the past few weeks, I see little signs of the normal him coming through. Because of my reading I know he won’t change. And so I have sorted somewhere to go. But this post is not about me…I just wanted to give you some hope that there can be light at the end of this bloody dark tunnel.x

[Gerbil]

Thank you both for your replies. I really do appreciate it and I am sorry that you are both in similar situations. He keeps on talking about things in the future as if I hadn’t even mentioned anything to him. I honestly feel like I am going mad!
Xx

[Gerbil]

Lisa thank you so much for your reply.
My (detail removed by Moderator) has just attacked me verbally saying I hate you, you have done nothing.
I am absolutely distraught.
She says she thinks of me, the same way as she thinks of him.
I really can’t cope anymore

[Gerbil]

Hi Wildstar
I feel exactly the same way you do. The worst things for me are just getting 3 ish hours sleep a night. And at the moment my anxiety levels are so high that I feel like a metal plate is being pushed against my chest.
It’s awful isn’t it ..it just shows how much your mental health affects your physical health.
Have you talked to your GP?
Take care honey. X

[Gerbil]

Hi Amitoughenough
I am slightly further down the road than you. Our situations are so similar. Once I started reading on here and reading books recommended on here, I knew I was in an abusive relationship. I have made contact with my local DA service and have just started therapy through them. I have also talked to my GP as I was becoming a nervous wreck.
Once you realise that it’s abuse, you can’t unsee it
Take care and keep posting x

[Gerbil]

Hi Cornflake
I too am in a very similar situation to you, age and family situation wise so I completely understand where you are coming from…yes it is a living hell.
I am at the stage now when I am going to call our local DA support office and get lawyer advice.
Have you done any reading around domestic abuse? I found that really helped me along with being on this forum with people that truly understand.
Take care honey x

[Gerbil]

Dear Raven eclipse
I too completely understand where you are coming from. I too am always on alert for his moods and what is going to “set him off”. I used to think I could work out what would annoy him but I don’t seem to be able to do that anymore. My anxiety levels are sky high because of this.
I am really sorry that you and so many others on here are also going through this. It’s no life and you are right ..it is exhausting.
X

[Gerbil]

Oh darling. I really feel for you. Yes it is abuse. Yes it’s not right. You should not feel guilty…you are not the one at fault!

[Gerbil]

Dear Nbumblebee
You have given so much support to so many of us on here. You are on a journey now ( or a ladder), you have seen the abuse and know the patterns, you just need to get stronger now and go further on that journey. Like yourself, over Christmas and NY, I realised that I too need to really push forward on this journey to get to my end goal…to leave!
Big hug x

[Gerbil]

That is so fantastic that he is out. Although it will be hard in the next few months…just think about how good it will feel not having him there!
Take care honey x

[Gerbil]

Dear nbumblebee
This is typical abuser tactics. You like so many of us on here are always walking on eggshells…one minute charming the next raging. I feel for you and your children going through this.
Sometimes I don’t know which is harder .the rage or the nice charming periods…when he’s being nice I am so tense waiting for the rage .
Take care honey x

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